


grey havens

by creepingrosemary



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Burn, Touch-Starved, future iwadai, lots of background relationships to be added as we go along, reference to past abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 04:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 52,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10631862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creepingrosemary/pseuds/creepingrosemary
Summary: Sugawara Koushi comes home at the start of his winter break to find a man unconscious at his apartment door - pale, thin, and dirty - and learns that the man's name is Oikawa Tooru. As a shapeshifter, Oikawa is on the run from the organization looking for him.And others like him.Suga may have his work cut out for him.





	1. satellites

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm not dead!
> 
> Miss me?
> 
> All joking aside, with my college graduation coming up, writer's block, and just life in general kicking me in the teeth, writing has proven quite difficult so I'm just now getting back into the swing of things. Now I know I have Remembering Sunday up and running but it honestly takes a bit of time to plan out each chapter for that fic and I'm out of steam for it - for now. So that's on hold while I crank out an AU that I've always wanted to try. Maybe I'll find out if I should stick to reincarnation/kid AUs with this one.
> 
> At any rate, I'm gonna stop talking. I hope you enjoy this and any comments and kudos are much appreciated.

Koushi sighed, his breath clouding at his lips, and he brought the coffee in one hand to his mouth while his other hand held the umbrella keeping the chilled rain at bay. Thick, grey clouds hung overhead, blocking out the pastel colors of sunset, kissing the tops of Tokyo skyscrapers and promising rain for the rest of the week. Koushi didn’t mind the rain. In fact, he found it rather captivating. Depending on its mood, it could embrace or push. Kiss gently or kiss like bullets.

But it wasn’t so captivating when he was walking from his last final exam in the middle of December and the cold was running over every piece of exposed skin it could get its greedy little fingers on. Scarves and coffee only did so much. But he tried to focus on the fact that classes were over for the next three weeks after thriving on coffee and energy drinks to crank out essays and regurgitate onto a multitude of exams. Not to mention he had his thesis due at the end of March. He was going to school for psychology with a concentration in behavior, and he hadn’t begun researching yet. He didn’t even know where to start. And it didn’t help that his professor was hounding him about it.

It had gotten to the point where he stopped sweetening his coffee and relied on the pure bitterness of its original form to keep him conscious.

He took another sip.

It was an acquired taste.

But now he could breathe in the crisp air without wanting to scream at the top of his lungs. For now.

Yeah, this was nice.

He walked up the stairs to his apartment, grateful to be under a roof, and shook the excess water from his umbrella before digging around in his bag for his keys. Sometimes he wished he lived on campus purely for the convenience, but then he remembered that he enjoyed the distance from the bustle of campus life. And because this was his parents’ idea. They insisted that they’d pay for everything while Koushi focused on school, his master’s and then eventually his doctorate, and when he tried to protest they wouldn’t budge.

Koushi moved one of his textbooks out of the way, certain that his keys were tucked under it, and his fingertips barely grazed their chilled ridges when he noticed. He froze, breath catching in his chest and burning.

A man.

A man was sprawled out in front of his apartment door, nothing but long slender limbs, a slim, softly angular face, and skin as washed out as the sky. The only color to him were the red, swollen, bruised soles of his feet and the splotches of dirt all over his hands and face. His clothes, which seemed to only be a gray pair of pants and shirt, were soaked through and tattered at the edges, riddled with mud and grass stains. Even his chestnut brown hair, damp as it was and curling softly at the ends, seemed dull. And once Koushi knelt down to get a better look at the man’s face, he noticed the shivers playing along his body. 

Thunder rumbled across the sky, through Koushi’s core, and reminded him to breathe. This man at his feet was obviously lost, probably homeless, and probably sick. Cold. Hungry. Sick. And the storm was supposed to get worse as the day wore on.

Koushi couldn’t just leave him out here.

He put his umbrella down, reaching a tentative hand forward, and as soon as he placed it on the man’s shoulder it was like Koushi had electrocuted him. The man shot up, his eyes flitting around wildly, taking in everything before finally landing on Koushi. His gaze was hollow, sunken – dark purple crescents a clear indication of exhaustion, but his coffee eyes shimmered with something other than fear. They seemed to glow, almost in an inhuman sense, the liveliest thing Koushi had seen about the man so far, but he couldn’t ignore the pure terror on the man’s face, or the way his pupils dilated, swimming in chocolate, the way his chest heaved, the way he brought his knees to his chest and locked his arms around them and shrank into himself, away from Koushi’s touch.

An animal.

That’s what he reminded Koushi of.

A frightened animal.

And so Koushi held up his hands, scooting back but staying at eye-level with the brunet. He could practically hear Daichi scolding him from afar, saying that Koushi should’ve just called for help because this man was a stranger, but Koushi felt this person was a lot more afraid of him than the other way around.

 _Stay calm,_ he told himself.

“Hi,” Koushi said, immediately feeling dumb. “Uh… do you know where you are?”

The man just stared at him, body rigid, debating fight or flight, his eyes never leaving Koushi’s.

“This is my apartment,” Koushi continued. “I found you sleeping out here. Do you need help?”

The man, well, he seemed to be about Koushi’s age, stayed quiet, as if the rain might answer for him. The only signs of life were the shallow rise and fall of his chest. Koushi considered repeating the question, wondering if the man understood. Did he even speak Japanese? If not, this was going to be so much more difficult. Koushi was solid in English, was picking up some words in French and Spanish. But did this guy know any of those languages? Silence pulsed between them for a few more moments, the man barely moving and Koushi barely breathing, until finally there was a nod.

The man nodded – slow, deliberate, unsure.

“You need help?” Koushi asked.

Another nod.

“Okay.” Koushi ran his fingers through his hair, trying to figure out his next move. “Uh, can you tell me your name?” And when the brunet averted his gaze, something twisted in Koushi’s chest – hard, aching – that made him dig his keys from his bag in finality. “How about this: you can come in and shower, get something to eat, and then we can get you the help you need. That sound good?”

The man nodded, standing once Koushi did and moving from the door. And Koushi couldn’t help but notice the very obvious height different between them as he unlocked the door nor could he miss the large distance the man kept from Koushi as they entered. Koushi toed off his shoes and went around picking up some clothes he had left lying around over the past few days.

His apartment wasn’t very large – just a two bedroom with crème painted walls and white trim. A friend from high school was supposed to room with him but he ended up attending a university in Hokkaido at the last second. Not that Koushi minded, he was happy for his friend, and he learned to enjoy the quiet and not expect a younger sibling to come barging in, or for his parents to ask for help with the other four. He never minded being the oldest of five children nor did he mind helping. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate the quiet.

And now he appreciated the free bedroom.

The man looked around, his eyes scanning the photos adorning the walls and end table of Koushi’s family, friends, and high school volleyball team. He’d seen some of his underclassmen on campus, and as a graduate student he was happy to help them when they asked. He stood right in the middle of the living room, not venturing further even when it seemed like the photos, the succulent plants by the window, and the jikin goldfish swimming around in its tank had caught his interest, arms folded over his chest, still trying to seem as small as possible.

“I’m gonna grab some clothes for you,” Koushi said, feeling his chest tighten when he saw the other startle. He lowered his voice. “Sorry. I’ll be right back.” He didn’t wait for a reply and instead moved to his room, dropping the clothes in a hamper and his backpack near his desk before taking his phone out of his pocket and dropping a quick text to Daichi.

 

**From: Suga and Spice  
To: Dadchi**

**Don’t panic but I found some guy sleeping outside my apartment door and I may or may not have let him in so if I die just know I love you and I enjoyed our friendship. Please take care of our underclassmen for me. Make sure Hinata stays away from melons, he’s allergic. Also please remind Kageyama that milk his not a food group. Tell Asahi and Noya I send my love. Make sure Ennoshita looks after Tanaka you know how he can get. Oh and tell Tsukishima to lighten up before I throw a lamp at him if Kuroo doesn’t get to it first.  
You can have my movies and coffee maker when I’m gone. Not like you need another Keurig you already have two.**

 

He put his phone down on his nightstand after sending it and sifted through his dresser drawers. And, given that his unexpected houseguest was a solid two inches taller than him, Koushi wondered if any of his clothes would even fit. It should be fine, right? It was just temporary. Maybe there was something…

“Here we go!” Suga pulled out a shirt. It was a deep red color with long sleeves and was soft and worm from its multiple trips through the washing machine. It was also Daichi’s. He had left it here when he spent the night a few weeks ago. He found a pair of black sweatpants, a pair of boxers, and, hoping it would fit, headed back out to the living area.

And the man hadn’t moved an inch.

“Um,” Koushi started, voice soft so as not to scare him again. He made sure to smile when the brunet faced him. “The bathroom’s over here.”

The man stood there, unsure, and Koushi made no move to rush him, but then finally stepped over and took them when Koushi held them out. After showing how the shower worked and where the clean towels were, Koushi slipped out of the bathroom and smiled once the man nodded once at him.

And Koushi took that as a thank you.

He hoped Daichi didn’t mind him lending out his shirt.

Oh, speaking of Daichi…

Koushi moved back to his room just as his phone vibrated and lit up with text messages and three missed calls. He was about to hit the callback button when Daichi’s name and contact photo (which was a picture of him and Koushi using the Snapchat puppy filter) popped up on the screen. And Koushi slid right on the screen to answer.

“He –”

 _“What the fuck do you mean ‘don’t panic’?”_ Daichi’s voice roared through the receiver, making Koushi hold the phone away from his ear. _“You can’t tell me that and then say that you have some random guy at your place! It doesn’t work that way!”_

“Hi, Daichi,” Koushi said.

_“Are you okay?”_

“Yeah, I’m fine. He’s in the shower right now.”

_“Who is he?”_

“Don’t know. He hasn’t said a word. I don’t think he’s gonna do anything, Daichi.”

Daichi huffed. _“That doesn’t mean he’s not capable.”_

“I wasn’t just gonna leave him outside to freeze.”

_“You’re too nice, Suga.”_

“I have a reputation to live up to.”

_“Shut up, I’m on my way.”_

Koushi walked around the living room now, phone tucked between his ear and shoulder as he picked up empty coffee cups, Monster and Redbull cans, and instant ramen cups. “Daichi, don’t be ridiculous, you live halfway across Tokyo. If something were to happen, Inoue-san would make it here faster than you. And she’s 85.”

_“Just because she’s 85 doesn’t mean she can’t have some pep in her step. You’ve seen my grandmother move and she’s in her 90s. But that’s why I’m leaving now. So I can help.”_

“Daichi, I’ll be fine.”

_“No, Suga, I’m not letting you stay in your house alone with some random stranger. Don’t act like you’re not excited to see me.”_

Koushi tossed the trash in the bin. “I’m absolutely thrilled, you know I always enjoy your company.”

_“Your sarcasm is riveting. Anyway, I’m heading to the train station. I’ll be there in about 20 to 30 minutes. Don’t do anything rash.”_

“Says you.”

_“Goodbye, Suga.”_

Koushi laughed, pocketing his phone. While he didn’t want Daichi to come all this way since he lived on campus, it was comforting to know one of his best friends was rushing across town to help out. He and Daichi had been friends since first grade when they both tag-teamed and dumped sand down a boy’s pants because he was picking on one of their classmates. Yeah, they got in trouble too but it was the start of something beautiful.

Koushi went back to the living room, jumping a bit when he rounded the corner and found his unexpected guest standing there wearing the clothes Koushi offered, his still damp fringe curling and sticking to his forehead as some of the soft tufts stuck out. The shirt was a little big on him, especially around the shoulders where Daichi’s broad shoulders and back could easily fill it in, and the sweatpants rode a little high above his ankles, but that was to be expected since Koushi was so much shorter than him. His old clothes were bundled in his arms, the towel draping around his shoulders. He fidgeted, eyes trained on the ground and only giving Koushi periodic glances. He was handsome.

And giving his best smile and moving slowly, Koushi held out his hands. “I can take those for you.”

He waited patiently, keeping his smile as the man inched forward and placed the clothes in Koushi’s hands. The brunet’s fingertips brushed the back of Koushi’s hands, callouses ghosting over softer skin, and he took a huge step away as soon as he gave up his clothes. They were plain, a darker grey than the sky. And now that Koushi saw the smaller tears and frayed edges of the shirt, he wondered if it’d be worth it.

“Do you want me to wash them?” Koushi asked.

The brunet seemed to think about it before shaking his head.

“Got it,” Koushi said. “I was gonna start making dinner. Are you hungry?”

Another nod was followed by a loud growl from an empty stomach. The man flushed, the first natural color on his face, and shuffled on his feet while fisting his hands in his shirt, and Koushi couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s okay, no need to be shy.” Koushi beckoned him over. “Follow me, you can sit here at the table.”

He tossed the ruined clothes in the trash and started looking through his cabinets, wondering what he could make. Should he make a huge dinner? Definitely enough for three now that Daichi was on his way. But it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t have what he needed. He looked at the window, at the droplets streaming down the glass in tiny waves. Yeah, he wasn’t driving out in that. Maybe he could make something small for now just to tie them over. Sandwiches? Soup? And in the midst of his rummaging Koushi’s eyes trailed back to the brunet at the table. Quiet. Just watching.

He should probably ask what the guy likes.

“Is there anything specific you want?” Koushi asked, his tone treading lightly. It was getting easier to talk to him.

The brunet shook his head.

“Sandwiches okay?”

A nod.

Perfect.

Koushi first filled a kettle with water and set it to boil on the stove for tea since his coffee was probably cold by now and then went about making sandwiches – ham and turkey, he didn’t want to take the risk with peanut butter – and set it in front of the brunet at the table. He stared at it, obviously curious if the way he sniffed at it was any indication. But surprisingly enough, he didn’t make a go for it like Koushi thought he would. He waited – head low, eyes on the table, hands twisted together in his lap.

He stole a glance towards Koushi before looking down at the food again.

Like…

Like he was asking for permission.

“You can go ahead and eat,” Koushi said, his words tumbling out of him at an almost breakneck speed. “You don’t have to wait. Go ahead.”

And none of that food stood a chance. He scarfed it down, eating the four sandwiches stacked on the plate. Koushi had half a mind to tell him to slow down so he wouldn’t get a stomachache but this was the most energetic he’d seen the brunet in their short time together. It even brought a little smile to his face.

“So,” Koushi started once the man let out a content sigh. “Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself? What’s your name? I’m Sugawara Koushi, but you can just call me Suga. Everyone else does.”

The brunet was quiet, and now that his hair was drying it curled more and stuck out in odd, soft waves. The tea kettle whistled high and loud on the stovetop, shattering the silence and making Oikawa flinch in his seat, and Koushi tended to it while he waited for an answer. What tea flavor did he want today? Jasmine? Oolong? Hmm, maybe –

“Suga.”

Koushi almost dropped the hot kettle, whipping around to face the other. The brunet still wasn’t looking at him and was instead staring at the table as if the wooden grain patterns were the most interesting thing in the world. He scraped his fingernail across the uneven surface, a thoughtful look on his face.

“Suga,” he said again, his mouth curving around Koushi’s name like it was a new language being spoken for the first time. He looked up now, his ethereal eyes shimmering, swallowing the red of his shirt, the warm glow of the lights, the grey leaking in from the thunderous sky – mixing, swirling, becoming otherworldly.

Koushi left the kettle on the counter and went back to the table. The brunet’s voice was quiet, hoarse, but given that this was the first word he’d spoken it sounded deafening. And it made Koushi grin.

“Yeah.” Koushi nodded. “What’s your name?”

“Oikawa,” he said. “Oikawa Tooru.”

Koushi’s cheeks stretched wider if that was even possible. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Oikawa-san.”

Oikawa nodded. “N-Nice to meet you, too.”

“Are you thirsty, Oikawa-san? I’m making tea. Do you want some?” Koushi headed back to the kettle, happy that they were gaining some ground. He needed to make it before it cooled. “What flavor do you like?” He needed to ease his way into these questions. The last thing he wanted was for this to feel like an interrogation. He started pilfering through the cabinets again, but when he didn’t receive an answer he turned back to Oikawa. And he had the most confused look on his face. “Is something wrong, Oikawa-san?”

Oikawa stayed quiet, shoulders hunched. “Um…”

“Do you not want any? It’s fine if you don’t. I just figured I’d offer since it’s cold outside.”

“What’s tea?”

Koushi would be lying if he said he wasn’t taken aback. Oikawa didn’t know what tea was? Koushi tried to think of instances where this might be possible, possible background scenarios and Oikawa had to have been living a very sheltered life. Or under a rock. Crap, the guy was sleeping outside his apartment door for crying out loud so he had to be homeless. What if he _did_ live under a rock? 

Good job for being an insensitive ass, Koushi.

He didn’t know how long he’d been standing there blinking in what could only be incredulity and cleared his throat. How could he explain this? “Um, well, tea is…”

What _was_ tea?

In its complexity, tea was warm, calm, inviting after a cold or stressful day. It settled nerves, made others feel welcome. It was friendship, laughter sweetening the taste, joy easing the hot sips. An evening by the fire. It was home – mother, father, brothers, and sisters.

In its simplicity, it was water with leaves in it.

Water _flavored_ by leaves.

Leaf water.

He was making leaf water.

Oikawa shifted in his seat, bringing Koushi’s attention back to the question at hand. “It’s kind of hard to explain,” Koushi said. _Not really, it’s just embarrassing to explain we drink leaf water at our leisure._ “But tea is kind of like water, but it’s hot and there’s different flavors you can choose from.” He picked a box from the shelf. “Tell you what – I’ll pick a flavor and if you don’t like it, I’ll make you something else.”

Oikawa nodded, looking more intrigued now that his question was answered.

Koushi smiled, preparing their drinks with practiced fluidity and was about to serve them when Oikawa suddenly perked up from his study of the table and looked at the door. “Oikawa-san? Is something wrong?”

Oikawa didn’t say anything, just stared at the door and rose to his feet, quietly sniffing the air. Koushi moved closer to Oikawa to see what the deal was but faced an empty living room. He looked to Oikawa, who didn’t flinch and instead kept staring at the door – or whatever caught his interest – and looked back into the other room. What could it possibly–?

There was a knock, almost making Koushi jump out of his skin and making Oikawa hurry to the back of the apartment even though Koushi called out to him. He thought about going to look for him until there was another knock that distracted him for the moment.

“Suga!” Daichi immediately put his hands on Koushi’s shoulders when the door opened. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Koushi said, smiling. “I told you I was. As much I appreciate your unconditional concern for me, you didn’t have to come all this way.”

Daichi adjusted the strap of his backpack. Wait, backpack? “I wanted to see for myself.” He walked inside when Suga moved out of the doorway, slipping off his shoes and looking around. And Koushi knew he saw the extra plate and askew chair. “He’s still here?”

Koushi nodded. “Yeah. But he went running as soon as you knocked.”

“I don’t know whether to be offended or not. Didn’t you tell him I was coming?”

“I would have but I was a lot more concerned with feeding him, sorry.” Koushi sighed, feeling bad that Oikawa got spooked due to his absentmindedness. “I’m gonna go grab him. Do you mind waiting here? He’s, uh, kind of shy.”

Daichi shrugged off his backpack and jacket. “Sure thing.”

Koushi ambled down the hall. “Oikawa-san?” he peeked into the guest room, opening the closet, looking under the bed, even drawing back the curtains and finding nothing. “Oikawa-san?” He went to the bathroom next and opened the cabinets under the sink. Where could he have gone? There was only so many places that could fit a person his size. Sure, Oikawa was lean, but there were obvious signs of considerable weight loss.

He moved the shower curtain back, sighing when he saw it was empty. His room was next. Koushi pulled up the covers to look under the bed when he heard it.

“Suga…”

Turning towards his bedroom closet, Koushi eased open the doors and found Oikawa sitting on the floor, knees drawn to his chest, his clothes hanging above him concealing most of his head, and he looked up at Koushi with those wide chocolate eyes of his. Koushi kneeled down, his expression soft. “Hey.” He smiled. “I’m sorry if you got scared. I forgot to tell you that my friend was coming over.”

“Friend…”

“Yes.” Koushi sat down to be at eye-level. “I’m really close to him so he’s more like my best friend. His name is Sawamura Daichi, and he’s a really nice guy. He just came by to check on me. Did you want to meet him?”

Oikawa seemed to think this offer over, his eyes falling off to the side and wringing his hands together, before finally nodding. Koushi grinned, standing and holding out his hand. Oikawa stared at it, once again contemplating his choices, and reached out his hand and placed it in Koushi’s, his lightly calloused, slender fingers embracing his palm, and Koushi helped him up.

But once Oikawa was on his feet, Koushi froze. And thinking back on it, he was extremely embarrassed. As involuntary as it was, he should’ve taken it in stride. Brushed it off. Not look at Oikawa like he’d just grown a second head. Or, well…

Two – no, those weren’t cat ears, they were too rounded at the tips – sat atop Oikawa’s head, peeking from his wavy tufts of hair, his human ears seeming to have disappeared in the locks altogether, and the way they were shaped reminded Koushi of a German Sheppard. They were the same chestnut color as Oikawa’s hair, twitching towards the sounds of Tokyo traffic, and then Koushi noticed the long, fluffy tail swaying gently behind him, also brown in color.

Reading the confused look in Oikawa’s eyes, Koushi only muttered, “Your ears.” He didn’t even notice Oikawa’s hand was still in his, warm – warmer than any human he’s ever met – and sturdy, strong, as lithe as it was. “Um, your ears.”

It took a minute, but once realization hit, Oikawa’s hands immediately flew to his head, covering his new set of ears (Koushi also took note of the brunet’s longer, sharpened nails), and his tail laid flat against his legs, the brown fur frayed. His eyes, widened in fear, fell to the ground, and he inched away from Koushi and back towards the closet.

Koushi pulled himself together. “No, no, no – it’s okay! It’s okay. You don’t have to hide it.”

Oikawa glanced at him, unsure.

“I promise, it’s okay. You’re safe here. You don’t have to hide it.” Koushi kept his voice low, soft. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

Oikawa moved his hands, slowly but surely, until his ears were shown, but they stayed back and flat against his head, his tail twitching behind him anxiously.

“You’re a shifter,” Koushi said.

Oikawa nodded, quiet. “Wolf.”

Koushi has met a cat shifter before. A fox, a bear, even a panther – that last one was the wildest animal form he’d seen to date. But never a wolf. This was a first. And, given some of the stigma that shapeshifters still faced today even in their modern society, Koushi understood why Oikawa was so reluctant.

“Ah, I see,” Koushi said once he realized Oikawa was waiting for a reaction. “Well, that doesn’t change a thing. You’re still welcome to stay here as long as you need to.”

“I can… stay?”

“Of course.”

“You don’t… you don’t think I’m scary?”

“Not at all,” Koushi said. “Why would I think that?”

“Humans are… supposed to be scared of shifters.”

Koushi gnawed on the inside of his cheek. “Well, sometimes people are afraid of what they don’t understand. But I can promise you that not everyone is like that. I’m not like that. Daichi’s not like that. I wouldn’t do that to you, Oikawa-san.”

The relief was completely palpable in Oikawa’s eyes, tears forming, tension rolling off his shoulders, and Koushi was caught completely off-guard when he was wrapped in Oikawa’s arms and brought to his chest. “Thank you,” Oikawa said, his words catching. “Thank you so much.”

Koushi smiled, settling his hands on Oikawa’s back and patting gently. “There’s no need to thank me. I won’t tell anyone, not even my friend if you don’t want me to.”

Oikawa pulled back, gnawing on his bottom lip, a sharpened canine showing, and then he shook his head. Koushi understood. Oikawa didn’t know either of them that well, and finding out that Oikawa was a shifter in the first place was purely by accident. He wanted to keep this on the down low for now. And Koushi would respect that.

“He’s a good guy, I promise. His bark is a lot worse than his bite,” Koushi said.

Oikawa tilted his head. “Is he a shifter, too?”

Koushi couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, no, he’s human. I just meant that he sounds and looks tough but he wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Oikawa still looked a little puzzled but he nodded and then shook his head quickly, his wolf ears disappearing and replaced with his human ones as his tail completely vanished. He glanced up at Koushi, and Koushi tacked on a smile as he beckoned him to follow him back out to the living room where Daichi was looking at the photo of their high school volleyball team, clad in orange and black, grinning wildly with tears in their eyes, tackling each other after a big win at the national tournament. It was one of Koushi’s favorite pictures. It filled him with nostalgia of simpler times, of training camps during hot, sticky summers as locusts buzzed in their ears and stirred the air, of shoe soles squeaking on shining, wooden floors, of the rhythmic thump of the volleyball hitting the other side of the other side of the court. And he could see that Daichi hear it, too.

“Daichi,” Koushi said.

His friend set the picture down, turning around, and stopped. Oikawa didn’t make initial eye contact, hands behind his back, but he offered a small smile after a few terse moments.

“Daichi, this is Oikawa Tooru. Oikawa-san, Sawamura Daichi.” 

Daichi donned a welcoming grin. “It’s nice to meet you.” He held out his hand.

Oikawa looked at Daichi’s hand then at Koushi. And if Daichi was wondering why Oikawa didn’t pick up on that social cue, he didn’t voice it.

“You shake it,” Koushi explained. “Like this.” He demonstrated by shaking Daichi’s hand and smiled at the shifter. “See? It’s easy. Give it a shot.”

Daichi stood there, hand still extended and still smiling. Oikawa reached out, clasping his hand with Daichi’s and moving his arm hesitantly. And Oikawa’s smile widened inch by inch once he met Daichi’s gaze. Koushi’s heart nearly gave out in relief. This was off to a solid start.

“By the way – Daichi, you came at the perfect time. I just finished making some oolong tea. You up for it?” Koushi asked.

“Sounds great.” Daichi trailed after his friend to the kitchen. “Want some, Oikawa?”

Oikawa perked to attention at the mention of the still foreign drink. “Sure.” He sat at the table, across from Daichi so Koushi could sit in between them at the head of the arrangement and stared into the deep, amber liquid once it was in front of him. He sniffed it.

Koushi smiled. “Go on, try it. It’s good. But be careful, it’s a little hot.” He raised the cup to his lips, not missing the way Oikawa’s eyes followed his every move.

Oikawa picked up the mug, holding it carefully in his hands, and brought it to his lips, barely tipping it back to get a small taste. He winced at the heat but he seemed to have gotten enough of a taste because his eyes glistened, popped with the very amber color the tea was, much like what happened before with the shirt’s red hue. His eyes seemed to do that, swallow any color that got too close, too intense. It was… enchanting. Beautiful.

“Were you gonna stay the night, Daichi?” Koushi asked, looking at his friend over the rim of the cup.

Daichi chuckled. “Already trying to kick me out, Suga?”

“No, I just need to figure out dinner.” Koushi said, his eyes glinting with mischief. “But seriously, I didn’t mean you to cause you any problems.”

“Shut up, Suga, you’re never a problem. And you actually caught me at the right time. I just got home from working with my group and I rushed back over here.”

Koushi sighed. “I appreciate it, but I told you I’d be fine, Daichi. You’re going out of town tomorrow, aren't you? Don’t you still have to pack? And knowing you, that's a big no.”

“I wasn’t gonna leave you alone, Suga. Besides, I was planning on popping by before I left anyway. I know you're a sucker for heartfelt goodbyes.”

“Pfft, yeah right.” Koushi turned to the man on his left. “Oikawa-san, did you wanna join us?”

“Y-Yes,” Oikawa said.

Daichi leaned back in the chair. “How does yakisoba sound?” 

“Great!” Koushi grinned. It _was_ cold outside, _and_ they had just finished finals and lived through enough stress to last them the next 20 years. Koushi pushed the thought of his thesis to the back of his mind for now. Yeah. Yakisoba was good. And luckily enough he already had everything they would need. Not to mention his dad had a great recipe for it. He pulled out a small, thick, leather-bound book from the drawer near the oven. It was filled to the brim with recipes given to him by his father, who was the cook in the family, since his mother could only solidly operate the microwave and maybe the toaster oven on a good day.

“Um,” Oikawa said, “what’s yakisoba?”

Koushi grinned, leafing through the laminated pages. “It’s a great dish that you’ve gotta try. I really think you’ll like it.”

Oikawa nodded, relaxing a bit more as he continued to drink his tea.

“But, Oikawa-san, if you don’t mind my asking,” Koushi said, noting the way Oikawa was staring into the grain of the dining table again. He found the page he was looking for and left it there, going back to the table and leaning over the back of the chair. “You told me earlier that you were lost. Do you mind telling me where you’re from? Maybe we can help you get back there.”

Oikawa shuffled in his seat, his face twisted, uncomfortable, his eyes falling to the floor. “I can’t remember.”

“That’s okay,” Koushi said. “Is there anyone you want us to call? Friends? Relatives?” Calling the police _did_ cross his mind, and it was probably what he _should_ do, but he didn’t know how well that’d sit with Oikawa who was just starting to open up. It might cause him to shut down again, They could handle this on their own, right?

Oikawa was quiet for a moment, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. Then he finally said, “Iwa-chan.”

“Iwa-chan?” Daichi repeated.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa muttered. Then louder, said, “Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi Hajime.”


	2. first light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was all different, one of those being the light. He was surrounded by it, woke up to it, warming his milky skin pleasantly and leaving no room for the Darkness.
> 
> Oh, and then there was Sugawara.
> 
>   _Suga._

“Iwaizumi Hajime?” Daichi repeated.

“Could it be the same Iwaizumi we’re thinking of, Daichi?” Koushi looked at him. “Iwaizumi isn’t exactly a common name.”

Oikawa settled his eyes on the hopeful, gaze hopeful. “You know Iwa-chan?”

“We think so.” Koushi smiled. Best not to give a definite answer if it wasn’t the same person. “The Iwaizumi we’re thinking of lives near Daichi. We’re actually really good friends with him. We can call him if you want.”

Oikawa nodded furiously.

“I’ll take care of it,” Daichi said, standing and pulling out his phone. And Koushi couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he watched Oikawa’s curious eyes follow Daichi’s every move, more specifically the phone. Maybe he’d never seen a smartphone before. “I’m gonna step outside for a minute.”

“All right, I’ll get started on dinner.” Koushi grabbed the box of noodles from the cabinet and a pot. He filled it with water, noticing the way Oikawa’s gaze followed Daichi out of the kitchen and out of the apartment altogether. He saw the subtle crease in Oikawa’s brow, the way his mouth twitched into a frown. “Don’t worry, Oikawa-san. It’ll be all right.” He grinned when Oikawa looked at him. “Do you wanna help me make dinner?”

That seemed to catch Oikawa’s interest. “You want me to help you?”

“Sure, if you want! It’s really easy to make, even for beginners. And my dad has a great recipe for it. It’s yakisoba – with a twist!”

Oikawa rose from his seat and inched over. “Uh… sure.”

“Thank you,” Koushi said, opening the box of pasta and handing it to the brunet in hopes that this would work out.

 

Daichi shut the apartment door, leaning back against it and sighing. He unlocked his phone, a text message thread immediately popping up. His eyes ran over the last couple of messages, grey and green bubbles of playful banter, before pressing the call button at the top right hand corner of the screen and bringing the phone to his ear.

 _“Hey, Sawamura.”_ A warm, even voice with a teasing lilt, one that rumbled deep within a strong chest through the speaker. Daichi missed it more than he wanted to admit. _“I’ve only been gone a day. Missed me already?”_

Daichi scoffed. “Yeah, you wish.”

There must’ve been something in Daichi’s tone, something about the way the words fell off his tongue that gave it away. _“Is everything all right?”_

“Uh, yeah.” Daichi finally remembered how words worked. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I think.”

 _“You think?”_ Daichi could almost see Iwaizumi raising an eyebrow. _“You made it to Suga’s, right? Is it about that guy Suga found outside his door?”_

“Yeah, actually.”

_“Judging by how calm you're acting, I'm assuming he didn't do anything.”_

“Yeah, nothing. He’s really quiet. Doesn’t say a whole lot.” Daichi tucked the phone between his shoulder and ear and picked at his nails. “But I have a question for you, and I’m sorry for interrupting your break.”

_“You’re fine, I’m not doing anything earthshattering. What’s up?”_

Daichi paused, trying to figure out the best way to go about this. But what easy way was there? And Iwaizumi never beat around the bush with him. Might as well just come out and say it. “Do you happen to know an Oikawa Tooru?”

A clap of thunder rolled overhead, rattling him, and Daichi heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line before all he heard was the rain pounding ruthlessly against the rooftops. Iwaizumi was completely silent, and for a moment, Daichi thought he hung up.

“Iwaizumi?” Daichi said. “Are you–?”

 _“What did you say?”_ Iwaizumi’s voice was a different kind of rumble now. It was strained. Breathless. Panicked, almost. Something that Daichi hadn’t really experienced before. Not even in their early days of college when they were roommates. _“That name – what did you say?”_

“Oikawa Tooru,” Daichi repeated. “Do you… do you know it?”

There was a loud rustle and sure footsteps descending rapidly down a staircase. _“You’re still at Suga’s?”_

“Oh, well, yeah. But I’m probably gonna head out later tonight. Why?”

_“I’m on my way.”_

“Wait, wait, you’re all the way in Osaka.”

_“I don’t care, I’m packing my bag. I’ll be there in the morning. Is he… is Oikawa going to stay there?”_

“Yeah, Suga’s letting him stay. They’re making dinner right now.”

Iwaizumi let out a heavy sigh. _“Okay. Okay good. Um, just tell Suga to hang tight and that I’ll be there in the morning. You’re heading out of town tomorrow afternoon, aren’t you?”_

“Yeah, at noon. I gotta catch the train.”

_“Okay. If I don’t see you, be safe in Miyagi over the break. I gotta pack so I’ll talk to you later.”_

Daichi gripped tighter onto the phone. “I’d try and stop you, but you and Suga have always been stubborn as hell so there’s no point.”

Iwaizumi huffed out a laugh. _“Glad you’re learning. Be safe on the trip tomorrow.”_

“I will.”

_“Oh, and Sawamura?”_

“Yeah?”

 _“Thank you. So much.”_ The smile was clear in Iwaizumi’s voice as well as the exhaustion of completing a six-hour drive and the preparation of making it again.

And Daichi couldn’t help as his own smile crossed his face. “No problem. Be safe driving tomorrow. Let me know when you make it.”

_“Okay, Mom.”_

“Shut up.”

There were soft murmurs in the background that Iwaizumi hurriedly responded to. _“Sawamura, I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta go. Talk to you later?”_

“Of course.”

They hung up after that, and Daichi could feel the cold settling in his bones again, the rain splashing in his face.

 

“There, just like that. Could you put the vegetables in, please?” Koushi said as he tended to the pork cooking in the pan.

Oikawa picked up the cutting board of sliced onion, carrots, and bell peppers, his round eyes still watering from the onion fumes, and dumped it into the pan, watching as it slowly browned when Koushi worked all the ingredients together around. Koushi figured he’d have Oikawa stay away from the knives and stove and only have him hand over things to add in. The last thing Koushi needed (and wanted) was a fire. Or lost fingers. Yeah, he wasn’t prepared for that.

“Thank you.” Koushi smiled. He continued to stir the vegetables, glancing at the recipe beside him even though he knew it front to back, side to side. That was the case with the rest of the recipes, too. He knew every stroke and loop of his father’s handwriting, every press of the pen. Every scratched-out word. It was something he held dear. Something that made home seem closer than it was. Something that helped him remember the first time he tried making cookies and almost burning the house down or the first time he successfully made a strawberry cake at nine-years-old.

He glanced over to Oikawa who was still watching his every move but also had his lithe hands twisted into the hem of his shirt, the chocolate in his eyes swirling and melting. “Everything okay, Oikawa-san?” Koushi drained the excess water from the pan.

Oikawa startled a bit, his hands tightening their grip, diverting his eyes to anywhere but Koushi.

“Nervous? About Iwaizumi?”

The brunet didn’t say anything but instead offered a nod, which made Koushi wonder just how long Oikawa and Iwaizumi have been separated. How long Oikawa’s been gone. Did he leave? Just disappear without a trace? Left behind his home – friends, parents, possibly brothers and sisters. All ties connecting him to familiar faces and places. But then Koushi remembered how frightened Oikawa looked only an hour ago, how reserved he still was. He dirty he was. How those old, grey clothes seemed to swallow him whole. How he scarfed down the sandwiches like it was the last meal he’d have for a long time. Oikawa didn’t know what tea was.

Where could he have been to not know? To have this reaction?

“Don’t worry.” Koushi checked on the cooking noodles off to the side. They were loose and soft now, so Koushi added the vegetables and the homemade yakisoba sauce after draining the water out and sprinkled in pinches of salt and pepper. “Daichi’s gonna take care of it.” He dealt the noodles out onto three separate plates with aonori and benishoga on each pile. “And if it turns out that we don’t know the Iwaizumi you’re talking about, we’ll keep looking for him. I will help you keep looking for him. I can promise you that.” He held out the plate of noodles to Oikawa, wearing a smile for good measure.

Oikawa took the plate, staring into the food and his eyes glistened. “Thank you… Suga.”

“No need to thank me. You can go ahead and eat before it gets cold. I don’t know how much longer Daichi’s gonna be.”

Oikawa parked himself in the same chair just as the apartment door opened and spun around to watch Daichi coming in, his food forgotten.

“Just in time, Daichi.” Koushi placed the other two plates at the table. “How’d it go?”

Daichi rain his fingers through his hair, droplets of water threating through his fingers from the wind tossing the rain around. “Well. He’s coming.”

Koushi paused. “Whoa, seriously? What’d he say?”

“He didn’t give too much detail, but he said he’d be here in the morning. But when I mentioned Oikawa’s name, he just – I don’t know – he seemed… panicked, almost. Enough to drop everything and hurry over here.” Daichi then smiled at Oikawa, who so far hadn’t moved an inch. “So yeah, he’s coming.”

Oikawa looked between both Koushi and Daichi, eyes wide with obvious disbelief. “Iwa-chan’s… coming?”

“Yup! He’ll be here before you know it.”

And Oikawa grinned.

Dinner finished smoothly after that, idle chatter floating between Koushi and Daichi with Oikawa listening and contributing when asked a question. Daichi cleared the dishes despite Koushi’s protests, and Oikawa perched himself on the couch when Koushi asked if he wanted to watch TV. The shifter seemed to have more energy now, but there was still the lingering exhaustion in his movements. And it was evident in the way he yawned unabashedly. Koushi wasn’t exactly sure what Oikawa wanted to watch, so he just read off a list of the DVDs he owned and placed them behind him.

“I’ve got some Disney movies, action movies, science-fiction movies – oh, hey, _The Day After Tomorrow._ That’s a great one.”

“What’s that?” Oikawa leaned forward on the couch, trying to see the DVDs on the floor.

 _“The Day After Tomorrow?_ Oh, well, basically it’s about how global warming affects our climate in dangerous ways. There’s a whole bunch of storms – hail, tornadoes, hurricanes, you name it. Does that sound interesting to you?”

Oikawa nodded, his tired eyes sparkling with obvious intrigue. He grabbed one of the small couch pillows to his left and clutched it to his chest, crossing his legs and watched as Koushi slipped the DVD into the player. Koushi skipped through the trailers, pressed play as soon as the menu came on, and Oikawa yawned again and watched the opening sequence with half-lidded, hazy eyes. Koushi smiled and went back to the kitchen where Daichi was rinsing off the pot to put it on the drying rack, so he grabbed a dish towel and plucked a plate to dry off.

“I got this, Suga,” Daichi said, scrubbing the pan clean. “Go make sure Oikawa is okay.”

“He’s watching TV. I give him ten minutes before he’s done.” Koushi picked up a mug and started drying it. “But I wanted to talk to you. About Iwaizumi.”

Daichi stared into the soapy water. “What about him?”

“I just feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“Trust me, I told you everything.”

“Then why do you have that look on your face?”

Daichi turned to him. “What look?”

Koushi furrowed his brow, mouth set into a deep, exaggerated, and comical frown. “This one. Your thinking face.”

“That’s not how I look.”

“Pretty damn close.” Koushi nudged him with his hip. “But seriously – what’s bothering you?”

Daichi shrugged, racking the pan when he finished rinsing it. “Dunno. Just worried, I guess.”

“About?”

“Well, you already guessed it. Iwaizumi. And this insane ass situation you – we’ve – found ourselves in.”

“To be fair, I didn’t drag you into this. You jumped in.”

“Whatever the circumstance,” Daichi said. “I’m still worried. Iwaizumi just got to Osaka yesterday afternoon and now he’s turning right back around. That’s a 12-hour drive over the past 48 hours.”

“Why didn’t he take the train?” Koushi started putting away the dried dishes.

“Money’s probably tight. Besides, he likes having his car. He hates having to constantly rely on public transportation.”

Koushi nodded. Okay, fair.

“I just – I don’t know. He seemed so… relieved when I told him Oikawa was here. He’s tired and he’s about to make a six-hour drive when he should rest, but he was so frantic that I didn’t have the heart to tell him to wait.” Daichi drained the water from the sink and rinsed the excess soap. “I told him to let me know when he gets here since I’ll probably be gone.”

Koushi continued putting away the dishes. “You two are adorable.”

“What? How?” Daichi raised an eyebrow.

“The way you two fuss over each other. Letting each other know when you arrive,” Koushi said, shutting the cupboard. “It’s cute.”

“We don’t fuss over each other. It’s a common courtesy.”

“Daichi, he made you food – specifically you since he already ate – because you refused to eat so you’d have more time to work on your project for class.”

“He was just being nice. We’re friends. And we play on the same volleyball team, I can’t bring everyone else down.”

“He slept in your bed when you two were roommates because you hate thunderstorms.”

A pink color tinted Daichi’s cheeks. “S-So?”

“So, it’s because he likes and cares about you. And you like and care about him too. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Yeah.” Daichi nodded. Then he stopped. “Wait, what?”

Koushi laughed, low but full of mischief. “Caught you red-handed.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m sure you don’t.” Koushi put the towel on the counter. “I’m not dumb, Daichi. And you’ve never really been good at hiding your emotions.”

“Or you’re just creepily good at reading people.”

“I’m gonna take that as a compliment. And I think you should tell him. You’ve had a crush on the guy since our second year of college. I say go for it.”

Daichi scoffed. “Yeah, okay. I’ll get back to you on that.”

“When you’re ready, of course.”

“And I’m definitely not ready to face possible rejection, thank you very much. I’ll stay happy and comfortable in denial.”

“How do you know you’re gonna get rejected?”

Daichi looked at him, eyes sharp, knowing, yet brimming with some form of hollow hope. “Come on, Suga. It’s me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means what’s he supposed to see in me?”

Koushi swiped the towel off the counter and whipped Daichi’s thigh with it.

Daichi recoiled, walking out of Koushi’s reach. “Ow! What the hell was that for?”

Koushi draped the towel over his shoulder, a trusted weapon, and leaned against the counter. “For being negative.”

“I’m just saying. I –” he quieted as soon as Koushi reached for the towel again. “Never mind.”

“I’m not gonna let you continuously put yourself down, Daichi. I’m going to make sure you know how amazing you are until I’m blue in the face. I didn’t let Asahi do it, and I’m damn sure not gonna let you,” Koushi said. “Consider me your designated motivational speaker – free of charge. And if Iwaizumi can’t see how awesome you are then it’s his loss. Besides, you remember that pact we made our third year of high school, right?”

“The one where we promised to marry each other if we weren’t taken by 30?”

“That’s the one. So, if all else fails you still have me and my rapier wit to look forward to.”

“I clearly wasn’t thinking.”

Koushi landed a light punch to Daichi’s arm. “Hey!”

Daichi grinned, rubbing his arm, and the two fell into an easy silence, a silence only disturbed by the hum of the TV and a rumble of thunder that shook the clouds above. The sky was darker now, a muddled, sticky violet and the rain was whispering along the windowpanes now, a hopeful end to the storm, but Koushi and Daichi had lived in Tokyo long enough to know this was only an intermission. It was never hard being around Daichi, being able to just sit and exist in each other’s space, speaking without needing words, breathing for the other when one was suffocating, providing warmth when the other had ice coating their veins. Being the rock when the other was crumbling.

And Koushi couldn’t ignore the tightness in Daichi’s shoulders, the distance in his eyes, like his mind was somewhere else entirely but tried being here and there with tireless effort. There was the wrinkle in his brow that never truly went away. Which proved that Iwaizumi’s reaction to hearing about Oikawa was the only thing weighing him down.

“You gonna be okay this week?” Koushi asked.

Daichi looked at him, confusion on his face, but the twitch of his fingers was all Koushi needed. “What’re you talking about? Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Just know you can text me if you need anything.”

Daichi chuckled, shaking his head. “This is why everyone called you Mother Hen in high school, Suga.”

“Kept your crazy asses alive though, didn’t I?”

“That you did.” Daichi then put his hand on Koushi’s shoulder, smiling now, and gave a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t worry, Suga – I’ll be fine. It’s just a week. There’s no fighting anymore so it should be relatively peaceful. And Dad always goes overseas for the holidays anyway, which I can’t afford, so.” He shrugged.

Daichi’s mother, after 25 years of marriage to her husband and raising their only son from paycheck to paycheck until they were on their feet, suddenly decided that she wasn’t happy anymore, packed her bags, and left. No note. No explanation. Just a text message sent to Daichi that said, “I love you.” Daichi hadn’t found out about it until that winter break when finals were over, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t saw it coming. His parents had been fighting for years, worsening as time went on, increasing in volume when they thought Daichi was sleeping. And now that she was gone, this would be the first year to adjust to the calm, the second Christmas spent with her absent. And, his dad being his dad, wanted to deal with this alone despite Daichi insisting that he didn’t have to.

Koushi didn’t have to ask how the conversation went because the utter defeat chipping away at the light in Daichi’s smile was all he needed to see. They spent the entire night just watching cheesy romance and scary movies and tossing popcorn at each other. They both fell asleep on the couch that night, Daichi with red-rimmed eyes and his head in Koushi’s lap, and Koushi with his arm supporting his head up and his hand threaded through Daichi’s hair. It was peaceful, unspoken words left to the wind, and that was it.

“Anyway, I’d better go,” Daichi said, stretching out his arms and the knots in his shoulders. “Gotta pack.”

“Knew you hadn’t done it yet,” Koushi quipped.

“Sue me.”

They walked out to the living room, the movie still going but Oikawa was out like a light, the pillow held tight to his chest as he curled into himself, expression serene in slumber.

“You gonna be all right?” Daichi grabbed his backpack and jacket. 

“I’ll be just fine. Oikawa’s harmless, you saw it yourself,” Koushi said. “Iwaizumi’s on his way so it’s not like I’ll be alone for very long. I can take care of myself, you know.”

“Yes, but I just –”

“Worry. Trust me, I know.”

Daichi rolled his eyes and slid on his shoes.

“Be careful going home. Stranger danger. Hugs not drugs.” Koushi followed him to the door.

“Yes, yes, of course.” Daichi hugged him then, firm, the “I’ll miss you” loud and clear, and Koushi hugged him back. He grinned when they parted. “I’ll see you in a week.”

“Have fun. Be careful.” 

“Yes, Mom. Thanks for dinner.” Daichi headed out into the lulling storm, and Koushi waited until he was out of sight before shutting the door.

When he came back to the sight of Oikawa, Koushi wondered briefly if he should wake him and show him to the guest room. But the shifter looked far too at peace, far too comfortable after spending however long he did on the streets – cold, tired, hungry – for Koushi to disturb him. So, he brought a blanket from the hall closet and draped it over Oikawa before calling it a night.

This was one hell of a way to start the winter break.

 

_He was afraid._

_So very afraid._

_He didn’t know where he was._

_There were too many unfamiliar smells – stagnant water, a stench that seemed to creep from the walls, the lingering scent of the van – and sounds – dripping water, hushed voices, the overwhelming weight of the silence around him. But it was dark. It clawed at him, suffocated him, and he cried out, long and loud._

_For Iwa-chan. For Iwa-chan’s parents. For someone. Anyone._

_He cried until his throat burned and his chest ached._

_And then the door opened._

Tooru woke up.

There were so many unfamiliar smells and sounds – the steady tick of the clock hanging on the wall, the oolong tea and yakisoba he tried, their trace still lingering in the air and on his tongue, the faucet dripping slowly into the sink, the strawberry soap he used to scrub himself clean, a hint of citrus laced within the fibers of the clothes he was wearing now instead of the soaked, dirt-ridden clothes he was wearing before. The honks, screeching tires, sirens, bright lights of traffic, and the roar of airplanes outside the window was ingrained into him after spending what seemed like countless nights and days facing what at first terrified him. He knew the hum of smaller machines, the clacks of the keyboard behind his blindfold, but he hadn’t seen much outside of the Darkness – it was encompassing, hungry, greedy.

It was all he knew.

In this world, he was still afraid. Afraid of the humans that milled about him. Of the faces he didn’t recognize. He didn’t know who could be trusted. Who was safe. He didn’t know where he was. He had never been to this place before with its looming buildings and fast cars and large buses. This was all different, one of those being the light. He was surrounded by it, woke up to it, warming his milky skin pleasantly and leaving no room for the Darkness.

Oh, and then there was Sugawara.

_Suga._

Suga was kind of like the light, with his shiny hair that also smelled faintly of the same strawberry shampoo with a twinge of sweetness melding with it. But he also smelled like rain, it clung to his clothes and skin comfortingly, and even though Tooru had spent all day wet and cold, he decided he liked the rain. It was nice.

Nice like Suga.

Tooru sat up, taking in the place around him. It was quiet and still, save for the sounds of traffic making his visible wolf ears twitch, as gentle, cloudy light pouring in from the windows, and Tooru figured that Suga must still be asleep. He slipped from under the soft blue blanket draped over him, stretching out his limbs, and stared at the dark TV, remembering the movie that was playing just before he fell asleep. He remembered how the ice cracked underneath their feet, threatening to swallow the three men whole. He remembered the giant balls of ice falling from the sky. And while it was terrifying, he was intrigued and wanted to see more.

But that’s not what had been holding his interest since he first walked into this… what was it called? Apartment? Yeah, that sounded right. Suga called it an apartment. Suga lived in an apartment. Suga also had a brightly colored fish – white and orange and so _pretty_ – swimming around in a glass bowl with plants and different colored tiny rocks at the bottom.

Tooru crouched in front of it, watching it glide through water, his tail swaying back and forth in interest. He knew this creature was called a fish, and fish lived in water to survive, but he wanted to know what kind of fish it was. And in fact, he knew what a lot of things were – fruits, colors, shapes, some foods. Well, he knew whatever he was allowed to know. Which, probably by more reasonable standards, wasn’t very much. But he was curious to know more, to learn. He had had a pleasant experience with the tea and yakisoba Suga and Daichi talked about. 

Daichi was also very nice, just like Suga said, even if he did look scary at first because of the strong aura he emitted. He smelled differently than Suga, like damp earth and apple shampoo, even though the thunderstorm stuck to his skin and clothes, too. And after spending time around the man, after seeing him smile and hearing him talk, he decided he liked Daichi.

He liked them both.

Iwa-chan was coming because of them. He was coming to see Tooru because they called him.

And that made Tooru very happy.

That was the one thing he clung to when he was in the Darkness. He clung to the memories, the times when the sun was shining on his face, the times when he was standing in the stream and the cool water raced between his toes. He remembered scraped knees and high-pitched laughter, Godzilla Band-Aids, and bugs in jars. Tooru could never remember what kind they were, but Iwaizumi always knew. And as much as their spindly legs and paper-thin wings freaked him out, he always tagged along on those humid mornings, running through puddles, feet sinking into the damp earth, tripping over tree roots and getting covered in dirt and grass, Iwa-chan’s megawatt grin.

He held onto those, held on for dear life as everything else slipped away – his hometown were only bursts of color at this point surrounded by the heat of summer and a long, snowy winter. He forgot what his bedroom looked like or how many rooms were in his house to begin with. He forgot the color of his house and the street it was built on. He forgot his parents’ already blurred faces, their names, his mother’s kisses, his father’s hugs, their time spent together bleeding away into nothing, into the black he came to know so well.

But it wasn’t dark anymore. It was bright and warm and, well, not necessarily dry because he got caught in the rain over the past couple of days with his only shelter being a small gap under a bridge that he could only fit in if he shifted into a wolf completely. Not to mention he had to dig around in trash cans behind stores and restaurants for food, and there were plenty of times he didn’t eat at all. His skin itched from the dirt, from the sweat, and burned lightly from the scratches he branded fighting off stray cats for his next meal. He was fine now, but he didn’t too much appreciate the gesture from territorial cats. He knew some of them were shifters, much like himself, the chemical balance in their scent giving it away, but there were too many cats and the muggy weight of the rain didn’t help him pick out which ones were. That was one piece of leftover steak he had to give up.

Suga fed him. Gave him food, clothes. Let him sleep in his apartment and watch TV, something he hadn’t done in years. And he forgot what it was like to see those colorful pictures dancing across the screen to tell a story. Suga also accepted him when he found he was a shifter. Suga didn’t run or hide or get angry and tell him to get out. Not all humans were bad, not like Tooru had been told.

And Suga definitely wasn’t like the other humans he’d known all this time. The ones who threw him in and out of the Darkness.

His ears flitted when another clap of thunder reeled overhead but his eyes stayed trained on the fish, and he touched his fingers to the cold glass.

“His name is Ebi.”

Tooru straightened, jumping to his feet to find Suga standing there with that same tender smile he wore yesterday. Tooru liked that smile.

“Good morning,” Suga said.

Tooru listened to those words, ruminated on them, took in their meaning. It was morning, and he woke up warm and dry and with a full stomach. Yes, he supposed it was a good morning. “Good morning,” he said. Those words felt foreign on his tongue. He was sure he’d said those words before, when he was smaller and in the light, but… it’d been so long. His ears folded back.

Suga came over, the strawberry scent growing stronger as he drew nearer and looked into the fishbowl. “You can look at him if you want. I don’t mind.”

Tooru hesitated, searching for any sort of lie in Suga’s eyes, his expression, a spike in his scent to indicate otherwise, and turned back to the fish. “Pretty,” he said.

“Thank you.” Suga picked up a small, yellow cylindrical container with the picture of a fish under some kanji and screwed off the cap to sprinkle some red flakes into the water that Ebi immediately swam up to and ate. “He’s a jikin goldfish. Daichi got him for me last year on my birthday.”

“Daichi,” Tooru repeated. Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t hear anyone else in the apartment, couldn’t smell the telltale damp earth. “Where…?”

“Oh, he left last night after you fell asleep. He’s going home to visit his dad this weekend.”

Home.

Tooru wondered what that word felt like.

“Are you hungry, Oikawa-san?” Suga asked. “I can make breakfast.”

Tooru thought about it and nodded when he felt the familiar but less severe grumble in his stomach. Breakfast was good, and he liked the food Suga made last night. Maybe this would be good, too. “And tea?” Tooru asked.

Suga laughed, and it fell airy and soothing on Tooru’s ears. “Of course! I’d be happy to make you some.” He went to the kitchen and Tooru followed. “Did you wanna try French toast? It’s pretty good.”

Tooru tilted his head. That sounded interesting. “Okay.”

“Wanna help me make it?”

Tooru’s tail waved behind him, low and against his legs as he nodded. He liked that idea, too.

He watched Suga fill the same metal container with water – a kettle, Suga had said – and put it on the stove so it could boil. Then Suga pushed some buttons on a tiny appliance on the counter. A coffeemaker, he’d been told. And when Tooru asked what coffee was, Suga said that it was like water, but a lot darker and more bitter because it was made with coffee beans instead of leaves. “Bean water,” Suga called it with a touch of defeat in his tone, that people sometimes sweetened with milk, cream, honey or whatever else they wanted because they don’t like bitter drinks.

He watched as the coffeemaker filled the mug, the smell of it soaking the air, while Suga prepared Tooru’s own mug of tea, and Tooru eyed the steam rising from the dark liquid. Suga picked up the mug and held it out. “Wanna try it?”

Tooru stared at it, glancing back and forth between the drink and Suga’s still sleep-riddled eyes and took the mug, the heat causing him to only hold it at the handle instead of in both hands. He carefully put it to his lips, the already intoxicating smell becoming even stronger, enveloping his senses, and he let it coat his tongue. Which, in turn, once the heat and sharp bitterness set in, Tooru handed the cup back to Suga, tongue sticking out and nose scrunched in disdain. That was awful, he did not like that _at all._

Suga laughed. “Guess that’s a big no on black coffee.” He drank some, and Tooru wondered how he could stomach it. “Don’t worry, it’s not for everyone. You can add other stuff to sweeten it, like I mentioned earlier, and there’s still different flavors you can try, just like tea, so if you still want to give it a shot later then you can.”

Tooru drank his tea to wash the taste away. He doubted that.

“Anyway, let’s make us some French toast.” Suga grabbed the carton of eggs, the gallon of milk, a stick of butter from the refrigerator, and two more items from the pantry. Cinnamon and vanilla extract, Suga explained. He also pulled out a bowl and a fork, cracked an egg on the side of it, and Tooru watched it slip into the bowl. The vanilla and cinnamon went in next, and Suga beat it with the fork until it was finely mixed. “Oikawa-san, do you mind pouring some milk into the measuring cup for me? Fill it to the ¼ mark.”

Tooru looked at the two items, more specifically the numbers printed on the sides of the cup. He could do this much. He knew numbers. One-fourth. One. Four. Just look for those two together. Ears flat and tail still, Tooru poured some milk up to the ¼ line, which wasn’t very much at all, and bit his lip when it went a little over. It wasn’t much, but Tooru couldn’t help the pit worming its way into his stomach. He messed up. Would Suga be mad at him? Make him leave? Send him out into the freezing rain? He didn’t… he didn’t want to leave. Even though he’d only been here one night… he liked being here.

Before, when he’d mess up –

“Oikawa-san?”

Oh no, Suga was looking at him now. It was only a matter of time before he’d notice and Tooru would have to leave.

“You okay?” Suga asked. “What’s the matter?”

Tooru shuffled on his feet, ears down, his tail swaying from side to side in his upset. “Um…” he glanced at Suga. “I-I, uh, poured… too much.”

“Hm?” Suga looked at the measurement, and Tooru didn’t know if he’d be able to handle the anger. But when Suga actually did smile, sweet and reassuring, Tooru couldn’t help but be confused. “It’s just a little over, it won’t ruin the whole thing. And even if it had been too much, we could easily use the amount we need and drink the rest. I promise, it’s nothing to worry about, Oikawa-san.”

Suga… Suga wasn’t mad at him? He made a mistake… and it was okay? 

Tooru moved slowly and poured the milk into the mixture, careful not to spill, and Suga stirred it some more and then asked Tooru to put a slice of bread into the bowl. Tooru didn’t really understand the logistics of it, but the smells were starting to come together and he felt his interest pique and his mouth water.  
Suga cooked about ten slices of French toast, setting three on a plate for each of them for now and set it in the same spots they sat in the last night along with a bottle of syrup. It was dark, much like the coffee Suga was drinking, but it was thick and smelled ten times sweeter. Tooru wasn’t quite sure what to do next, his hands wringing into the hem of his borrowed shirt again, as he waited for Suga to tell him.

“You can pour syrup on it if you want,” Suga said. “It’s really sweet, but I always loved having this for breakfast as a kid. Still do.” He poured a generous amount atop his stack and placed the syrup next to Tooru’s plate. “There you go. See how you like it.”

Tooru followed Suga’s example and watched how Suga cut into the slices with a fork and then cut into those pieces to make them even smaller, so he did the same. He sniffed at it once he brought it to his mouth, practically tasting the sugar and cinnamon blended together, and once he received an encouraging nod from Suga he took a bite. His eyes widened, syrup smearing at the corners of his mouth, and he proceeded to inhale every bit of it. Yeah, this was definitely better than that coffee stuff.

Suga chuckled. “Careful, you might get a stomachache if you eat too fast.”

Tooru swallowed the last piece of his second slice. He had to remember that he wasn’t in the Darkness anymore. He could eat comfortably without having to worry about it being taken if he wasn’t done in enough time. He was safe here, Suga had said so. But…

Suga’s phone chimed next to his plate, and Tooru merely observed as Suga effortlessly used it and touch the screen even where there were no actual buttons to press. He thought he’d seen something like that, except it was bigger and squarer, in the rooms that were too bright, too clean, and reeked of sterility, and…

Tooru pushed a wedge of toast around the syrup lake in his plate. He didn’t need to think about that right now. He was out of there and that’s all that mattered.

“Guess what, Oikawa-san.” Suga’s voice dragged him from his thoughts. “Iwaizumi’s almost here.”

Tooru perked up, ears standing upright. “Really?”

“Yup! He’s about 45 minutes outside of Tokyo. He’ll be here before you know it.”

And Tooru’s tail wagged harder than it had in a long time.

Breakfast was finished relatively quickly after that, not a crumb left on their plates or a drop in their mugs, and Suga left the dishes to soak in the sink with a promise to himself that he’d do them later since he wanted to relax for now. The sky was still grey, only bright from the early morning sun, and the rain seemed to have stopped for now. Tooru silently followed Suga out of the kitchen until the latter plopped on the couch and plucked a book off the coffee table. Tooru fidgeted, unsure of what he could do, until Suga picked up the TV remote.

“Did you wanna finish the movie last night? You seemed pretty interested in it.”

Tooru nodded, and Suga scooted over on the couch to make room for him, who inched over and took the offered seat. Suga turned on the TV and the DVD player and the movie played from the last spot Tooru remembered – the plane the main characters were on riding through weather turbulence. He wasn’t sure he ever wanted to ride on a plane. They were loud and huge and how were they able to stay in the air like that? He grabbed a pillow, the same pillow he slept with last night, and it smelled so strongly of the home that was built here. He glanced over to the book that Suga was reading, skimming over the title written mostly in kanji before turning his attention back to the television.

“Does that happen to all planes?” Tooru found himself asking out loud.

“Hm?” Suga looked up from his book to the screen as the plane shook. “Oh, no, definitely not. It happens when weather gets really, really bad but the pilots are trained to deal with that sort of thing so it’s fine.”

Tooru nodded, accepting this.

He still wasn’t sure if he wanted to ride on a plane.

But as the movie carried on, as Tooru watched tornadoes devastate Los Angeles, he wondered what Iwaizumi would be like now. Iwaizumi was always strong, even when they were kids, and Tooru figured that he’d be the same but taller. Iwaizumi always smelled like the outdoors – pine trees, sunshine, and the clear water of the stream they played in. He was always warm, his hands, his face, his voice, even when he was scolding Tooru it never lost that softer edge to it. And Tooru couldn’t help but ask if Iwaizumi still knew things about him, too.

Suga’s phone chimed again, and Tooru’s attention was immediately on the door just as there was a knock. Both Suga and Tooru rose to their feet, Tooru waiting as Suga went to answer it, and when he heard it he didn’t know how to respond.

“Iwaizumi-san, glad you made it safely,” Suga said.

“I told you, Suga – you can drop the ‘san’,” came that warm voice. That warm, warm voice. The voice that sent all his childhood fears running for the hills. “Where…?”

“He’s right over here.”

Footsteps muffled by sock clad feet. Two different types of breathing – one rapid, one steady. Tooru could’ve moved, but he stayed rooted to the spot, hands tightening, ears down, tail flicking side to side. And when he walked into the room, footsteps coming to a halt, Tooru couldn’t breathe. Everything was quiet, his senses on overdrive. He was there, in the flesh, tall and strong and bringing even more light, more air with him. And when Iwaizumi smiled at him…

“Iwa-chan…” Tooru managed to choke out.

“Hey… Oikawa…”

Tooru edged forward, afraid if he moved too fast Iwaizumi would disappear, this all would disappear and he’d wake up in the Darkness again, cold and alone. But no. That wasn’t what happened. Even when Iwaizumi put his now much larger hands on Tooru’s thin shoulders, on Tooru’s face, he didn’t disappear. He was there, his grip rooting him to the cool hardwood beneath his bruised feet. And when he was finally pulled close, could finally be immersed in the scent of pine needles, sunshine, the water of a shallow stream, and now the leftover whisper of the overnight rainstorm, could _feel_ the strong muscles that weren’t there all those years ago, could _hear_ the thundering heartbeat in a sturdy chest.

It was real. He was here.

His best friend.

He was…

“Iwa –”

“You idiot.” Iwaizumi’s voice cracked, low, fighting past the obvious lump in his throat. His hold around Tooru tightened, and Tooru didn’t mind in the slightest. “I was so worried about you. Where did you go? Where did they take you?”

Tooru’s vision blurred.

And he didn’t know how long he cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy with the response I received on the first chapter and I'm very glad to know there are people interested in this concept! I'm very excited to write this so I'm hoping to go far with it. Thank you everyone for the comments and kudos! You're all very much appreciated <3
> 
> Also The Day After Tomorrow is one of my favorite movies and I'm not afraid to admit it.


	3. back to the earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now Koushi knew that flicker behind Iwaizumi’s eyes, behind his smile. He couldn’t imagine burying that for the last 15 years.

Koushi watched as Iwaizumi carded his fingers through Oikawa’s hair, the shifter resting his head in Iwaizumi’s lap as he slept soundly, his wolf ears twitching when brushed against. Oikawa’s hands were fisted tight into Iwaizumi’s hoodie but he otherwise looked at peace. Iwaizumi on the other hand had looked better – the dark purple bags under his steely hazel eyes and glassy gaze made Koushi wonder what time the man rolled out of bed to haul ass over here. They were red-rimmed and a touch swollen from crying, and Koushi had been around Iwaizumi long enough to know that he hated crying in front of other people, and crying in general, so Koushi could tell that this reunion was extremely important. Important enough for Iwaizumi to tear his walls down and fall apart. Iwaizumi had his best friend by his side again after who knows how long.

Two tea cups were steaming on the table in front of them, both still filled to the top and growing colder by the second. Iwaizumi didn’t exactly ask for a cup but he didn’t decline when offered. Koushi couldn’t drink his either. He wanted to know what was going on, to ask questions, to get answers, but this was a special moment and who was he to pry?

“You’ve got questions,” Iwaizumi said.

“I’d be lying if I said no.” Koushi watched as walls of water decimated New York City on the screen. “But you don’t have to tell me anything. I understand if you wanna keep this under wraps.”

“I think you have a right to know, considering how Oikawa just showed up on your doorstep.” He chuckled, dry and tired. “What’re the odds, huh? That he winds up on the doorstep of one of my closest friends.”

“One in 13 million.”

“Exactly. And I’m just glad you found him – or, well, _he_ found _you_ – and not anyone else.” Iwaizumi looked at Koushi. “But I also wanna tell you because I trust you. I believe you’re a good person.”

“You guys flatter me too much.”

“We’re being honest.” Iwaizumi’s eyes fell on Oikawa’s sleeping face. “You could’ve easily kicked him out or called the police. But you didn’t. And I can’t thank you enough for that.”

“It was honestly no problem.”

Iwaizumi fell silent, examining Oikawa’s face as he slept, over the places that were splotched with dirt just yesterday. “When we were kids, he was made fun of a lot for being a shifter. He always had a hard time controlling when he should and shouldn’t shift, as I’m sure you’ve seen. His parents died when he was three in a car accident so he never had anyone to teach him. And my entire family is human so we couldn’t do it, even after we took him in. But we did our best.”

Koushi just listened.

“He was a happy kid, outgoing. Whined a lot, but we always stuck together. Through thick and thin, we were there for each other just as we had been except now he slept in the bed across from me and we ate every meal together.” A smile played at Iwaizumi’s lips. “To be honest, it was kind of like having the annoying younger brother you can’t help but love.”

Koushi knew that feeling well. Growing up with five younger siblings had ground patience into him until it was part of his DNA.

“Everything was great for about five years or so. But I don’t know what happened. We were playing in the park on March 17th – St. Patrick’s Day, I’ll never forget it. We had gone to the parade our town was holding and we were so excited. I was playing in the sandbox trying to make something and Oikawa was off trying to find us four-leaf clovers. One minute and the next he’s yelling and being pulled into a black van.”

Koushi felt his breakfast churn in his stomach.

“I followed that van. I followed that goddamn van on my bike until I caught a pothole and fell.” Iwaizumi sighed, eyes clouding with memories and possibly fresh tears. “I never stopped looking. Even when everyone else stopped, even when the police said that he was probably…” he cleared his throat. “I kept looking. And for him to just turn up like this, it’s nothing short of a miracle.”

Koushi couldn’t even begin to imagine what that was like, being eight years old and watching his best friend – _Daichi_ – kidnapped right before his eyes. Hopping onto his bike and pedaling as fast as he could, legs and lungs burning. Tumbling to the pavement when the bike fell out from under him, cuts and scrapes littering his hands and knees. Going home and telling his parents that his best friend was taken. Searching day and night – for days, weeks, years. To find nothing. Living with that guilt.  
And now Koushi knew that flicker behind Iwaizumi’s eyes, behind his smile. He couldn’t imagine burying that for the last 15 years.

“Have you been able to find any leads on who took him?” Koushi asked.

Iwaizumi shook his head. “No. There are way too many black vans in Japan to even begin to count, and it didn’t have a license plate so the police couldn’t track it that way. I just remember the small symbol on the back door – a white lotus. Of course, that wasn’t enough information to go on.”

“A white lotus? That’s random.”

“Yeah, but I think it means something more than just being a car detail.”

“I think you’re right.” 

“There’s a sketchbook in my backpack. I can show you what it looks like. Do you mind grabbing it?”

Koushi shuffled over to the bag, digging it out from behind some other sketchbooks and a textbook that had something to do with architecture in Spain. He handed it over, and Iwaizumi flipped through the pages until he was in the middle of the sketchbook, holding it up for Koushi to see. The picture was intricately drawn with charcoal pencil even with its simple shapes and strokes, and while it wasn’t colored or something taken from still-life, that was very much a lotus on the page.

“It looked like that, except the petals were outlined in white instead of black,” Iwaizumi said.

Koushi hummed in thought. “I’ve never seen that before.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think you had. No one has. But it’s something that I've held onto hoping it would lead me _somewher_ even if it was just a dead-end. I'd take that over nothing.”

Iwaizumi was right. A lotus detail wasn’t much to go on unless they searched every van in the country. Koushi would make sure to keep an eye out for it though. These people probably already knew that Oikawa was missing, and they were probably looking everywhere for him. Which meant they probably knew who Iwaizumi was if they were able to locate him once. And they wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.

Koushi would protect them with everything he had.

Iwaizumi sighed, closing his sketchbook and leaning his head against the back of the couch. “How have you been, Suga? Haven’t seen you since the start of finals.”

“School’s been kicking my ass – what else is new?” Koushi chuckled. “And you?”

Iwaizumi smiled, lethargic. “Architecture sucks.”

“You’re exhausted.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“You only look like you’re two seconds from passing out.”

“That drive was longer than I thought.” Iwaizumi rubbed his eyes. “Doesn’t help that my mom and dad kept interrogating me. I wanted to tell them, I really did, but would they believe me? after all this time, would they believe their adopted son suddenly reappeared after 15 years? And what if it wasn’t him? What if…?” he trailed off, threading his fingers through Oikawa’s hair again.

“You should get some rest,” Koushi said.

“Are you sure? I can go back to my place.”

“You’re not getting back behind the wheel until you’ve gotten at least four hours. You’re running on fumes and you know it. Get some sleep. I’ll get you a blanket.”

“Thanks, Suga.”

Koushi smiled as Iwaizumi closed his eyes, brought some blankets to cover them, and quietly milled about the apartment as they slept. He drained the cold water from last night’s forgotten dishes and scrubbed them clean with fresh soap and hot water, leaving them to air dry before taking his phone from the coffee table, turning off the TV and heading to his room with the book he was reading earlier. It was a required text for one of his classes, a superfluous text on human and shapeshifter behavior that bogged his mind down more than anything, but he needed to get a jump on this thesis and _stop procrastinating._ Though, going back to bed sounded a hell of a lot more appealing.  
He plopped on the bed, and his phone vibrated in his hand, the screen lighting up with Daichi’s name.

**From: Dadchi**  
To: Suga and Spice  
Hey how’s everything going? 

 

**To: Dadchi**  
From: Suga and Spice  
Everything’s fine! Iwaizumi’s here and he fell asleep with Oikawa 

 

**From: Dadchi  
Good I’m glad to hear that**

**From: Dadchi  
I’m about to get on the train. They’re ahead of schedule**

**From: Dadchi  
I hate trains**

 

**From: Suga and Spice  
That’s just because you get motion sick too easily lol remember that time on the plane?**

 

**From: Dadchi  
SHUT UP**

 

Koushi laughed, loud and boisterous, until he covered his mouth with his hand to muffle the noise when he remembered that Oikawa and Iwaizumi were asleep in just the next room. He closed out the messaging app while waiting for Daichi’s reply and opted to check his school email. He was supposed to be hearing back from one of his professors about a paper before the break started but that’s not what was flooding his inbox right now. He scrolled through the first couple of emails, marking them as read and sighing at the repetitiveness and still incoming messages. Koushi huffed when another came in, turned his phone on silent, placed it on the nightstand and pulled the pillow over his head. Maybe if he ignored it they would stop.

He closed his eyes, assigned reading forgotten, and let out a deep breath –

_Knock, knock, knock._

Oh, for the love of…

Koushi didn’t move, willing whoever it was to go away.

But of course, that didn’t happen.

Knocking.

More knocking.

_“Sugawara!”_

Koushi lifted his head. Oh no. No, no, no, no!

The knocking grew louder as Koushi scrambled out of bed, hurrying down the hall, and made sure Iwaizumi and Oikawa were still fast asleep as he went to the door and tore it open.

“Suga – oh, hey!”

“What’re you doing here?” Koushi demanded.

“Come now, is that any way to greet a friend?” the man beamed, pearly white teeth on full display, and fixed his glasses.

“With all due respect, Akagi- _sensei,_ you’re my professor.”

Akagi Satoru kept his smile, his hazel eyes sharp. “I know that. But I figured since I was already on this side of town and going to the café and you just happen to live nearby, it didn’t hurt to invite. And since you weren’t responding to my emails, I thought I’d come on over.”

Koushi gnawed on the inside of his cheek. Akagi was young, not much older than Koushi with crisp, new doctorate degree in psychology and plans to start his own practice. He was everything Koushi aspired to be. And Koushi sought his help with writing his thesis and how he went about acquiring his doctorate so young. Akagi was just leaving his office, so he invited Koushi out for coffee. And Koushi, stressed, frustrated, and running on three hours of sleep, agreed. And Koushi would be lying if he said he didn’t find Akagi attractive. Hell, half the class was swooning over him. But why he took a special interest in Koushi was beyond him.

“You can’t just come by unannounced like this, it doesn’t work that way,” Koushi said.

“Why? You’ve got company?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. And while I appreciate the notion, you’re still my teacher and I’m still your student. This can’t continue.”

Akagi grinned. “Oh, come on. What’s the harm in getting a cup of coffee together? It’s not like we haven’t done it before. Besides, we can talk some more about your thesis. You still haven’t started it yet, right?” 

“…no, I haven’t.”

“I promise, just coffee and we can talk about your thesis. Please?” he wasn’t whispering in the slightest.

“Shh!” Koushi looked over his shoulder, listening for any sounds echoing in the small apartment, and then ran his hands through his hair. “All right, all right, just keep your voice down. _One_ cup of coffee. Give me a few minutes.”

“Perfect.” Akagi grinned.

“Just wait here.” 

Koushi went back inside, shutting the door and leaning against it with a sigh. He threw on some jeans and a t-shirt, slipping on his jacket and scribbling a message on a note for Iwaizumi in the event he woke up and Koushi wasn’t back yet. Koushi would also be lying if he said that he wouldn’t date Akagi. If they weren’t teacher and student. He and Daichi had a whole conversation about it. About the time that he and Akagi ran into each other in the hall at school, when they immediately hit it off after he realized Koushi was lost and helped him to one of his classes, the invite to lunch later that afternoon, the man’s great sense of humor. And then Koushi walked into behavioral psychology class, only to find Akagi standing up at the front of the room, his name clear under the course title. Koushi met his gaze, his grin, but simply sat down and didn’t make eye contact for the rest of the day.

“Ready?” Akagi said.

Koushi nodded, wrapping his scarf around his neck.

He just needed to get this over with.

 

_The door opened, making him shield his eyes from the bright light burning the Darkness away, and he was being grabbed again by someone so much larger than he was. Cloth was slipped over his eyes – a blindfold – and he was picked up and carried out._

_He kicked. He kicked and screamed and scratched and bit until one person was holding his arms and another was holding his legs._

_He was scared._

_He was so scared._

_Where were they taking him?_

_Where was Iwa-chan?_

He smelled pine needles. And sunshine. The bubble of a clear stream. A hint of laundry detergent.

Tooru opened his eyes, blinking, adjusting to the cloud-dappled light teeming from the slightly open curtains. His face was buried in an olive colored jacket, his hand fisted in it, and when he looked up to see the now much taller and broader Iwaizumi fast asleep, an Iwaizumi full of sharp angles and muscle instead of round cheeks and missing baby teeth, his head resting on the arm of the couch, Tooru couldn’t help the warm relief flooding over him. He let it crash over him, into him, through him. Let it wrap him in his waters. He leaned up, closer to Iwaizumi’s chest, and closed his eyes.

_Ba-dump… ba-dump… ba-dump…_

So strong.

So… so…

Tooru smiled at this. At the fact that this wasn’t one of the many dreams he’d had lying in the Darkness only to be yanked away from the bit of serenity he managed to create. At the reality that surrounded him, that enveloped him lovingly, tenderly, like maybe his parents did at one point. He didn’t really remember them, their blurred faces washing away like water being thrown on a still wet canvas. He often wondered what they were like, if they were fun-loving or strict. If they liked to tell a lot of jokes or read him bedtime stories to lull him into a peaceful land of his own creation. Did he look more like his mother, more like his father, or both? What if he didn't look like either of them? Maybe Iwa-chan knew.

This would take some getting used to, waking up to familiar, more pleasant scents than stagnant water or sterility, and Tooru could readily admit that he didn’t exactly like change. But this was a change he would easily accept with open arms.

He sat up, being careful not to disturb Iwaizumi and looked around, expecting to see strands of silver hair glistening in the sunlight, a smile that stretched from ear to ear. He listened for the soft pad of sock clad feet brushing against the hardwood floor, sniffed the air for that waft of strawberry shampoo with that trace of underlying sweetness, but none of that came.

Suga wasn’t here.

And on the coffee table, in an almost blinding green, was a sticky note scrawled with a message. Tooru scanned over the characters and assumed Suga must’ve written it on his way out to… wherever he went. The apartment was quiet, empty in a different sense, without Suga there. Tooru couldn’t explain it. He was glad to have Iwaizumi there, very glad in fact, but he wanted Suga to tell him more about his jikin goldfish named Ebi, and he wanted to help him make more interesting food.

Tooru’s attention rested on the pictures placed on the end table. He smiled when he immediately recognized Suga and Daichi in one, dressed in spring clothes and surrounded by nature bearing wide smiles with flushed cheeks from the obvious heat, just as his eyes moved to the next picture of a group of people dressed in orange and black with various numbers on their shirts, all different, yet one, clear cohesive unit as they smiled at the camera with telltale sweat still gleaming on their faces. Tooru picked Suga and Daichi from the crowd here too, and a number of questions arose as he looked at the others in the picture. They were exhausted, that much was clear, but also incredibly _happy._ Where were they? What were they doing? Why were there numbers on their shirts and why were they wearing orange and black?

And Tooru felt that happiness, too. 

The third and last picture was of Suga, but he was surrounded by people who looked similar to him. There were four children, three boys and one girls who were all clambering for a place to grab onto Suga. All three boys had dark mops of hair, the total opposite of Suga, and it was clear it came from the older man in the picture. Suga and the little girl in the picture were the only ones who had that fascinating shade of silver like the older woman who was smiling fondly at all of them.

Father. Mother.

Brothers. Sisters.

Family.

This was Suga’s family.

A… beautiful family.

Tooru liked to think that he had a nice family. Parents who loved him, maybe even an older brother or sister to tease him. Well, he did have parents at one point but he didn’t remember what happened to them. They were there one day, and the next they weren’t. It was sad, yes, and there was always a twinge in his heart whenever he thought about them. And even though he didn’t remember them, somewhere, deep in his subconscious, his parents rested there. Alive there if they couldn’t be alive here. 

He sat in front of the fishbowl, watching Ebi skim around in the water as his tail swished behind him, his ears twitching when it caught the caw of a bird or screeching tires. There was a rustle on the couch, and Tooru looked through the water at Iwaizumi’s distorted figure moving in its ripples, settling, only to sit right up again, back ramrod straight, his gaze flitting around the room. He sighed when his eyes rested on Tooru, the concern leaking from his furrowed brow and shoulders.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Iwaizumi asked.

Tooru peered at him from over the fishbowl, shrugging. “You were sleeping. Iwa-chan’s tired, so…”

Iwaizumi stretched, turning his torso from side to side and his back released satisfying clicks. “Well, no doubt about that. How long have you been awake?” 

“Not long.”

Iwaizumi leaned forward on the couch and rubbed his face, his eyes catching sight of the lime green sticky note stuck to the coffee table. He plucked it off, scanned the writing, and put it back down, making Tooru wonder what it said. “Huh, Suga went out for coffee with a friend. He said he should be back within the hour and that we can help ourselves to whatever.”

Tooru nodded, that answer suffice, and then remembered the overwhelming bitterness of the coffee Suga let him try at breakfast. He still couldn’t believe people willingly drank that stuff. Maybe he’d try it with milk and cream like Suga suggested, but for now he’d stick with the amber colored tea. What was it called again? Oolong tea? Is that what Suga said? Yeah, that’s it.

He went back over to the couch, snuggling into Iwaizumi’s side, resting his head on the other’s shoulder, hiding his face in the crook of his neck, reveling in the shared warmth as Iwaizumi carded his fingers through his hair again. Though it was a little harder to stretch out on the couch because they were older and taller, this was something they always did as kids. It always made Tooru feel safe. Like nothing could touch him. Nothing could get him here. No people in black vans could swipe him from out in the open.

He was safe here. Like Suga said. Like all that Iwaizumi was.

“You’re shaking. What’s the matter?” Iwaizumi asked, low with worry spilling from his tone.

Tooru shook his head. “Happy.” That word felt foreign on his tongue, in his thoughts, but he repeated it over and over again in his mind until it became second nature. “I’m happy that Iwa-chan’s here. I’m not scared anymore.” He stared at the dark TV. “I was worried… that Iwa-chan wouldn’t find me. I tried looking for you but I couldn’t find you.” His vision blurred, his already tired eyes burned. “Did Iwa-chan look for me, too?”

“Look at me,” Iwaizumi said. “Tooru, look at me.”

Tooru lifted his head. 

Iwaizumi gently held Tooru’s face in his, thumbing away a tear before it could spill. “Of course I did.” His scent was calm, stable, like the pillar he’d always been. “I looked for you, day and night. I never stopped.” Iwaizumi continued to run his fingers through soft, curling strands. “Where did they take you, Oikawa? Who were those people?”

Tooru shook his head again. “I don’t know.” Because he honestly _didn’t know._ He never saw their faces clearly. After spending so much time surrounded in pitch black, the times when he was dragged out and introduced into the light was severely overwhelming. He couldn’t see, and they even blindfolded him to make sure he couldn’t. He’d never forget their voices though. Or what they smelled like. One had a gruff voice – a man – with large, calloused hands that yanked Tooru around with no restraint especially as he grew older. He smelled like smoke, sweat, and aftershave. There was another man, too. This one smaller, leaner, with a smoother, stoic voice and smelled of mouthwash and cheap cologne. 

But when he escaped, when he had dug his way under the barbed fence, the moon was high in the sky, illuminating the trees towering over him. He didn’t know where he was, he just kept running. Hopping over streams and tree roots, sliding down sloped hills until he couldn’t hear their yells to catch him anymore and their shouts were replaced by a blaring horn from the car that almost hit him when he jumped out into the open road.

_“I looked for you, day and night.”_

_“No one wants you.”_

_“I never stopped looking for you.”_

_“No one cares that you’re gone. I bet they’re not even wondering where you’re at.”_

_“Even when everyone else stopped, I kept looking for you.”_

Tooru processed that answer, let it settle pleasantly and warmly in his chest. Iwaizumi never gave up on him. Never considered Tooru to be a burden like the people in the white lab coats told him he was. That he was nothing more than a rarity, a luxury, a prize to be looked upon. He was told that his family didn’t want him anymore. Who would want to take care of a wolf shapeshifter?

“…kawa. Oikawa.”

Tooru blinked away the thoughts, returning to the present.

“Are you okay?”

Tooru nodded. He thought about asking Iwaizumi about his parents, but he was content in this moment. In this stillness. He had Iwaizumi here. And he would wait for Suga to come back. 

He was okay. Now, he was okay.

“Iwa-chan?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we finish watching the movie?”

Iwaizumi chuckled. “Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much happened here, but I still hope you're enjoying! Thank you everyone who has read, commented, and gave kudos! You all are so amazing and I can't express my immense gratitude in a simple author's note! I love you guys <3
> 
> Also I have a tumblr. Hit me up at tenacioustooru!


	4. frequency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa was looking at Koushi now, eyes wide and traced with tears, his hands coming to rest on his knees. The sleeves were a little long on him, so his lithe fingers peeked out from the knuckle down. “Really?” his voice was meek, softer than early morning snow, undulating down.
> 
> Koushi smiled. “Really. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Koushi was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet, turning to look over his shoulder every few minutes. The café was particularly busy today, a steady flow of people moving in and out the door to escape the cold and warm their bodies with something hot and sweet and melt the ice off their skin. Or it was to try the new drink item on the menu. Maybe both. Whatever the reason was, Koushi didn’t exactly care. He was here, on a Saturday, out and about with his _professor_ , in the middle of this crowded café. There were two teenagers chatting animatedly behind him about their winter vacation plans. One was going home to some small town in the Gifu prefecture, one was staying here because her parents were in the United States on business. And again, while Koushi didn’t care, he focused on that rather than the tall, warm body beside him.

He needed to keep his cool. He didn’t recognize anyone from his classes so this was off to a solid start.

“What’re you gonna get, Sugawara? I’m thinking chai tea latte today,” Akagi said.

Koushi sighed. “Coffee. Black.”

“I appreciate your simplicity in beverages.” Akagi smiled.

Koushi reached for his wallet, but Akagi stopped him and said, “My treat since I dragged out here. Find us a seat?”

Koushi nodded. He could use a breather.

“Sugawara-kun? Akagi-sensei?”

Koushi tensed at the melodic voice coming from behind the counter, immediately recognizing the barista as a girl from his class. The same class Akagi taught. Koushi was going to be sick.

“Oh hey, Inoue! Didn’t expect to see you here today. Thought you were going home for the holidays.” Akagi beamed, his tone smooth and light.

Inoue’s cheeks tinted pink, and she twirled a piece of her brown hair around her finger. “Well, I’m pulling a double today so I can have enough money before next Friday. What’re you doing here? With Sugawara-kun?”

Koushi’s mind went through at least a dozen possible answers and imagined even more ways that Inoue would react, but Akagi once again jumped in. “I’m just here to help Sugawara with his thesis. By the way, how’s your paper coming, Inoue? Any progress made from last time we met?”

“Y-Yes!” she squeaked. “I, um, I’m almost done with my research.” She looked at Koushi. “What about you, Sugawara-kun? Have you started it yet?”

Koushi smiled, tight on his face. “Starting it now, actually. Akagi-sensei’s just gonna help me narrow down the focus of my thesis.” He made sure to enunciate every word, dip it in determination and boundaries of their little surprise outing for the duo. “I’m hoping to have it done before the end of February.”

“Awesome!” Inoue chirped. “Well, we should totally get together sometime so we can look over each other’s work. I think it’d be good for the both of us.”

“Sure,” Koushi said. “Sounds great.” He turned to his professor. “I’m gonna find us a table.” And he walked away, not even bothering to hear his answer, and plopped down at a table tucked away in the corner by a window that looked out into the Tokyo masses. He drummed his fingers on the table, the people passing by blurring into a mess of random faces.

He hoped that Iwaizumi and Oikawa were okay. He told them that they could help themselves to whatever was in the kitchen and watch whatever they wanted. Hell, maybe they were still asleep. Emotions were skyrocketing all over the place, it’s only natural that they were exhausted. Which made his mind wander back to the white lotus, Iwaizumi’s sketch, and he imagined a black van with that detail on the back door. He imagined how absolutely terrified Oikawa must’ve been, how terrified he must still be, returning to a world that had continued for 15 years without him. Even in theory, it shook Koushi to his core. And if he was right in his thinking, those people who took Oikawa were definitely out looking for him. So what were they going to do?

Koushi pulled out his phone and opened a message thread.

 

 **To: Dadchi**  
From: Suga and Spice  
**If you see my name on the news don’t worry about it and just send the bail money**

 

The wisest and most obvious choice would be to keep Oikawa off the radar. Keep him on the down low but not cut him off completely from everything. He still needed to experience life, to socialize, to meld into a society he was no longer familiar with. And then there were the living arrangements. 

 

 **From: Dadchi**  
**What’s going on?**

 

 **From: Suga and Spice**  
**Akagi-sensei**

 

Iwaizumi stayed on campus like Daichi – they were right down the hall from each other – with a roommate. Iwaizumi had a roommate. A roommate who hardly left and drove him crazy. So, in an effort to retain his sanity, Iwaizumi would sometimes bunk with Daichi who was luckily paired with a roommate that was hardly ever there. If push came to shove, they could stay with Koushi. He had an extra, unused bedroom, and it wasn’t like he found them to be a burden. He would need to discuss this further with Iwaizumi and –

“Just goes to show that you can never really escape school life no matter how hard you try.” Akagi chuckled as he sat down in the seat across from Koushi and placed a coffee mug in front of him.”

“Well, you’re certainly not wrong,” Koushi said, a hard edge to his words, sharp enough to cut. Akagi was the last person to be complaining about that.

Akagi caught his tone, Koushi knew he did, but he smiled anyway. “Whoa, what’s with all the hostility, Sugawara? Don’t appreciate it.”

“Maybe I don’t want any potential rumors.”

“What’re you talking about? We’re here, as teacher and student, talking about your thesis since a) you haven’t started it yet, and b) class isn’t formally held over winter break.”

Koushi moved his thrumming fingers to the side of the mug. Clever bastard. 

“And while I am all for discussing your thesis, that’s not the only reason why I asked you out today.”

Koushi narrowed his eyes as Akagi took a sip of his latte, slightly distorting the intricate, foamy leaf pattern on the surface.

“And I could’ve emailed you about this, but I figured this should be done in person.”

Now Koushi was really suspicious. What could he possibly–?

“I was wondering if you’d like to assist me in teaching an undergraduate psychology course next semester on behavior analysis and modification.”

If Koushi had been holding his coffee mug, he would’ve dropped it. Hot coffee would’ve spilled right into his lap and he wouldn’t have cared, too caught up on the proposition that was dumped into his lap instead.

“You want me… to help you?” Koushi asked. He must be losing it, still in bed dreaming, because there was no way this was happening right now.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I? You’re one of the most hard-working students I’ve had to date. You know the material, and you know how to take command of the audience’s attention. There’s a reason you have such high marks on your presentations. Besides, it’ll look really good on your curriculum vitae and therefore help you into doctoral programs. Not to mention it may help you with your thesis.”

Koushi didn’t know what to say. There were dozens – no, hundreds ¬– of potential candidates, many far more qualified with higher GPAs and their theses well and figured out. Koushi was smart, he was willing to admit that about himself. He had the grades all throughout his high school career that helped him get into college prep classes with Daichi. But there were others who were far smarter, and he was also willing to admit that. Koushi considered himself average at best. He always had. Volleyball, academics – average, no matter what Daichi and Asahi said. So why? Why him?

“You don’t have to answer right now. In fact, I prefer that you didn’t,” Akagi said. “Take some time to think it over, consider your workload and get back to me by the time the break ends.”

Koushi could only nod.

“Great.” Akagi smiled. “Now, about your thesis.”

 

Koushi arrived home still feeling a little dumbstruck, riding a different frequency than everyone else around him. He was annoyed and elated and surprised all at once, different hues swirling but never melding, an array of confusion that cleared up as soon as he walked into his living room and saw Iwaizumi and Oikawa huddled together on the couch, the TV flashing a scene from _Princess Mononoke._ Oikawa’s eyes were already on him, as if he knew Koushi was going to walk through the door at any second, and now that Koushi was moving closer he could see a brightness in Oikawa’s eyes that wasn’t there before. It was a different light than when he had first walked out of that shower and was wearing clean clothes and had food in his stomach. And he knew that was all Iwaizumi’s doing.

Iwaizumi looked over at Koushi. “Hey. Welcome back.”

Koushi plopped on the couch adjacent to them. “Hey.”

“How was coffee?”

“Fine. It was really busy today.” Koushi watched as the character Ashitaka let his bow fly towards his enemies with deadly precision all while riding a red elk. Koushi remembered asking his parents for a red elk for his birthday after he saw this movie for the first time when he was a kid. He got a plush of one instead. “What have you guys been up to?”

“Just watching movies,” Iwaizumi said. “We finished _The Day After Tomorrow,_ and he wanted to watch another one. Once he heard this one had wolves, that was it.” He smiled as he said this, nothing but amused fondness in his eyes and words.

Oikawa on the other hand hadn’t taken his eyes off of Koushi, studying his every move, his nose twitching as he sniffed the air.

Koushi wondered briefly if he smelled and Oikawa’s sensitive nose caught wind of something foul. “Um… is everything all right, Oikawa-san?”

“You smell funny,” Oikawa said, making Iwaizumi choke on the water he was drinking and Koushi blink in surprise. “Are you okay?”

“Oikawa, you can’t just say that to people,” Iwaizumi said. “It’s not exactly polite.”

Oikawa turned to face the other. “But he smells different, Iwa-chan.”

“Be that as it may, you can’t just –”

“It’s fine, Iwaizumi.” Koushi smiled, chuckling at the pure curiosity in Oikawa’s round chocolate eyes that were still meshing with the red in his shirt and now reflecting the dancing, vibrant colors of an iconic Studio Ghibli film. “I was out with a friend, so it’s probably him you smell. I promise I’m fine.”

Oikawa nodded, turning to the TV when one of the animals screeched onscreen. “When are the wolves coming, Iwa-chan?”

“You gotta be patient, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi said.

The shifter pouted, slouching in the blanket wrapped around him, his wolf ears folding back in obvious annoyance and dissatisfaction.

They continued watching the movie, Oikawa completely enraptured by it as Koushi and Iwaizumi watched with lose interest, until the trill of a cellphone pierced the air, making them all startle. Iwaizumi fished his phone from his pocket, sighing when he read the caller I.D.

“It’s my mom,” he said, and Koushi remembered that Iwaizumi tell his parents exactly why he was coming back to Tokyo so suddenly. He stood up, shrugging the blanket from his shoulders. “I’m gonna take this outside.”

Oikawa’s attention was torn from the movie at that, and he grabbed Iwaizumi’s sleeve, his brow drawn together, lips parted with unspoken words, a clear plea in his eyes, and judging by the realization in Iwaizumi’s eyes, a cool, easy color of understanding, Oikawa didn’t need to. Iwaizumi wrapped the blanket he’d been using around his friend’s shoulders, offering a gentle smile.

“I’ll be back,” Iwaizumi said, those words ringing nothing short of a promise. “I’m gonna be right outside on the phone. But Suga will be here with you. Is that all right?”

Oikawa paused but eventually nodded.

Content with that, Iwaizumi headed towards the door, sparing one last glance in Koushi’s direction. _Please look after him,_ it seemed to say, and Koushi didn’t need to be told twice. With that silent promise exchanged between them, Iwaizumi stepped out of the apartment and shut the door behind him. Oikawa curled further into the blanket Iwaizumi gave him, covering half his face with it, bringing his knees up to his chest, and his gaze fell back to the screen, his entire aura rippling with anxiety. _Separation_ anxiety.

Koushi lodged his bottom lip between his teeth, entertaining it until it was a soft red. “Don’t worry, Oikawa-san,” he said, Oikawa’s ears glancing towards the sound of his voice. “He’ll be right back.”

“I… I can’t hear him outside anymore,” Oikawa muttered. “He… he didn’t leave, did he?”

“No, no, of course not,” Koushi said, sitting up further on the couch. “Iwaizumi won’t leave you, Oikawa-san. He wouldn’t do that.” He found uncertainty still playing Oikawa like a violin, darkening his eyes, quickening his breath, making his fingers curl and uncurl into fists. He needed to help Oikawa relax somehow, anchor him, reassure him that Iwaizumi wasn’t going anywhere. He moved slowly to the other couch, kneeling to be a little lower than eye-level with the shifter. “I’ve know we’ve only known each for less than 24 hours give or take, but trust me when I say that Iwaizumi would never leave you behind. I’m sure it must be terrifying for you, going through all this. I can’t even begin to imagine. But Iwaizumi has spent most of his life trying to find you. He’s not going to let you go.”

Oikawa was looking at Koushi now, eyes wide and traced with tears, his hands coming to rest on his knees. The sleeves were a little long on him, so his lithe fingers peeked out from the knuckle down. “Really?” his voice was meek, softer than early morning snow, undulating down.

Koushi smiled. “Really. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Oikawa fiddled with the hems of the sleeves.

“Would you like tea?” Koushi stood up. “I can make you some.”

Oikawa’s hand suddenly shot out, catching the edge of Koushi’s sleeve, and he slowly shook his head. “Stay…” he murmured, not making eye contact. “Please.”

A child.

That also what Oikawa reminded Koushi of.

A frightened child that had nowhere else to go, no home, no other friends or family to make him feel safe. Isolated at one point, and truly afraid that he’d be alone once again.

Koushi took the unoccupied spot next to Oikawa. “Of course.”

And so they sat there, watching as Ashitaka was welcomed into the iron ore village, Oikawa’s fingers still clutched into Koushi’s sleeve, Koushi sitting quietly and not knowing what else he could say or do to bring some semblance of comfort and hoping that Iwaizumi was okay. He didn’t exactly like the look on Iwaizumi’s face when he walked out. And if Oikawa’s sensitive ears couldn’t pick up the conversation, he must’ve gone further than just outside the door. And, as if on cue, Koushi’s phone vibrated, Oikawa’s ears flicking to the noise when Koushi dug it out from his back pocket.

Iwaizumi’s name lit up the screen. A text message.

 

 **From: Iwaizumi Hajime**  
To: Sugawara Koushi  
**How’s he doing?**

 

Koushi stole a glance towards Oikawa, who’s gaze was still trained on the screen, and typed.

 

 **To: Iwaizumi Hajime**  
From: Sugawara Koushi  
**He’s all right I think. He’s really worried about you.**

 

 **From: Iwaizumi Hajime**  
**Ok. I’ll be done here soon. I’m sitting out in the courtyard. I didn’t want Oikawa to hear this.**

 

Koushi didn’t like the way that sounded.

 

 **From: Sugawara Koushi**  
**Are you okay?**

 

Iwaizumi didn’t reply, and after a few minutes Koushi thought about sending another message when Oikawa muttered something beside him. “Hm?” Koushi said.

“I liked the weather movie,” Oikawa said, louder but still gentle. “It was…” he frowned, eyes trailing off to the side, like he was trying to find the right word. “Interesting.”

Koushi smiled. “Good. I’m glad you liked it.” He paused for a moment and then continued. “You know, if you ever want to watch a movie, read something, or want something to eat, you’re more than welcome to what I have. I want you to be comfortable here, so…”

Oikawa glanced at him, the trace of his own smile on his face. “Thank you… Suga.” But then he blinked in surprise when his stomach growled, low and demanding, and a soft pink brushed across his cheeks.

Koushi chuckled. “I guess that means lunch is in order.”

Maybe they could order takeout or pick something up, otherwise a trip to the market would be necessary. Koushi needed to stock up anyway, but would Iwaizumi and Oikawa want to go? Would Oikawa be comfortable going? It was already leaning towards one, which was past the lunch rush hour but it was still a Saturday afternoon in Tokyo, and they ate breakfast around 10:30. Koushi personally wasn’t hungry – not after spending a couple of hours at the café drinking coffee and nibbling on sweet pastries while talking about his future. His potential.

Oikawa leaned forward in interest as a howl resonated from the TV, drinking in the picture of two white wolves running down a mountain, one with a masked girl on its back, and charging towards the village. Oikawa’s eyes spotted their double tails, glancing back at his own singular, fluffy one swaying back and forth fluidly behind him.

“They’re big,” he said. “Bigger than me.”

“From what I understand, those are the pups of the wolf god,” Koushi explained, smiling when Oikawa turned to him in disbelief. “Wait till you see their mother.”

“Wow…”

And for a moment, Koushi wondered what Oikawa looked like when he fully shifted. Oikawa only stayed in that sort of half-state, it seemed to be his default mode, the one he was most comfortable in, and only became human when he was told to do so. The size of a shifter in its full animal form varied from person to person, family to family, so genes played a huge role. He’d taken a required biology course in high school and learned that some shifters were much larger than their wild counterparts. And while the size and shape of their human form played a part, that wasn’t always the case.

The door clicked open then, making them both turn towards the sound and sight of Iwaizumi ambling back into the living room wearing an entirely different expression than when he left. His gaze had hardened, and his body reeked with coiled tension. They could see it in the way he moved to drop his duffel bags down on the floor and sit on the couch, the way he took a deep, calming breath.

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa piped up. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry,” Iwaizumi said even as Oikawa went to sit beside him. “Listen, I’ve got some errands to run. Did you want to come with?”

Oikawa tilted his head. “I get to go?”

“Of course.” Iwaizumi stood up, going over to his bags and unzipping them.

“Where are we going?” Oikawa asked from his spot on the couch, watching Iwaizumi dig through his duffel bags.

“We’re going to get you some new clothes,” Iwaizumi answered, pulling a shirt from the depths of his bag. It was navy in color, long-sleeved. “You can’t bum off of Suga forever, you know.”

Oikawa looked at the outfit he was currently wearing. “I like Suga’s clothes. They smell nice.”

“Be that as it may, we still have to give the clothes back at some point. Besides, isn’t that Daichi’s shirt, Suga?”

Koushi resisted the overwhelming urge to smirk. He would know that, wouldn’t he? “Yeah, it is. He left it here.”

Oikawa pulled the shirt collar up to his face, sniffing it, obviously puzzled. “It doesn’t smell like Daichi.”

Iwaizumi chuckled. “It’s been washed since then.” He held out the blue shirt in his hand. “Here – put this on. It might still be a little small on you but this’ll do for now. I’ll get you some sweatpants.”

Oikawa turned to Koushi. “Are you coming, Suga?”

Koushi blinked a few times. “You want me to go?”

“I don’t see why we wouldn’t want you to,” Iwaizumi said. “You don’t have to, just know the invite is there.”

Koushi looked back to Oikawa, at the blatant hope in his eyes, and smiled. “Sure. I’d love to.”

Oikawa grinned.

Since Iwaizumi was a bit taller than Koushi, his clothes would fit Oikawa a little better. The only issue was shoes. Oikawa’s feet were bigger than both of theirs, so Koushi suggested that he wear Iwaizumi’s athletic Nike slides for now. Iwaizumi nodded, handing over the shirt, sweatpants, and a pair of socks so Oikawa could change. The shifter took the offered clothes and hurried off to the bathroom with his tail wagging.

Iwaizumi chuckled, shaking his head. He zipped up his duffel back and placed it by the couch to get it out of the way. Koushi went to his room and changed into another shirt, meeting the duo back in the living area with a red beanie in hand where Oikawa was slipping on one of Iwaizumi’s black sport hoodies.

“Here you go.” Koushi held out the beanie, smiling when Oikawa blinked at it. “It’s a beanie. You wear it to keep your head warm.”

Oikawa mulled this over before shaking his head, his wolf ears disappearing completely and his human ones showing once more. He bent over a bit, Koushi standing tall and placing the beanie on Oikawa’s head, nodding in approval. “Perfect.”

The afternoon sky was clearer than yesterday, bits of blue peeking through the cloud-dappled sky, and the air was cold, rustling hair and clinging to their faces and kissing them pink. Oikawa leaned over the railing to peer down at the sea of people passing below. Both pedestrian and vehicle traffic was more congested than normal, with it being Saturday, and it was brimming with people walking in and out of stores toting lines of bags on their arms, mothers herding children, undergraduate college students prattling about the winter break. Colorful lights lined the tops of buildings and were constructed into twinkling trees that lined the sidewalk. Living closer to the central part of Tokyo definitely had its perks, and Koushi figured he traded one type of hustle and bustle for another. But in a city like Tokyo, it was hard to get away from people without some maximum effort put in.

It was a good thing they didn’t mind people all that much.

Koushi fished his keys from his pocket to lock the door.

“Sugawara-san, Iwaizumi-san,” came a deep, rumbling voice to the right.

Koushi turned, coming to face Ushijima Wakatoshi who was standing at his own door with keys in hand. Koushi wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when he realized he was living next to the former Shiratorizawa ace and captain, but it wasn’t as bad as many might believe. Ushijima was most definitely a considerate neighbor. He was never loud, helped him study, checked in on him if Koushi had been MIA for a few days, which usually happened when Koushi was working on three essays at a time, and often brought leftovers from lunch or dinner if he accidentally made too much. So in turn, Koushi returned the favor, and it became a habit between them.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi said.

“Ushijima-san, good to see you.” Koushi smiled. “How did your test go yesterday?”

“It went well. I’m not worried about it,” Ushijima said.

“Well, you studied for almost two weeks straight.” Koushi chuckled. “I thought you were gonna keel over.”

“Thank you for looking after me. But you had a test too, didn’t you, Sugawara-san? How’d it go?”

“It went fine! Thanks for asking.”

“Iwaizumi-san, I hope you’ve been well.” Ushijima turned to the other man.

“Peachy. Congratulations on getting into the law program. I’ve heard it’s not exactly a walk in the park,” Iwaizumi said.

“Thank you.” Ushijima’s sharp, olive eyes then landed on Oikawa, who so far had been silent.

Oikawa’s hand was fisted in the back of Iwaizumi’s jacket, the other clutching the hem of the hoodie he was wearing, and his eyes flitted everywhere but Ushijima. His lip was tucked between his teeth, and if his ears and tail were visible Koushi imagined they’d be twitching with unsettled nerves.

“Oh, Ushijima-san, this is Oikawa Tooru. He’s one of Iwaizumi’s good friends,” Koushi said.

Ushijima was quiet for a few moments, his olive eyes seemingly registering and confirming something before sticking out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Oikawa stared at the offered hand and looked at Iwaizumi and Koushi for some sort of indication of what to do next. Ushijima stood there patiently, his expression placid, just as Oikawa reached out his hand to shake Ushijima’s. And once he pulled he pulled his hand away, Oikawa remained almost hidden behind Iwaizumi.

“It seems like you were on your way out, so I don’t want to intrude. Have a good rest of your day,” Ushijima said and went into his apartment.

“I don’t know how I forgot you lived next to Ushijima,” Iwaizumi said as soon as there was the sound of Ushijima’s door lock slipping into place. He turned to look at Oikawa over his shoulder, concern furrowing his brow. “You okay?”

“Shifter…” Oikawa muttered.

“Hm?” Koushi said.

“He’s… a shifter,” Oikawa said, staring down at his hands that were still bundled into Iwaizumi’s jacket. 

Koushi took a moment to process this information. Ushijima Wakatoshi was a shifter? Granted this wasn’t information one just threw around freely, there were still radical activists out there that wanted nothing more than for shifters to disappear completely even though they were the person you had coffee with last week, your neighbor, your classmate, your coworker. No one knew where shapeshifters came from, they’d been there since the beginning of civilization, and for a long time throughout history they persecuted, regarded as less than human and treated as such. But they were all connected, even if the older generations didn’t believe that they were. 

“You could tell that just by looking at him?” Iwaizumi asked as they descended the stairs.

Oikawa shook his head. “I could smell it. He… he smelled like a shifter. He knows I’m one, too.” A puzzled look settled on his face. “I’ve never met another one before. Another shifter. He was… nice.”

“Yeah, Ushijima is a nice guy. He seems really stand-offish at first to people who don’t know him very well, but he’s an overall great person. He lives next door so if you ever want to talk to him, he’s right there,” Koushi said.

Oikawa nodded, curiosity in his eyes. “Okay.”

Once they melded into the crowd, Koushi noticed that Oikawa’s grip on Iwaizumi’s jacket tightened and he gnawed on his bottom lip with more force than before. He never looked at anyone straight in the eye and instead focused on the sidewalk underneath their feet as they moved along the array of shops and restaurants to their right. No one was paying them any mind, but Koushi figured Oikawa felt that they were under a microscope.

Koushi leaned closer to Iwaizumi, grabbing his attention. “I think we should go to the smaller, less busier stores.”

Iwaizumi didn’t even have to look over his shoulder, surely feeling the tight hold, and nodded. “Good idea.”

They broke from the crowd by walking down another street, one still teeming with people but less so. Koushi and Iwaizumi led Oikawa into a store they didn’t frequent very often but one they knew had a wide selection of clothes at a reasonable price. Koushi wasn’t exactly a fan of shopping, but Oikawa needed clothes to wear other than theirs.

The store was pleasantly warm, more welcoming than the chill outside, and one of the employees greeted the merrily as they walked further inside. There was a small group spread out relatively evenly throughout the store but some tension seemed to leak from Oikawa’s shoulders. His eyes flew over the mannequins wearing a matching conglomeration of the clothes lining the shelves and racks, all warm reds, oranges, and some with cool blues, greens and purples. It seemed to interest him, but he stayed close to them, never letting Iwaizumi go.

“Is there something that catches your eye, Oikawa?” Iwaizumi looked back at his friend.

Oikawa scanned the array of options, and he pointed once something seemed to pique his interest enough. “Can I…?”

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead.” Iwaizumi gave an encouraging nod. “You don’t have to ask. Just let me know where you’re going, okay?”

Oikawa inched towards one of the clothes racks, his fingers ghosting over a few blue and red shirts, both flannel and solid patterned, and pulled them out. “I like these.”

“Good choices. You look really good in blue and red.” Koushi smiled and picked up some solid white and black shirts. “These’ll go well with the flannel.” He tucked them in his arms and took the ones Oikawa was holding. “I’ll hold them while you keep looking.”

Oikawa seemed to ease up once realizing his choices were approved and he scoured further.

“Maybe we can help him out a bit.” Koushi chuckled, checking the size on the tags. Oikawa had picked two different sizes. A medium and a small. “Hmm… He might need a large.”

Iwaizumi nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.”

They plucked a variety of shirts and jeans from the shelves for Oikawa to try, estimating from the sizes they wore and compared it to Oikawa’s longer limbs, and kept an eye on the shifter but he never wandered too far. They moved about each other in easy silence, asking for opinions, until Koushi remembered Iwaizumi’s tension, his subtle frown, the smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes when looking at Oikawa.

“Hey,” Koushi started. “Was everything okay? With your mom, I mean. If you don’t mind me asking. You looked a little upset earlier.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi said. “I don’t mind.” He was quiet for a moment and sighed. “She, uh, she was asking if I was okay and why I just left all of a sudden without giving them any answers. I told her that I was fine, and… well, I told her about Oikawa.”

Koushi didn’t say anything.

“Of course I eased her into the news, but that didn’t help. She started yelling at me, telling me that it’s been 15 years since Oikawa’s disappearance, like I didn’t already know that.” His tone turned sour, bitter. “She was telling me to let it go, as if he wasn’t my best friend, as if she didn’t help raise him when his parents died.” He took a deep breath. “I know she’s grieving. She was upset for a long time when Oikawa disappeared. She thought of him as a second son, so I know hearing that he’s suddenly back after believing he was dead for so long couldn’t have been easy. But still…”

“You thought they’d trust you.”

“Exactly.” Iwaizumi sifted through some pant sizes. “Which is why I really appreciate what you’re doing, Suga. You’re helping us out a lot.”

“You know I don’t mind,” Koushi said.

“Yeah, but you didn’t exactly sign up for this.”

“I know you’d do the same for me.” Koushi said as he grabbed a nice, dark green shirt. They should get him some jackets, too. “You can stay for as long as you want.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, your roommate’s still a jackass, right?”

“Yes?”

“Then it’s fine. I have an extra bedroom. You’re not putting anyone out.”

Iwaizumi smiled. “Thanks.”

“No need. You’re my friend, Oikawa is your friend and he needs help. I’m not opposed to this. Besides, it’s winter break. I’m not doing anything. Besides, we should all have like a mini-Christmas together. You know, when Daichi comes back.”

“Oh, uh…” Iwaizumi rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks growing red. “Yeah. Yeah, definitely. He’s coming back in a week, right? He went to visit his dad?”

“Yeah.” Koushi nodded, remembering the messages Daichi sent him on the way back to his apartment. The cut in his digital words. The fact that he already wanted to be home when he had just arrived. “We should have like a big dinner or something. And you most definitely bake one of your famous pineapple upside down cakes. I think it’ll be a nice thing to do for everyone.”

“As long as you don’t let Daichi touch the stove, I’ll bake as many cakes as you want.”

Koushi laughed. “Deal.” He picked up another large shirt, this one a deep purple. “How about after this we go get something to eat? I think Oikawa’s hungry. I’m sure you’ve gotta be.”

“Yeah, I could eat some lunch.” Iwaizumi turned around. “Hey, Oikawa, how does that–?”

But Oikawa wasn’t there, nor anywhere in their line of sight.

And Koushi felt sick.

 

Tooru searched through some different colored shirts on the shelf, many with pictures and some with writing that wasn’t Japanese characters. There were so many exciting sights and smells, and while there were people up here he didn’t recognize, he felt slightly at peace. He’d never been in a place like this before, a clothing store. Or maybe he had and he just didn’t remember. It was another place that faded into black. 

He frowned at the writing. He liked the color – a nice, forest green – but if he didn’t know what it said… Maybe he could ask Iwa-chan or Suga. Tooru turned to his left, only to find that Iwaizumi wasn’t there. And neither was Suga.

The shirt slipped from his hands, and his heart crashed to his stomach.

Where…?

Where did they…?

Tooru glanced around, finding only a few people he didn’t recognize. Did they not follow him up the stairs? Didn’t he tell them? Well, come to think of it, Tooru didn’t tell them. He was swept away by the bright, vibrant colors and smells after being surrounded by blacks and greys and whites for so long. He had to find them. He needed to find them. He had to…

He approached the staircase, but a rush of footsteps and voices sent panic flooding through him, and he scurried to the safety of one of the clothes racks, hiding in the center of the myriad of hues, pulling his knees to his chest. He ran his fingers through his hair and slipped off the beanie, his wolf ears now peeking from the tufts. He buried his hands in his hair, pulling at the strands, and he hid his face between his knees.

He listened to the crowd moving about him, sifting through the rack he was hiding in and others nearby, grabbing and putting clothes back, laughing and talking and being overwhelming. The smells, the sounds, the lack of familiarity brought by Iwaizumi and Suga – it all muddled together in a cacophony of noise and nausea. Everything was starting to filter into white. It was too much. It was too much.

What if those people found him again? What if they took him back? Threw him in the Darkness, forgotten and alone. Or tossed onto a cold, hard bed in a too bright room that permeated the blindfold. Poked and prodded and surrounded by machines that hummed and beeped.

No. No, no, no. He couldn’t go back there. They couldn’t find him. They –

“Are you okay, mister?”

Tooru snapped to attention, a single tear streaming down his cheek.

A child – a girl – with red hair tied into pigtails with blue ribbons and deep, curious brown eyes was staring at him. She was only halfway inside the rack, her legs sticking out into the aisle. Her gaze was innocent, pure, but Tooru still kept as much distance as possible without falling through the flimsy shirt barrier and into the open. She also smelled sweet like warm, rich cookies and the syrup he tried on his French toast, and she smelled like… like…

“It’s okay, don’t be scared,” the girl said, smiling. “I like your ears and tail.”

Tooru shifted his gaze to the floor. “Thank you…”

“Look, I can do it, too! See?” she shook her head, and two cat ears peered from her hair, her pupils slit, and when she grinned there were two prominent, sharpened canines. “My name’s Yuki. What’s your name?”

Tooru relaxed a bit once she changed. She was like him, too. “T-Tooru.”

“Nice to meet you, Tooru!” she sniffed. “You kinda smell like a dog.”

Tooru couldn’t help but smile. “I’m a wolf.”

“Cool!” she beamed. “I’m just a kitty. I’ve never met a wolf before!”

Tooru has met plenty of cats, but this was the first nice one he’s met.

“Yuki?” came another voice, heard clear over the chatter. “Yuki, where’d you go?” Footsteps drew nearer, making Tooru freeze. There was a sigh. “Yuki, what’re you doing down there?”

Yuki poked out of the rack. “I made a new friend, Momma!”

Her mother gasped. “Yuki! How many times have I told you never to do that! We’re humans, not shifters!”

“But Momma, I met someone who can do it, too! He’s in there! And he’s nice!”

“What?” the woman shrieked. “I don’t want you going anywhere near another shifter! You know better than that! Put those ears away, we’re leaving!”

“But Momma…!”

Their voices faded into the mix of other voices, the girl’s sweet scent dissipating, and Tooru was left alone in the clothes rack with the woman’s words ringing in his ears. That woman didn’t like shifters. Her own child was one, and she was being scolded for something her daughter couldn’t help.

Tooru whimpered.

Where were Iwaizumi and Suga?

He wanted them to come get him. To get him out of here. He didn’t want to be alone. He wanted… he wanted…

“Sir?”

Tooru stiffened, looking up at a man in the same uniform as the woman employee they saw when they first arrived. And he felt his insides crumble.

 

“He couldn’t have gone far,” Koushi said, practically hearing the alarm bells ringing in Iwaizumi’s head. “We’ll find him.”

“I can’t lose him again. I can’t.” Iwaizumi looked around, through the racks. "I was supposed to keep an eye on him!"

“There’s still upstairs.” Koushi nodded towards the staircase. “I’ll go up there, you keep going down here. I’ll let you know if I find him.”

Iwaizumi nodded, weaving through the rush of people now coming in and out of the store. Koushi hurried up the steps, dodging the swarm of couples and families, looking inside each rack and around corners.

Where did he go?

Where did he go?

Where did he go?

Where did he–?

There was a small crowd gathered in one area, near a clearance sign, so Koushi didn’t pay any mind. Christmas was coming up, and a sale was a sale, he understood.

“Sir, please come out of there. You’re causing a scene.” A man’s voice caught his attention. It was an employee. He was looking inside one of the clothes racks, kneeling down. There was frustration edging into his tone. “Are you with anyone?” When he didn’t receive a response, he sighed. “I don’t want to have to call security.”

Koushi moved through the people gathered around, not even meeting the miffed gazes of those he bumped into. “What’s going on?”

The employee stood up. “There’s this shifter that won’t –”

“Suga…?”

Koushi immediately knelt down, pushing the hanging clothes off to the side and came face to face with a frightened Oikawa once more. Tears were running down his reddened face, and he sniffled before launching himself into Koushi’s arms, clutching onto his jacket and sobs wracking his frame. Koushi rubbed his back, whispering comforting words in his ear. He could feel the crowd’s eyes on them, but he didn’t care.

“I’ve got you,” Koushi whispered, tightening his hold around Oikawa. “I got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I updated just a few days ago, but I had this all planned and I had to crank it out. Thank you again, everyone! You have all been wonderful and amazing and I love you all :D
> 
> Feel free to contact me here or on tumblr! My tumblr is tenacioustooru! I'd love to hear from you all <3


	5. stillwater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And, despite what history led people to believe for centuries, shifters formed emotional bonds with others. It was a stronger and deeper connection, whether it be platonic or romantic, that many didn’t make an effort to understand.
> 
> And a shifter encroaching on another shifter’s partner? That was grounds for a fight across the board.

Koushi tried to remember what he needed to do when his little brother’s anxiety skyrocketed that sometimes turned into full-blown panic attacks. His brother, Hisoka, for one, didn’t want to be touched. That was learned during the first one, but after enough time they’d be able to lead him to the places he was most comfortable – his bedroom, this small pocket under the stairs that was filled with blankets and pillows. They’d always ask what Hisoka needed, spoke to him in calm, simple sentences. Avoided surprises. Whatever he needed them to do.

Oikawa was panicking. He was scared – _terrified._ But he wasn’t letting Koushi go. He wasn’t pushing away or demanding to be left alone. So Koushi rubbed small circles in Oikawa’s back as he trembled, an earthquake in his arms, running his fingers through the soft, brown curls. The crowd’s eyes were burning into his back, nothing but disdain and judgment harbored there. They were whispering, and it didn’t take much to know that it wasn’t exactly words of comfort. And it made Koushi’s blood boil hot and red under his skin.

“What the hell are you all staring at?” Koushi growled, rounding on their surprised faces, as if they did nothing wrong. He scowled. “There’s nothing to see here! Go!”  
The crowd dispersed, slowly, like a trickle of water overflowing to a spill, and Koushi turned all of his attention to a still visibly upset Oikawa. “Shh… it’s okay,” he whispered. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”

Oikawa wrenched his eyes shut, fingers tight in Koushi’s jacket, hot tears roaring down his face. “Suga…”

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Koushi murmured. He looked around, at the people, his ears catching their words of judgment and venom. Oikawa needed to get out of here. This wasn’t helping him calm down in the slightest. “Oikawa-san, come with me, okay?”

Oikawa only nodded, staggering to his feet when Koushi stood up, practically leaning all of his weight on the other. Koushi inched them towards the dressing room, ignoring the employees staring at them and glaring at those who dared to even approach, and picked an empty one and shut the door behind them, locking it. Oikawa collapsed to the floor, seeking Koushi out again. And Koushi held him. Held him there in the middle of the dressing room, listening to the hush of different outfits falling to the floor as they were tried on and the differing opinions floating in after them. They were still in the store, but they needed to stay out of high traffic areas. At least until Iwaizumi got here.

Koushi pulled out his phone and pressed the phone icon next to Iwaizumi’s name.

 _“Suga?”_ Iwaizumi’s panic was palpable. _“Have you found him?”_

“Yeah, we’re in a dressing room upstairs. You’d better get up here.”

_“I’m on my way.”_

Koushi hung up, placing his phone on the floor.

“Where’s Iwa-chan?” Oikawa murmured, barely heard. “W-Where…?”

“He’s coming,” Koushi said. “He’s coming right now.”

“Don’t leave me, Suga… P-Please… Please.”

“I won’t. I won’t, I’m right here.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Oikawa said. And he kept repeating this. A mantra of guilt and fear and regret. Whispering it over and over again into Koushi’s neck, trailing down with the tears he shed.

Koushi gave him an assuring squeeze. “Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“I-I ran off… A-And…” he hiccupped.

“Shh, don’t worry,” Koushi said. “You’re safe now. I’m here. Iwaizumi’s coming. No one can get you here.”

Oikawa seemed like he was trying to make himself as small as possible with the way he was huddled between Koushi’s legs, his head resting on Koushi’s shoulder and face hidden in the latter’s neck. It would’ve been comical, seeing the way his long legs and arms were almost awkwardly bent to keep himself as close to Koushi as possible, to those who didn’t know. But Koushi simply let him do whatever he needed to feel comfortable, not minding the tears dampening his shirt. He ran his fingers through Oikawa’s hair, noticing earlier when Iwaizumi did it that it seemed to bring some sort of solace, minding Oikawa’s sensitive ears.

“Suga? Suga, where are you?”

Iwaizumi.

“We’re in here,” Koushi called, reaching over and unlocking the door.

The door to the dressing room opened, revealing a very frazzled Iwaizumi who almost melted in relief, dropping the set of clothes they had picked out to the floor. “Oikawa, thank God!”

Oikawa lifted his head. “Iwa-chan!” he flung himself into Iwaizumi’s open arms, clinging to him just as tightly as he did Koushi. “I’m sorry, Iwa-chan! I’m s-so sorry!”

“Hey, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” Iwaizumi told him, firmly but also affectionately. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“Y-You’re not mad?”

“No, of course not.”

Oikawa turned to Koushi. “You’re not mad either, are you, Suga?”

Koushi’s heart squeezed in his chest. “Never was.”

Oikawa nodded, looking back to Iwaizumi, a tremble in his words and movements. “I-I wanna go, Iwa-chan. Can we go?”

“Of course we can.” Iwaizumi slipped the hood over Oikawa’s head and turned to Koushi, the panic settling in his eyes but being replaced with something else entirely. “We gotta get him out of here.”

Koushi pulled his keys from his pocket. “Here – take him back to my place. I’ll grab his clothes. He’s still gonna need something to wear.”

Iwaizumi, in turn, slipped some cash from his wallet. “Here. Take this. Hopefully it’ll cover at least half.”

Koushi nodded, pocketing the cash and scooping up the clothes Iwaizumi dropped. He waited as Iwaizumi helped Oikawa to his feet, the shifter keeping his head down to conceal his ears and face while his tail swished freely behind him. It was considered extremely impolite for a shifter to have their ears and tail out, but this was a state Oikawa was most comfortable, a state he resorted to when his emotions spiked, and Koushi didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise. Besides, judging by the look on Iwaizumi’s face, anyone with half a brain would see that any comments would be swiftly and harshly dealt with. He walked with them towards the entrance where Iwaizumi assured him they’d be fine, and Koushi went to the register to pay, grabbing a package of boxers and socks along the way. 

He should probably tell Iwaizumi he was going to drop the clothes off before going to the store. He patted his pocket for his phone, paling when he realized it was empty. All his jean pockets were empty, even his coat ones. The dressing room. In his rush to get Oikawa out of the store, he must’ve left it on the floor.

Just great.

Koushi huffed, the air blowing his fringe up a bit (it was getting a little long, he’d need to get it cut soon), and hurried back upstairs to the dressing rooms with hopes that no one had swiped his phone. And if they had, they had turned it in to an employee. He really wasn’t in the mood to deal with more assholes today.

The dressing room was still empty when he reached it, and he opened the dressing room to find his phone sitting right there on the floor. He sighed. Thank goodness. He swiped up his phone, going through a few texts he missed, mostly from Daichi, and… four missed phone calls from his mother. 

Shit.

His phone hovered over the screen to call her back as someone called out.

“Hey, you there!”

Koushi heard the voice but kept walking, not paying any mind because surely they weren’t talking to him.

“Hey, you! The guy in the brown jacket!” 

Koushi stopped, looking over at two men, probably not much older than himself, waving at him from a few feet away. “Uh… yes?”

One, a brunet with a baseball cap, smiled. “You were with that shifter, right? The crazy one?”

Koushi deadpanned. “Excuse me?”

“The shifter who lost his shit in the middle of the store. I dunno where you found him, but thanks for getting a handle on that,” the other interjected, a blond wearing a large sneer. “The last thing we need is another bat-shit crazy shifter on the loose. It sets a bad example.”

“I told you they were nothing but bad news, man.”

“Maybe they should just all be exterminated. Put ‘em out of their fuckin’ misery.”

“Yeah, I’ll second that.”

Koushi scoffed and his grip tightened around his phone. “Are you kidding me?”

The brunet shrugged. “Why would we be? It’d be better for everyone, right? At least for our future generations. We have to protect our children, you know? It’s important.”

“I mean, my grandparents always say that everything was better in the good old days.”

Koushi narrowed his eyes. They were completely serious. “It’s a shame that such outdated ideas still exist in this day and age, especially coming from young, and, well, I’d say educated but you’re two of the most ignorant individuals I have met in my life so in light of the fact that I have lost all respect for you, it pleases me to say that discrimination doesn’t exactly bode well nowadays. No one tolerates that anymore. You might get hurt.”

With that, Koushi walked away, making it a point to end the conversation there, until he felt a rough hand catch his shoulder and spin him back around, almost making him dizzy. It was the brunet. He was taller than Koushi by at least a solid three to four inches, had a bit more muscle. He was smirking now, obviously believing he had the advantage.

“Is that a threat?”

Koushi’s expression remained stoic, calm thunder, even when he grabbed the man’s wrist and twisted it, turning his arm in a way that brought the brunet crashing to his knees, all while still holding Oikawa’s new clothes. The man let out a startled cry, his face contorted with pain, while his friend stood there with widened eyes.

“That’s a promise,” Koushi spat, venom dripping lethally from his tone. He sighed with forced pity. “You know, I try to be a nice guy. I consider myself a patient man, and I really do hate confrontation, but it’s bigoted assholes like you that really work my nerves. This is the 21st century, pal. You should catch up.” Then he glowered, pulling the man’s arm back and earning a pained gasp. “And if you touch me again, I will break your fucking arm, do you understand me?”

The man didn’t answer, and Koushi twisted it further.

“Okay, okay! I get it!” the man shouted.

“Glad we’re on the same page.” Koushi let him go, turning to his friend. “If I were you, I’d stop standing there like a deer in the headlights and get your buddy here some ice. Maybe a brace. He’ll be sore for a few days.” He spun on his heel and turned away, straightening the wrinkles in his jacket and brushing his hair out of his eyes, and returning to line up behind the other customers at the register.

He sighed, feeling a bit of the anger boiling in his core simmer down enough where he could interact with innocent parties without his face screaming murder. Like he said, there were still radical activists out there that wanted nothing more than for shifters to disappear off the face of the earth. Many have tried, especially by way of genocide. Some just wanted to strip them completely of the rights those in the past worked so hard to obtain.

And, as if seemingly a sign from the heavens above, his phone rang.

His mother.

This should go well.

He slid right on the screen, tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder. “Hello?”

 _“Koushi, honey!”_ his mother’s soprano voice carried through the receiver, making him smile. He missed her so much. _“Where are you right now? It sounds a little noisy.”_

“Oh, I’m at a little clothing store. You know, picking out some extra stuff for winter.”

_“That sounds nice, dear. How’re things going over there? How were finals?”_

“Well, I survived,” Koushi said. “I’m just trying to focus on my thesis right now. Now, that’s gonna be a pain in the ass.”

_“Language.”_

Koushi chuckled. “Sorry, Mom.”

_“Mom, is that Koushi on the phone?”_

_“Hm? Yes, it is.”_

_“Koushi!”_ came a voice that was growing deeper each year, a sure sign of a boy well on his way to becoming a young man. Michio, age 15, the oldest next to Koushi. Fiercely protective of his siblings, short-tempered, an academic prodigy with a tendency to get into trouble at school. _“Koushi, when are you coming home? Hisoka, Aiko won’t leave me alone. It’s ‘big brother’ this, and ‘big brother’ that. I can’t take it anymore!”_

Koushi laughed. Hisoka was eight, Aiko was seven, and both were incredibly upset when Koushi left for college, so they latched onto Michio swiftly after that, much to the teenager’s annoyance. “Consider it payback for all those years you drove me up a wall.”

 _“This isn’t funny, Koushi!”_ Michio huffed. _“I need help, they’re making me crazy! And don’t even get me started about Takeo!”_

Their parents were done having children after Aiko, so Takeo was unexpected, and due to their mother climbing in age, was a difficult birth. Their mother kept bleeding after he was born, and they almost lost him because of the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. Koushi had left in the middle of the week during school once he heard she had gone into labor and wasn’t doing so well. Takeo was the “miracle child.”

Koushi rolled his eyes. “Takeo is not even a year old yet, Michio.”

_“Koushi!”_

“All right, all right, calm down. I’ll be there a few days before Christmas, remember? On the 20th,” Koushi said. “Think you can hold out until then?”

_“Ugh, fine. Just get here ASAP, okay?”_

“As you command, Your Majesty.” Koushi shook his head in amusement. 

Yeah, Michio complained a lot, but Koushi knew he’d give up his right hand if it meant his siblings would be okay. He worked a part-time job at the town bakery to help out the family despite not needing to. And because he loved baking but Michio would never admit that aloud to anyone. The only reason Koushi knew is because when he was visiting home for spring break last year, he woke up to the smell of cookies and cakes baking at two in the morning because Michio was stressed out about his entrance exams coming up. Michio, with flour sweeping across his cheeks and through his strands of dark chestnut hair, was thoroughly embarrassed but all Koushi did was smile and help him pipe icing on the cakes no matter how much Michio teased him for his atrocious decorating.

 _“They really do miss you, Koushi.”_ His mother was back on the phone now. _“They can’t wait to see you. Even little Takeo.”_

Koushi moved forward in the line, thinking of the family picture in his living room that was taken a little less than a month ago when Koushi had gone home, with all of his brothers climbing on him, even little Takeo who had just been learning to crawl. “Takeo doesn’t even know who I am, Mom. He’s eight months old and he's seen me like three times.”

 _“You never know, dear. He just might remember you.”_ The smile was evident in her voice. She was excited for him to come home. _“At any rate, we’re all excited to see you. Hopefully your father won’t be on call.”_

“How _is_ Dad doing, by the way?”

_“Oh, he’s fine. He’s working right now.”_

Koushi’s father was a neurosurgeon who worked at the children’s hospital in Sendai, who hardly found any downtime at home since he was on call most of the time. The kids missed him at home, and it made it a little harder for their mother since she didn’t have her husband around to help, but Michio did whatever he could to pick up the slack. Koushi had brought up the idea of not going to graduate school so he could go back home and help take care of the kids, but his parents nearly tore him a new one when he suggested it. That was a conversation he didn’t like reliving.

“Okay, tell him I said hi.”

 _“I will,”_ she said, and she gasped when there was a loud crash in the background and a chorus of “Mom!” that sounded a lot like Michio. She sighed. _“Koushi, honey, I’m gonna have to call you back.”_

“Go easy on them, Mom.”

_“Let’s see what they broke first. Be safe out there, okay?”_

“Always.”

They hung up shortly after that, just as Koushi reached the register, and he hurried back to his place to, dropping the bags off outside the door and sending a quick text to Iwaizumi to let him know they were out there before going out to the grocery store. What could he make? There were a variety of recipes his father gave him to try, but he wasn’t sure how they’d come out. And what if Oikawa and Iwaizumi didn’t like it? They had yakisoba last night, and French toast for breakfast… Maybe he could make pancakes or waffles since Oikawa seemed to take a strong liking to syrup. It might cheer him up.

Koushi smiled. Yeah, that might work.

The supermarket was busy too, just as Koushi expected, but he weaved through the aisles easily even as he pushed the cart and avoided rambunctious children who may or may not have been paying attention and their parents trying to corral them out of the store. He moved through each of the sections, not really sticking to a list since he had an extra mouth to feed, two counting Iwaizumi, so he grabbed items at random as he saw them – milk, bread, eggs, fruit, frozen and fresh vegetables, a variety of snacks, cereals, and drinks. Koushi picked up a box of pancake mix to put in the cart and debated if he needed to grab another box.

Oikawa ate nearly all the French toast by himself this morning. And judging by the amount of times Koushi has gone out to dinner with Daichi and Iwaizumi and seeing how much each one can consume alone…

Yeah, two boxes wouldn’t hurt.

“Suga-san?” 

Koushi turned to find two familiar faces. “Tanaka? Ennoshita?”

“Suga-san!” Tanaka ran up and crushed Koushi into a hug. “Suga-san, I missed you!”

Koushi laughed, hugging his former underclassman back. “Hey! How have you guys been?”

Ennoshita smiled. “We’ve been good. This semester’s been crazy busy.”

“Same here.”

Tanaka and Ennoshita hadn’t changed much since their high school days. They’d grown taller, of course, acquired some more muscle, especially on Ennoshita’s part, and Tanaka, while still keeping it short, had grown his hair out a bit. And Koushi couldn’t help but see how good they were for each other. Tanaka had always radiated confidence, practically having it woven into his bones, and that seemed to have rubbed off on Ennoshita’s already burgeoning self-assurance. It was palpable in his gaze, in the way he carried himself, the way he smiled. 

And Koushi was so proud of them.

“Suga-san, you totally should’ve seen Chikara the other day!” Tanaka said.

Ennoshita rolled his eyes. “Ryuu, why are we talking about this again?”

“Because you’re a total badass, babe!” Tanaka said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Koushi chuckled, now wondering what trouble they had gotten themselves into now. “What happened?”

“Okay, so we were at the bar last Saturday – drinking, dancing, having a great time. And then this guy comes up to me, clearly drunk, and he starts flirting with me,” Tanaka explained. “I keep telling him that I’m happily taken, but he’s not listening to me. he tells me he doesn’t care and can do so much better than Chikara. Anyway, Chikara comes back from the bathroom and nearly tackles the guy when he tells him to back off. I thought for sure they were gonna fight. It was low key kind of terrifying.”

Ennoshita shrugged, indifference written all over him. “I’m not just gonna let some other shifter come in and put his hands all over you when you’ve already told them to back off. Besides, I gave him a warning. What happened next was his fault.”

Though Ennoshita acted like it didn’t bother him, Koushi could hear the heat in his words, the deep, protective snarl rippling in his chest even though this happened a full week ago. As a shifter, and like most shifters, Ennoshita was incredibly protective of his partner. And, despite what history led people to believe for centuries, shifters formed emotional bonds with others. It was a stronger and deeper connection, whether it be platonic or romantic, that many didn’t make an effort to understand.

And a shifter encroaching on another shifter’s partner? That was grounds for a fight across the board.

“But it was really hot, too,” Tanaka chuckled, slipping his arm around Ennoshita’s waist and nuzzling his cheek. “Never seen you get that riled up before, babe. Well, maybe when we’re –”

Ennoshita dealt a swift blow to Tanaka’s side, making the latter cringe and laugh.

Koushi shook his head, a wide smile pulling at his cheeks. “You two haven’t changed a bit. Almost makes me miss high school. Almost.”

“C’mon, Suga-san! You know you missed us,” Tanaka said.

“Only a little.”

“What have you been up to, Suga-san?” Ennoshita asked. “We haven’t seen you around much.” 

“Sorry, this thesis has been kicking me in the teeth,” Koushi said. _Not to mention my teacher may or may not be into me – inconvenience – and I have an unexpected house guest who’s been missing for the past 15 years wind up on my doorstep – not an inconvenience._ “But we should totally go and grab lunch sometime. I’d love to really catch up with you two.”

“We’re actually going to meet up with Asahi-san and Noya-san right now if you wanna join us,” Tanaka said. “We’d love to have you, and I know they’d be happy to see you.”

Koushi rubbed the back of his neck. “I’d be happy to, but I’m afraid I already made plans. Rain check?”

“Have you found better friends than us, Suga-san? Are you replacing us?”

Koushi laughed. “I could never replace you guys, Tanaka. I just made some plans with Iwaizumi and another friend of his. You remember him, right?”

“Oh yeah, Seijoh’s ace and captain, right?” Ennoshita said.

“That’s him.” Koushi nodded. “I’m making lunch so I figured I’d stock up while I’m at it.”

“Well, we don’t want to keep you, Suga-san.” Ennoshita smiled, taking Tanaka’s hand. “We’d better go before Noya blowing up our phones.”

Koushi could never forget the former libero of Karasuno and the current libero of Tokyo University. Not with his spontaneity and reliability on the court. “Yeah, good idea. He’s not exactly what you would call patient.”

Tanaka hugged Koushi again. “We should totally hang out, though. We miss ya. And you should totally bring Iwaizumi and his friend.”

“I’ll talk to them about it,” Koushi said, Oikawa’s anxiety running through his mind. “Tell Asahi and Noya I said hello.”

“You got it,” Ennoshita said. “It was great seeing you again.”

And Koushi waited until they were both out of sight before heading to the register, hoping that Oikawa and Iwaizumi were okay.

 

Koushi slid his shoes off, balancing the grocery bags on both arms, and walked into the living room where he found Oikawa perched by the bookshelf, thumbing through a novel. He was wearing some of his new clothes: black, loose-fitting sweatpants and a white t-shirt with a green alien head that said, “Get Lost.” Iwaizumi had gotten a real kick out of it and figured Oikawa would like it so they threw it in the pile. And it fit perfectly.

Oikawa whipped around, evidently startled like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He hid the book behind his back, his wolf ears folded back and tail still. But Koushi could see that some of the light from earlier today had returned, the anxiety peeling away from his muscles and allowing him to relax. His hair was damp, some strands still dripping. He must’ve showered.

Koushi smiled. “You can read anything that’s there. I don’t mind.” He moved to the kitchen and put the bags on the counter. “Where’s Iwaizumi?”

“On the phone,” Oikawa answered. “I can’t really hear him, but he sounded angry.”

“Ah, okay.” Koushi nodded. He spotted a towel resting on the arm of the couch and grabbed it before heading over to Oikawa who looked puzzled. “Your hair’s still wet. You’re gonna catch cold if you don’t dry it properly, you know.” He reached up with the towel. “Here, let me help.”

Oikawa paused, seemingly thinking this over, and then nodded, giving Koushi that permission to step that much closer. Koushi placed the towel over Oikawa’s head, gently rubbing the soft waves dry, and noticed that Oikawa’s eyes slipped closed, a serene look passing over his face as he leaned into the touch and let out a content sigh. Koushi smiled, continuing the gentle motions, making sure that every strand was dry. He checked by running his fingers through the curls nodded in satisfaction.

“There, perfect.” Koushi threw the towel back on the arm of the couch.

“Thank you,” Oikawa mumbled.

“No need.” Koushi shook his head and headed back to the kitchen, noticing that Oikawa was following quietly behind him, and started unpacking the groceries. “So, what’re you reading?”

“A book.” Oikawa shuffled on his feet.

Koushi chucked and opened the pantry door to put the boxes of fruit snacks on the shelf. “Well, yes, but what book? What’s it called? I buy new books I like but I never have the time to read them.”

Oikawa looked down at the book. “Um…”

Koushi placed a jar of peanut butter on the shelf. “Hm?”

“I… I, um…” Oikawa looked down at the book in his hands, running his fingers over the spine and the title printed into the book sleeve. “I… don’t know.”

Koushi paused, the refrigerator door halfway open, a bag of apples dangling in his hand. “What do you mean?”

“I… can’t read it,” Oikawa murmured. “I don’t know how.”

Koushi continued putting up the groceries, taking this one little fact in stride. “Well, we’ll just have to teach you.”

Oikawa’s ears stood upright. “You’d… you’d do that?”

“Of course! I’d be happy to. And I’m sure Iwaizumi will want to help, too. Let’s talk to him when he gets off the phone.”

Oikawa smiled, his tail wagging as he flipped through the pages.

Koushi smiled, picking up the box of pancake mix. “I was thinking of making breakfast for lunch. Pancakes. Ever had them?”

“I think so.”

“Wanna help me make them?”

“Sure!”

 

Tooru couldn’t stop smiling, even as he watched Suga pull out a large bowl and the measuring cup. He was going to learn how to read. Well, read more than he already could. He could read hiragana, katakana… but the kanji tripped him up. Just like the kanji in the title. He recognized some of the characters, but over the years he had forgotten their meaning. He had been sifting through the novels, his unbridled and burning curiosity getting the better of him, looking at each one, and picked the one with the most interesting cover. On this one it had two teenagers looking off into the distance, the boy wearing a concerned expression and the girl donning determination. He wanted to know what it was about, but reading the summary of it on the back was useless if he couldn’t, well, read.

“Can you tell me what it says?” Tooru asked.

“Sure thing.” Suga came over, coming to stand by Tooru’s side, his scent caressing Tooru’s sensitive nose. It was… comforting with Suga nearby. He felt safe, smelled of warmth and tenderness. He was all things bright and soft, his silver hair catching the sun perfectly. And Tooru loved his smile. “It says The Disappearance. These two kanji together say _shoshitsu.”_

Tooru stared at the characters, trying to commit them to memory, glancing back at Suga to make sure he was right. “Sho…”

_“Shoshitsu.”_

_“Shoshitsu.”_ Tooru’s mouth framed and curled around the foreign word. “To disappear. The Disappearance.”

Koushi nodded, smiling. “That’s exactly right. The English title just says, ‘Gone.’”

“Gone?”

“Mhmm.”

“What’s it about?” Tooru turned to the back of the book.

Koushi shook a decent amount of pancake mix into the bowl. “Hmm, well, basically everyone over the age of 15 in this little town in Southern California just suddenly disappears one day. Some of the teenagers start developing superpowers and they try to survive through hunger, betrayal, and even the monster that’s trying to kill them all. It’s a really great series that I loved as a teenager. I still love it. There’s six books in the series, and I read all of them under a month.”

Tooru continued going through the pages, eyes flying over the unfamiliar words. “I wanna read it… when I can.”

“We can go over to the bookstore at some point and you can pick out as many books as you want.”

That idea really sounded appealing. An entire place filled with books, filled with a pastime he was sure he enjoyed in the time before the Darkness. The smell of freshly bound pages, colorful pictures, words that he could understand. Tooru wanted to read, wanted to write. But… after today…

“Okay.” Tooru put the book down on the table and watched as Suga poured water into the powder filling the bowl about halfway. “What can I help with?”

“You can mix this together.” Suga held out a fork.

Oikawa took the utensil, stirring the mix starting to clump together. Suga told him to do it nice and easy to avoid making a mess, to keep going until all the giant mounds were gone, and Tooru did exactly that, trying not to worry when some of the batter dribbling down the sides of the bowl. Suga didn’t draw any attention to it, just wiped it up with a napkin and smiled. And Tooru found himself smiling back.

He watched Suga make the pancakes, the smell wafting over him, the warm sweetness of it bringing a familiar tingle in the back of his mind, a spark of something akin to a memory. A memory of looking over a kitchen counter in a home he no longer lived in, standing on his tiptoes, watching slender hands work with exercised practice as they stirred the contents in a bowl, his tail wagging with excitement much like it was now. He remembered a waterfall of brown curls, framing a face he couldn’t quite see. And he heard a voice, saying words that he couldn’t understand through the garbled mess of passing time. She was everything known. But he didn’t know who she was.

Tooru wondered how Iwaizumi was doing. When they came back to Suga’s apartment, when Oikawa was still shaking with fear and sobs, Iwaizumi had held him until he calmed and ran a bath shortly after. It had unwound his muscles, the steam fogging over the experience in the store. The new clothes – his clothes – were soft on his skin, light and breathable. A short time had passed before there was the trill of a cellphone, and Iwaizumi had only glanced at it before anger overcame him, rage peeling off of his scent in overwhelming pulses, pulling taut at the atmosphere like a rubber band, threatening to snap. He had told Tooru not to worry, that he was only going to the next room to make a phone call. But Tooru was worried. He had heard snippets of the conversation behind the closed bedroom door, his concern spiking when it fell silent.

And that’s when Suga came in.

Suga had protected him in the store. Suga had held him, didn’t let the people take him, didn’t let the Darkness take him. And now Suga was going to teach him how to read.

“Oikawa-san?” Suga’s voice brought him back. 

Tooru blinked. “Hm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Oh, uh, yes.”

“Are you sure?”

Oikawa stopped, nodded. “Yes.”

“Are you still hungry?”

“Yes.”

Suga smiled. “Good. Here.” He held out a plate stacked with four pancakes. “Go ahead and dig in.”

Tooru took it, heading to the table. “What about Iwa-chan?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll save a plate for Iwaizumi that way he can join us when he’s done.”

Tooru nodded, sitting down. Suga set the bottle of syrup next to Tooru’s plate, and Tooru could feel the sweet, smooth moving slowly across his tongue. And he smiled as he poured it over the pancakes, cutting into them easily. Suga sat down in the chair adjacent to him with just a bottle of water and his phone in front of him.

“Are you gonna eat, too?” Tooru asked.

“Oh, I’m not really hungry,” Suga said. “I ate earlier.”

“With your friend?”

Suga nodded.

Tooru knew of only one friend Suga had, aside from Iwaizumi. “Not Daichi?”

“No, not Daichi. He’s out of town visiting his family.” Suga picked at his nails, at the cuticle. There was a slight flicker in Suga’s expression, a twitch in his brow, in his mouth that hinted towards a frown, in his scent that read of irritation, but it was gone as soon as it came. “You, uh, haven’t met this friend yet.”

Tooru was quiet for a moment, continuing to eat and not really paying attention to how fast he was going or how much he was stuffing in. He didn’t know exactly how to feel about this “friend” if Suga reacted like that when they were mentioned. He hadn’t known Suga for very long, but all he knew was that he wanted Suga to be happy. He wanted Suga… to smile.

“Do you like them?” Suga asked. “The pancakes?”

Tooru looked up, his mouth full enough to the point he resembled a chipmunk storing nuts for the winter, nodded, and Suga burst into laughter. Tooru blinked a few times, wondering what could possibly be so funny, and finished swallowing the food in his mouth, opting to listen to Suga’s laugh than dwell on what, or rather who, he was laughing at. It was light, mirthful, pleasant on his ears. Like the mellow stream running through his toes when he was a child.

He liked Suga’s laugh, too.

A door shut further in the apartment, drawing their attention, and Iwaizumi came back in, that same anger crackling off him like thunder and lightning, a hurricane of emotions. The rubber band stretched.

Tooru stopped, a forkful of pancakes halfway to his mouth, and he dropped it back to the plate as Iwaizumi sat next to him. “Iwa-chan?”

“Iwaizumi, are you okay?” Suga asked.

Iwaizumi ran his fingers through his hair, frustration fresh in his eyes. “My parents are on their way. They’re like right down the street.”

“Wait, they’re coming here?”

“Yeah. Apparently if you convince the phone company enough by saying that your 14-year-old son has run away from home and you can’t find him, you can get a GPS location.” He sighed. “I was gonna see if they’d be willing to meet me back at my place so I don’t drag you two into this, but they’re worried I’m gonna make a run for it.” Iwaizumi scoffed now, drumming his fingers on the table. “Unbelievable. I’m their only son and they don’t trust me in the slightest. I’m really sorry about this, Suga. I know dealing with my family drama wasn’t how you planned to start your winter break.”

“Don’t worry about it, Iwaizumi,” Suga said, going over and placing his hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. “It’s not a problem. They’re your parents.”

And as Tooru listened to these words, watched Iwaizumi put his head in his hands, he felt a pit worm deep into his stomach. After all these years, after being taken from them so suddenly, after forgetting their faces within the Darkness, he’d finally see Iwaizumi’s parents again. So, why did he flinch when he heard footsteps coming up the steps outside, when there was a knock on the door?

Iwaizumi rose to his feet, Suga and Tooru following a few feet away. With his hand on the doorknob, jaw set, he said, “I’m gonna talk to them outside, okay? Maybe I can try to convince them one more time. I’ll be back. Oikawa, stay here with Suga and I’ll tell you when you can come outside.”

Tooru shook his head and caught Iwaizumi’s hand, the pit growing deeper and deeper. It hurt. “I wanna go outside with you, Iwa-chan. I don’t wanna leave you alone.”

“I won’t be alone, Oikawa.” He put his hands on Tooru’s shoulders, attempting a smile. “I know you’re here, and I know Suga is here, too. I promise, I’ll be okay. It’s just my parents. But I need you to stay inside with Suga while I handle this.” He took a deep breath. “My parents, they… they’re having a hard time coming to terms with you being back. I need to talk to them.”

Tooru stayed silent, keeping his hand on Iwaizumi’s. “Iwa-chan…”

“Trust me, okay?”

Tooru’s stomach clenched, his instincts on overdrive. “…okay.”

“Thank you. This shouldn’t take long.”

“Take as much time as you need,” Suga said. 

Iwaizumi nodded. Opened the door. And went outside.

Suga had led Tooru to the couch at some point, and Tooru wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Maybe hours. Maybe minutes. Maybe just seconds. The world almost disappeared around him. He hadn’t stopped fidgeting – his leg bounced up and down, his tail switched back and forth, his ears flicked towards the hushed whispers just outside the door. He reeked with agitation, with anxiety. He knew that. And Suga had placed a cup of oolong tea in front of him on the coffee table at some point but Tooru couldn’t bring himself to drink it. Not when he could hear the conversation.

 _“…Mom, Dad, listen to me…”_ Iwaizumi… he sounded so tired. Desperate.

A man’s voice he didn’t recognize chimed in. _“No, Hajime… We’re fed up with your lies…”_

_“Dad, you’re not –”_

_“Hajime, stop! Just stop it! I won’t tolerate this anymore! Tooru is gone! He’s been gone for 15 years!”_ a woman now. She had to have been crying, her voice hoarse in her upset.

Tooru scratched his arm, feeling something rising within him. Something he didn’t quite understand. The rubber band stretched even more. He homed in on the conversation, their words becoming clearer, louder, despite the solid wall muffling everything.

_“I know that, Mom, but if you’d just listen to me for two seconds –”_

_“I’ve had it! Let it go!”_

_“You’re upsetting your mother, Hajime. That’s enough.”_

Tooru stood up, garnering Suga’s attention.

“Oikawa-san?” Suga said, sounding distant and garbled even though he was right next to him on the couch, his quiet, sock clad footsteps following Tooru to the door.

Tooru stopped right at the threshold, listening, waiting. His heart hammering. His blood rushing. His stomach rolling, fists clenching. His ears filled with the agitated fluctuation in Iwaizumi’s tone. A filter passed over him, clouding his vision, his judgment, Iwaizumi’s request for him to stay inside with Suga. Something rumbled within his chest, vibrated through his bones.

There was only one thing he focused on, the one thing he repeated in his mind like a mantra: _protect, protect, protect._

Protect Iwaizumi.

_“Dad, if you’d just –”_

_“Stop it, Hajime!”_

There was a thud, making Suga jump, Iwaizumi’s back colliding with unforgiving brick, causing a strangled grunt to come out of him.

The rubber band snapped.

And at that moment, all Tooru saw was red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Sorry about reposting the same chapter twice. ao3 was being an ass with the formatting.
> 
> That new AOT episode though.
> 
> GAVE ME CHILLS.
> 
> Also, the Gone series by Michael Grant was my shit in middle school and high school. I highly recommend it, teenager or not.
> 
> Hit me up on tumblr at tenacioustooru


	6. introduced species

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doorbell chimed when they walked into the bookstore, the smell of freshly bound pages and coffee overcoming the complicated mess of the outside world, and Koushi immediately felt at ease. He loved it here. And judging by Oikawa’s widened eyes, he’d come to like it, too.

Koushi didn’t react fast enough.

Oikawa was there, standing at the door, listening to the conversation Koushi couldn’t hear outside of the deep baritones of Iwaizumi and his father and the higher, alto pitch of his mother. It was clear they had been arguing, ignoring Iwaizumi’s attempts to convince them, to believe in him when he needed them to the most. A low rumble resided in the apartment, and Koushi for sure thought it was thundering until he looked back to Oikawa, who hadn’t moved an inch, and realized it was coming from him. Then there was a thud, a sound that made Koushi jump and his skin crawl. He blinked and the door was wide open, the wind casting out the warmth of the apartment, blowing right past where Oikawa was once standing.

Shit.

“Oikawa!” Iwaizumi said.

And Koushi was on the move. He didn’t even bother putting shoes on, and any other time he would’ve regretted not doing so, but he welcomed the cold seeping through his socks. Chilling him to the bone as everything in him drowned out the plane roaring overhead, the steady hum of traffic, the rest of Tokyo. Because it kept him anchored to the scene before him.

Iwaizumi’s back was against the wall, his hands curled around his father’s wrists in a clear attempt to try and pry the man’s hands out of his jacket as his mother stood off to the side, but they were all staring in the same direction, their eyes wide with shock and unabashed fear in the older couple. Koushi was stuck, frozen, barely able to suck in the shallow breaths his body offered.

Oikawa was bristling, his hair and the fur on his tail on end, his ears and tail raised and upright, sharpened canines bared, growls and snarls ripping from his throat as he crouched low. Muscles coiled. Ready to pounce. His glare was burning, seething, boring holes into Iwaizumi’s parents and giving one clear message: _Get away from him._

Iwaizumi’s father released his son, but was clearly too frightened to move any further.

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi said, voice low. “Tooru, calm down.”

The woman’s eyes went any wider if that was possible, looking back at her son. “Tooru?” She turned back to Oikawa. “That’s…?”

Oikawa didn’t respond, didn’t even seem to register she was speaking to him over the protective haze that had crashed over him. His eyes never left Iwaizumi’s parents, daring them to make another move, and Koushi feared the absolute worst. If Oikawa were to attack, the police would get involved. The chances of Oikawa being discovered by whatever organization was looking him would rise exponentially. 

No. No, he couldn’t let that happen.

He glanced at Iwaizumi, meeting those usually composed hazel eyes that were now a swirling mix of green, and blue, and uncertainty, asking silently what he should do. If he could do anything. The slightest touch could set Oikawa off. A lit firecracker in his palm. He swallowed the billowing panic, his mouth incredibly dry, tongue feeling swollen in his mouth, a bead of sweat rolling down his back.

Iwaizumi just shook his head, a subtle movement, urging Koushi not to move. And now that he was free, he inched forward, hands up in a placating gesture and kept his voice low, unassuming, bringing coherency. “Oikawa, calm down. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

Koushi waited, watched. 

Iwaizumi took another step, reaching out, and placed his hands on Oikawa’s shoulders, and that seemed to help clear the fog that had settled. Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi, more focused now, gentler, his growls softening to a faint thunder, still audible, still imposing, still making everyone hold their breath.

“Mom, Dad – go back to the car,” Iwaizumi said.

“But Hajime, that’s…” his mother trailed off.

Iwaizumi looked over his shoulder to face her. “I know who it is, Mom. And he’s not very happy with you two right now, so I suggest that you go back to the car.”

“Hajime, we’re not gonna leave you here with him.” Iwaizumi’s father shook his head, moving towards his son, and Koushi wished they would just listen for once. 

He felt helpless just standing off to the wayside. But the last thing he needed to do was make this worse.

Oikawa caught the movement and sunk lower into his stance, his darkening, razor-sharp eyes falling back on them, a typhoon as they echoed nothing but a fierce need to protect his best friend, someone he’d been torn away from for 15 years, and his growls increased in volume and intensity. A reaction to guard his loved ones grounded into his very DNA. It was instinct. Something he couldn’t control.

Iwaizumi’s parents backed up further, his father standing in front of his mother. “Hajime –”

“Would you just listen to me for once and go back to the car?” Iwaizumi shouted, turning to face them when he didn’t hear them leave. _“Go!”_

The duo finally conceded, heading back down the concrete steps.

Iwaizumi sighed, finally able to focus all his attention on a still riled up Oikawa who followed their every move to make sure they truly did as told. “Hey. Hey, Oikawa. Look at me.”

Oikawa looked back to Iwaizumi after a moment, the adrenaline continuing to roar in his eyes as reason returned to him, and Koushi could breathe again without feeling like the situation was going to collapse. “Iwa-chan…”

“I’m here, Oikawa. I’m here.”

Oikawa relaxed, muscles unwinding as he straightened out of his crouch, realization of what almost happened washing over him as easily and bitterly as the afternoon cold embracing them. But it seemed as if he didn’t regret it. “Are you… okay?”

“I’m fine,” Iwaizumi said. “Are you okay?”

Oikawa didn’t respond and instead hugged Iwaizumi, burying his face in his friend’s tufts of dark hair, inhaling deep, anchoring himself. A few whimpers bubbled past his throat, a stark contrast to the sounds coming from him just moments before, and he tightened his hold. His ears folded to the side, his tail fell. He was scared. “They hurt you… He… he hurt you.”

Iwaizumi patted Oikawa’s back, rubbing soothing circles on the latter’s shoulder blades. “I’m fine. I’m not hurt. He was just upset. Granted, that’s no excuse but that’s why.”

Oikawa growled, hushed but still enough to express his discontent at that statement.

“I promise I’m fine.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Thank you for coming to help, though. I appreciate it.”

Oikawa nuzzled his face into the crook of Iwaizumi’s neck. “I don’t want Iwa-chan to get hurt.”

Iwaizumi smiled.

Koushi leaned back against the wall, knocking his head against the brick, and sighed, watching as his breath rose higher and higher into the air before dissipating. The world was coming back to him now, steadily, an unwavering fact that would never change. He knew he was shaking, and he knew it wasn’t because of the cold whispering over him either. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. Was it because Iwaizumi’s father put his hands on his only son, pushing him back on the wall when there was no reason to? Was it because he’d never seen a shifter on the verge of attacking before, teeth bared, snarls loud and foreboding and threatening? Was he scared? Yeah, this could very well have been fear. But not because Iwaizumi’s parents could’ve gotten hurt if Iwaizumi wasn’t there to settle Oikawa down.

It was the fact that Oikawa could’ve been taken away.

“Suga? Are you okay?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Huh?” Koushi turned to meet Iwaizumi’s concerned gaze. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry about all this, Suga. Truly I am.”

Koushi waved his hand. “It’s not a big deal, Iwaizumi. This is a huge deal. I understand.” He glanced back to the car below them in the parking lot, seeing the silhouettes of Iwaizumi’s parents arguing in pantomime. “You might wanna finish this up, though. I have a feeling they’re not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“You’ve met them for all of five minutes and you know them already,” Iwaizumi said. He sighed. “Oikawa, will you stay up here with Suga while I go –”

“No,” Oikawa said.

“Oikawa, I have to finish –”

“No. I’m going with Iwa-chan. I have to protect Iwa-chan.”

“Oikawa –”

“I don’t mean to butt into family business, but I don’t see the harm in letting him stick around, Iwaizumi,” Koushi said, now trusting himself enough to speak. “He’ll feel comfortable, you’ll still get to talk to your parents.”

“I just…” Iwaizumi paused, gnawing on his bottom lip. “I didn’t want him to hear anything… unpleasant.”

“Well, now that your father’s put his hands on you, Oikawa’s not just gonna sit idly by. He wants to make sure you’re safe, Iwaizumi. And I don’t blame him. He doesn’t have to be standing right there next to you. He can be off to the side.”

Iwaizumi looked back to Oikawa, back to the expectant look in his friend’s eyes. The worry was clearly palpable in his eyes, in the way he held his shoulders. Iwaizumi was clearly worried about what his parents would say, had been this entire time, and with Oikawa having just coming back the last thing he needed to know was that someone was reacting negatively to his presence. Oikawa didn’t need to think that he was being a burden to anyone when he absolutely wasn’t. Well, hopefully seeing would be believing. And judging from the look on the couple’s faces, they believed Iwaizumi wholeheartedly.

And then he nodded. “All right. All right, you can come.”

Oikawa visibly eased.

“I’ll be inside if you need anything,” Koushi said.

Iwaizumi smiled. It was small but grateful. “Thank you, Suga.”

“No need.”

And Koushi slipped back inside, releasing the breath he’d been holding, the pressure sitting on his chest as soon as the door clicked shut. His phone trilled in from somewhere in the living room, the sound of the surface it was vibrating on indicating that it was sitting somewhere on the coffee table, and Koushi willed himself to move. He inhaled deeply, taking in the early morning touch of coffee and French toast, a smidge of oolong tea, and the stronger, more recent batch of afternoon pancakes. He clung to that, let it ground him.

He put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

 _“Hey.”_ Daichi’s voice. That, too, was comforting. _“You okay?”_

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”

_“Suga.”_

“I’m fine, Daichi. I’m fine, just…” he inhaled. Exhaled. “I’m fine.”

Koushi wanted to tell him what was going on, he really did. Their lives had been integrated since they were practically in diapers, so the last thing he wanted to do was keep his best friend out of the loop. But that would mean exposing one of Oikawa’s deepest secrets, a secret that he entrusted Koushi to, a secret that Iwaizumi entrusted him to. Oikawa didn’t know Daichi that well. Didn’t trust him enough. An hour of conversation was nowhere near enough to know someone. Koushi himself wasn’t even supposed to know. And Oikawa may not even trust Koushi that much anyway.

_“You don’t sound fine.”_

“I never sound fine to you.”

_“Smartass.”_

“Are you okay? How’s your dad doing?”

Daichi was silent for a moment, and Koushi knew he was debating on whether to answer the question and take the focus off Koushi’s well-being. He sighed. _“My dad’s fine. Just peachy. You know, considering he’s more willing to talk to a bottle of sake than his own son but whatever.”_ Daichi’s words were jagged, cutting even though Koushi knew they weren’t directed at him. Daichi always thought himself to be a foundation, a pillar for people to lean on for support. But buried underneath that nonchalant attitude was his best friend who was hurting. Aching. And trying not to show it.

Daichi and his mother were very close. They were each other’s right hand. Distance of course always made it hard to visit often, but they all made it work. A well-oiled machine of cogs and screws that fit and ran smoothly. They were a unit. Daichi thrived on that – unity. He always made sure people stayed together whether that be family, teammates, friends, whatever. He was the glue. And now that there was no chance of him being able to keep his parents together…

The background surrounding Daichi was quiet. There were no cheesy jokes being made, no dramatic soap operas humming from the old TV Daichi’s father refused to fix. It was silent. Empty. Something that Daichi hated. Koushi clenched his fist around the phone.

_“I’m sorry, Suga. I know this isn’t your fault.”_

“Don’t apologize. You’re going through a lot right now.” Koushi flicked a piece of lint from his pants. “Did you wanna talk about it?”

 _“Not really,”_ Daichi said. _“How are Iwaizumi and Oikawa doing?”_

Koushi thought back to only minutes before this phone call. And thought about the minutes after. “They’re fine. Practically inseparable.” _Though I don’t exactly blame them._ “Oikawa’s opened up a lot more now that Iwaizumi’s here.”

_“I’m glad to hear that.”_

“Iwaizumi’s probably gonna be staying with me for a few days until other arrangements get sorted out, so if you’re feeling up to it after you come back you should totally come over so we can have a little Christmas party together or something.”

_“That sounds like a great idea. But aren’t you going back home to visit your family for Christmas?”_

“I am, but you’ll be back before then, right? It’ll work out perfectly.”

_“How are things going with your family, by the way? Is Takeo doing okay?”_

“Yeah, I talked to my mom this morning and she said things are fine. Hisoka and Aiko are being the golden children they are and Michio has taken to them so well. Takeo is, well, being a baby. Not sure how else to put it.”

Daichi chuckled. _“Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly how things are going.”_

“My siblings are angels. I’m offended that you think otherwise.”

_“Come talk to me after they soak your shirt and stick it in the freezer or let a frog crawl on your face.”_

Koushi groaned. He remembered both of those incidents almost too well. “Or the time when they thought it was a good idea to bring a bottle of ants home from the playground.” He laughed, fond of the memory. “God, I thought Mom and Dad were gonna have a cow. I was spraying the house for weeks after they got out.”

_“I remember that. I helped you.”_

“I’d never gotten so trigger happy with insect spray before.”

_“Yeah, you used half the can on two ants.”_

“Not my fault they wouldn’t die. And I left them there for the rest of their little ant buddies to see and get the message.”

_“I’m never saying you’re nice ever again. It’s false advertising.”_

“You love me.”

_“Only if you use the term loosely.”_

“Shut up.” A gust blew through the receiver, breaking the reception. “Are you outside?” Koushi asked.

 _“Yeah,”_ Daichi said. _“I just… couldn’t sit around in that house anymore, Suga.”_

“I understand.”

_“Are you busy right now?”_

Koushi paused, remembering Iwaizumi and Oikawa were still outside. “No, not right now.”

_“Do you think… you could stay on the phone with me? Just for a while?”_

Koushi smiled, soft and bitter. “Of course.”

 

The days came and went, easy and smooth, rain pouring over Tokyo in spouts, sporadic, and for the most part unpredictable enough to where Koushi resorted to taking an umbrella with him every time he went out. Much like today. He laced up his boots, standing in the doorway with umbrella in hand. The forecast promised rain, and with the way those clouds were looming overhead it looked like they’d deliver. The conversation between Iwaizumi and his parents sort of died away, buried, ending with Iwaizumi simply saying that he didn’t know if he’d go back to Osaka for Christmas, not with the way his parents were acting. And Koushi left it at that.

Koushi found that he rather enjoyed the constant company Iwaizumi and Oikawa brought, the way conversation flowed through them, Oikawa contributing the more he came out of his shell, going through Koushi’s DVD collection and even the films Iwaizumi brought over from his place, and Iwaizumi and Koushi having a sort of cook-off and asking Oikawa to decide who was better. (Oikawa refused to pick.) And while Koushi did enjoy the solitude offered by not having a roommate, he did enjoy having them.

But there was still that one question plaguing his thoughts, infecting this almost too blissful picture: when would the people looking for Oikawa rear their ugly heads? When would this all come to an end?

Oikawa zipped up his jacket, excitement and anticipation dancing in his eyes with the slightest tinge of anxiety. What happened the last time in the clothing store had to be lurking somewhere in his mind, foreboding and leaving doubts of it happening again. But Oikawa had asked to go.

He wanted to go to the bookstore.

He wanted to learn to read.

Iwaizumi came up to his side, ruffling Oikawa’s hair. “You might wanna tuck those in.”

“Oh.” Oikawa glanced up at his ears and shook his head, making them disappear. “There!”

Iwaizumi smiled, lifting Oikawa’s hood over his head. “Just in case.”

Oikawa slipped on his tennis shoes, tying the crisp, new laces, and wriggled his toes around inside. He stood up, bouncing gently on the tips of his toes and pouted at the shoes like they’d done something wrong. “They still feel weird, Iwa-chan.” 

“You’ll get used to them.” Iwaizumi chuckled.

Koushi couldn’t help but be amused, too. Oikawa confided in them that he hadn’t worn shoes the entire time he was “away” – that was the term he used, “away” – and Koushi felt his heart jump in his throat. Oikawa didn’t talk much about the 15 years that were ripped away from him. At least not to Koushi. Bits were revealed, jagged pieces to an already intricate puzzle. All he said was that when he grew out of the shoes, when the fabric had torn and the soles were worn thin, when his toes ached because they no longer had room, the people who took him didn’t give him anything else. And when the clothes he was wearing were riddled with dirt, reeked of stagnant water, they threw him the grey clothes he was wearing when Koushi found him, just giving him larger sizes as the years dragged on.

“I just got used to it,” he had said.

And that was when Koushi and Iwaizumi came to the silent conclusive agreement that they would make sure Oikawa had everything he needed – clothes, food, a roof over his head, a warm bed to sleep in. Iwaizumi dove into his savings account for their shopping trips, and Koushi had money his parents had given him for emergencies only, and Koushi considered this just that.

“We’d let you go barefoot if there wasn’t risk of you catching cold, Oikawa-san,” Koushi said. “You don’t need to get sick.”

Oikawa kept his pout but nodded, looking up when thunder rumbled softly over them.

“We’d better go now if we wanna beat the storm,” Iwaizumi said, picking up a spare umbrella by the door that Koushi said he could borrow. “I’d rather avoid getting rained on, if it’s all the same to you two.”

“Agreed,” Koushi said.

It was 2:00 on a Wednesday afternoon, December 13th, after the initial lunch rush, so pedestrian traffic had died down considerably. But that didn’t mean any less vehicles were crowding the streets. The bookstore was only a few blocks away, six at the most, and they could try their hand at taking Koushi’s or Iwaizumi’s car and fighting through it, but there was also the chance that they’d be caught at a standstill from people hurrying home in a flurry of honking horns and squealing brakes. Then again, there was Oikawa’s lingering anxiety that spiked when he was around large groups of people. Being in crowded in Tokyo was kind of a given, a fact of life, and the last thing Koushi wanted to do was make Oikawa uncomfortable. Koushi never wanted to see fear breaking him down like that ever again. But he could see the curiosity in Oikawa’s eyes, the pure want to be out in a world he’d been kept from. It just took some getting used to – being surrounded by noise when there once was none, bathing in sunlight when was washed in darkness. Oikawa wanted to experience everything.

And who were they to rob him of that?

“Oikawa, did you want one of us to drive there or did you wanna walk?” Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa paused, weighing his options just as much as Koushi weighed them. The gears were turning, the verdict was coming in. “I wanna walk.”

Koushi smiled, and Oikawa smiled right back.

As they moved through the waves of people, an awkward dance of dodging elbows, shopping bags, and people stopping right in the middle of the sidewalk to talk to familiar face, Oikawa didn’t look down this time. His hand was still fisted tight into Iwaizumi’s hoodie, but his gaze wasn’t trained on each crack of the sidewalk, on every nook sprouting trampled blades of grass. His head was lifted higher, though not quite making eye contact with others, and even under the obscurity offered by the hood Koushi could see his nose twitching with each sniff, the intake of new smells – the musk of the oncoming storm, the fresh mochi, the thick aroma of a steakhouse, vibrant flowers wafting through with each jingle of the flower shop doorbell opening, the tooth-achingly sweet bakery that reminded Koushi of his brother with its jelly pastries, cakes, and muffins, a place that Koushi was sure Oikawa would love. Iwaizumi would probably scold him, but Koushi was known to be an enabler, and what Iwaizumi didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

The doorbell chimed when they walked into the bookstore, the smell of freshly bound pages and coffee overcoming the complicated mess of the outside world, and Koushi immediately felt at ease. He loved it here. And judging by Oikawa’s widened eyes, he’d come to like it, too. It wasn’t very busy, something that all three of them were thankful for, but there was still plenty of conversations buzzing around them to give the place the lively vibe that was ready to jump off the pages of each and every book.

Iwaizumi pointed towards the back of the store. “Children’s section?”

Koushi nodded. That’d be easiest. And when they headed back, Oikawa, this time, chose not to wander off on his own.

The children’s section was, while noticeably different from the reset of the store with its walls painted with joyous animals living in harmony in the depths of a jungle, was still integrated nicely with the everything else, the picture books and sing-a-long stories thinning out into a small parenting section before expanding into mysteries, romance, suspense, sci-fi, and so many more. The children’s section of course had its own genres that suited a variety of interests, though sans romance for the most part, and Iwaizumi and Koushi could see that Oikawa was itching to dive into it all. To satisfy his curiosity. To sate this thirst for the knowledge that he was deprived of.

“Which ones do I get?” Oikawa asked, his eyes scanning over the choices lined up on the shelves.

“Whichever ones you want,” Koushi said, smiling at both Iwaizumi’s and Oikawa’s incredulous gazes when they found themselves in the fantasy section. “Pick whatever you want. If it seems interesting, get it.”

“Anything?” Oikawa repeated.

“Anything.”

Oikawa, though not going too far, went further down the aisle, crouching down to take a look at his options. Over the past few days, Koushi and Iwaizumi both worked with Oikawa in helping him figure out what words meant or said, nursing his want to meld back and function in society at some point. Sometimes it was something on he caught on TV or something he saw in the gossipy tabloids in the newspaper, or even in the music Iwaizumi played softly each morning as he got ready. Oikawa could read up to about a second-grade level, bordering on third, so they made sure to take him to the appropriate area so he could build confidence but also receive a bit of a challenge and learn.

“Are you sure about this, Suga? Books aren’t exactly cheap,” Iwaizumi said.

“I told you, I don’t mind.” Koushi slipped a book out from the row. It was about a dinosaur that had lost its family and teamed up with a wild child to try and find them. “Besides, it’s not like I’m the only one paying for them. You’re chipping in, too.”

“Yeah, but –”

“Nu-uh, no more buts or apologies for the rest of the time you’re under my roof. Trust me, if I couldn’t do it I wouldn’t have offered.”

Iwaizumi scoffed. “Yeah, you would’ve.”

“Okay, yeah maybe.” Koushi huffed. “But that still doesn’t change the fact that I can help and that I’m going to help.” He put the book back. He didn’t know if Oikawa would like that one or not. “Oh, before I forget, I talked to Daichi earlier and he told me to tell you hi.”

A flush creeped along Iwaizumi’s cheeks, a nice and deep red hue, and he turned his attention to the array of books. “Oh, he did? How’s he doing? I haven’t really heard from him.”

“He’s doing all right,” Koushi said. _Ready to come back and be with people he actually likes. Specifically you. But still._ “Ready to come back. He misses us.”

“Yeah, it’s not the same without him,” Iwaizumi said, quieter, an ‘I miss him’ somewhere in that statement, though it seemed to be more to himself than to Koushi. “I just hope he’s doing okay with all these storms. He’s never been a fan of them.”

“It’s something he’s been struggling with since he was a kid and he’s pretty embarrassed about it, so I appreciate you not treating him like he’s any less of an adult for being afraid. He’s gotten better, but still. He’ll completely shut down sometimes during the big ones.”

Iwaizumi shook his head. “What kind of friend would I be if I did that?” He plucked a book from the shelf, one about a magic treehouse. “We’re still gonna do that mini-Christmas thing, right? Just us?”

Koushi nodded. “Of course. I think it’d be good for all of us, with finals stressing us out and all. And especially Oikawa-san.”

A smile played at the corner of Iwaizumi’s mouth as he watched his best friend pick up book after book. “It’ll be his first Christmas in a while. I want it to be a good one.”

“By the way,” Koushi said, “you two are more than welcome to tag along with me to Miyagi for Christmas if you like. Of course, discuss it with Oikawa-san since I’m not sure how comfortable he’d be around people he hasn’t met, but know that the offer is on the table.”

“You sure that’s okay with your family?”

“Definitely. They’ve been telling me to bring friends over for the past… forever. Trust me, they’d love to have you. My mom loves entertaining guests.”

“Oh, well –”

“Iwa-chan, Suga!” Oikawa came over with at least five books tucked in his arms, practically bouncing on his feet, his quiet voice spilling over in excitement. “I found some I liked! And I could some of read them!”

“What’d you get?” Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa showed Iwaizumi and Suga the books he picked out, a few of them renditions of the books Koushi remembered reading when he was younger, in second and third grade, but most of them were about wolves. Fairy tales, fables – they were centered around a wolf or had a wolf in it. Koushi smiled. Oikawa wanted to know more about the other half of himself, the form passed down from generation to generation in his genes, and since his parents were no longer around to teach him…

“These are great,” Iwaizumi said as he grabbed a tote bag the store offered and held it open. “Here – I’ll hold onto them while you keep looking.”

Oikawa nodded, heading out to make his choices.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to stop by the nature section before we go,” Iwaizumi said.

“Yeah, sure. For what?”

“I’m gonna grab some books on wolves. I… don’t know much about them. And none of the books written about shifters have anything since they’re so rare. Well, the history of how shifters came to be might, but even then it’s nothing that might help explain why he does what he does. I want him to understand, I want him to know what his parents didn’t have the opportunity to teach him.”

It might have sounded strange to anyone listening, but Koushi understood.

They carried on throughout the bookstore, Oikawa showing him books he thought looked interesting and Koushi and Iwaizumi showing hi the ones they remembered in their childhood. Oikawa absorbed everything, his eyes flying over the pictures and words. The tote bag was almost brimming with books, and Iwaizumi went to the nature section to pick up the books he needed and said that he would meet them at the checkout while Koushi and Oikawa hung around the fairytale section for a little while longer.

They were the only ones there in the aisle, and Oikawa leaned back against the shelf, comfortable, thumbing through a book about a wolf living in the woods near a small village. Pictures were scattered throughout the book to accompany the scene on the opposite, skilled, vibrant illustrations of the forest surrounding the village and the mountains beyond that, the quaint village with its wood houses and cozy fires, and the curious wolf that teetered along the edge of civilization and nature, that Koushi could only imagine the number of hours that went into it. The amount of sleep lost.

“Are you scared of me now, Suga?” Oikawa piped up.

Koushi blinked a few times, the question coming completely from left field, and sat down next to the shifter. “Scared? Why would I be scared?”

“Because of what happened with Iwa-chan’s parents. I was… I got… I just - you didn’t look or smell scared, but…” Oikawa looked down at his hands, wringing them together and his eyes went everywhere but directly at Koushi’s face, perhaps not wanting to face the rejection that may lie there even when there was none.

“I’m not scared of you, Oikawa-san. I honestly never was, even when we first met.” Koushi smiled when meeting Oikawa’s widened eyes. “I understand why you did what you did. You thought Iwaizumi was in danger. You were protecting someone who was important to you, someone precious, and there’s no fault in doing so.”

Upon mentioning Iwaizumi’s parents, Oikawa let out a low, dissatisfied growl, bringing his knees up to his chest and hooking his arms around them. “I don’t like them all that much.” He sighed, quiet and slow. “I know they took care of me in the past, and I wish I could say I remember them. But I don’t.”

Koushi waited, ruminating on his words, being unable to imagine what it was like having a chunk of his life stolen from him, memories of people and places fading away with each tick of the clock. It was unimaginable. “A lot changes in 15 years, you know. Especially people. I’m sure Iwaizumi’s parents are probably just having a hard time adjusting to everything and will come around eventually. They just need a little time.”

“They didn’t have to hurt him like that.” He hugged his knees tighter, eyes narrowing at the carpet beneath their feet, his gaze piercing and potent. “Iwa-chan was scared. They… they scared him. Iwa-chan’s father… scared him. And it scared me. I thought Iwa-chan was gonna get hurt more. I didn’t want that, so…”

“You jumped in.”

Oikawa nodded. 

“The good thing is that you didn’t hurt anyone,” Koushi said. “You were scared, and you were angry, but you didn’t hurt anyone. And no one can say that you did.”

“They don’t like me either,” Oikawa muttered so low Koushi almost didn’t catch it.

“Why do you say that?”

“They still can’t believe I’m back. Iwa-chan’s mom wouldn’t stop crying, and his dad’s scent was all over the place – angry, scared, hurt. I couldn’t figure it out. But they said they were gonna go back to a place called Osaka and think things through. They asked if Iwa-chan wanted to go, but Iwa-chan said no. Not without me. I don’t think they liked that answer very much.”

“Did they yell at him?”

“No. But they didn’t look very happy.” He fell quiet, his words drifting in the air, separate from the other conversations floating around them. “I think I got Iwa-chan in trouble. You don’t think Iwa-chan is mad at me, do you?”

Koushi was quick to respond. “No, no, not at all. Iwaizumi’s not mad at you, Oikawa. He’s just worried about you. All he wants is for you to be safe, and he wants to stay here with you to make sure that you are. He cares so much about you, Oikawa. And if Iwaizumi’s parents don’t want to be here to support him, then I will be. Daichi, too. You’ve both got people in your corner. And we’re gonna do everything in our power to keep you safe.”

Oikawa smiled, cheeks tinted pink. “Thank you… Suga.”

“Just know you can come talk to me about anything.”

“Really?”

“Yup.”

Oikawa fidgeted a bit, picking at his cuticles before grabbing the book he’d placed off to the side. “Um, well, do you think you could help me with this? I’ve been trying, but I don’t know what this word means.” He flipped it open to the page he was on, scooting over a bit to close that extra inch of space between them.

“Hm? Let’s see here.” Koushi leaned over to see the book in Oikawa’s hands, at the word he was pointing to. There was very little kanji in the book, if any at all, but the word that that Oikawa was pointing to was written in hiragana. Koushi felt something in him sink as his eyes flew over it. “Oh. That means lonely.”

Oikawa looked at him. “Lonely?”

Koushi nodded.

“Oh.” Oikawa turned back to the book, his gaze pausing on that one word, and went to the next page. “I’m not lonely anymore.”

Koushi smiled, something warm settling in his chest. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Suga?”

Koushi and Oikawa both looked up, coming to face Hanamaki and Matsukawa. Koushi glanced over at the shifter next to him, limbs rigid, and stood up with Oikawa following his example. “Oh, hey guys. Didn’t expect to see you two here.”

Hanamaki put his hands on his hips, a smirk growing on his face. “Didn’t exactly peg us as bookworms?”

Koushi smiled. “I’d be lying if I said no. so what brings you here? A new teen romance novel catch your interest? I think I saw one about vampires.” He felt Oikawa standing right behind him, head down, his hand fisting into his jacket, trying to make himself as invisible as possible, and Koushi let him.

“That’s all Takahiro,” Matsukawa said, earning a swift jab to his side and he smiled. “Anyway, we’re here because Makki needed to pick up some psychology books for his thesis. What’re you doing here?” His dark eyes fell on Oikawa, their sleepy look betraying the examining and calculating stare. “Who’s that?”

“Oh, this is, uh…” _Think of a name, Koushi! Come on now, think!_ “Uh, Kataoka Hitoshi. He’s Iwaizumi’s cousin,” Koushi said. Easily. Simply. Like it was a fact. He hated lying to two people he knew so well, but it was necessary. He lowered his voice to where only the man behind him could hear. “Oikawa, this is Hanamaki Takahiro and Matsukawa Issei. Did you wanna say hi?”

Oikawa lifted his head up a bit, glancing over at Matsukawa and Hanamaki over the rim of the hoodie. He fidgeted, his grip tightening. “Um… hi.”

“Yo.” Hanamaki waved.

“’Sup,” Matsukawa said.

Oikawa lowered his gaze.

“Iwaizumi’s cousin, huh? They don’t really look alike,” Matsukawa said.

“They’re distant,” Koushi replied.

“Whatcha got in the bag there, Suga?” Hanamaki wiggled his eyebrows, trying to peek in the bag until Koushi pulled it back. He snickered. “Manga? Porn? What’s your sexual fantasy this week?”

Koushi’s ears burned bright. “Can we not talk about this in front of someone you guys just met? I know you don’t have any shame but come on now.”

“So saucy, Suga!” Hanamaki laughed, and then looked at Oikawa. “Sorry about that, I know we just met. Where are you from, Kataoka-san?”

Oikawa glanced at Koushi, a clear plea for help. “Um…”

“He’s from a small town in Gifu, so we’re showing him around Tokyo and giving him a taste of the city life,” Koushi explained. Easy. Clockwork. Keep it coming.

“’We’?” Matsukawa repeated.

Fuck.

“Oh, um, well –”

“Hanamaki? Matsukawa?” came Iwaizumi’s voice from behind the duo.

They both turned around, grins donning their faces as they rushed to hug their friend. “Iwaizumi!”

“Long time, no see, jackass.” Hanamaki punched Iwaizumi’s arm.

“Yeah, when are you gonna come by and see us?” Matsukawa asked.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. “I saw you guys just before I left.”

“You’re back a lot earlier than you said you would be,” Matsukawa said. “I thought you weren’t coming back for another two weeks.”

“Yeah, didn’t you _just_ leave?” Hanamaki added.

Iwaizumi deadpanned. “Surprise, I’ve returned. Nosey little shits, aren’t you?”

“You wouldn’t have it any other way. We met your cousin, by the way.” Matsukawa jabbed his thumb over his shoulder, pointing at Oikawa who hid further behind Koushi, which was almost impossible given the height difference. “He’s really quiet. Nothing compared to you.”

Iwaizumi looked over to Koushi, asking, and Koushi nodded softly, begging him to go along with it. “Oh yeah, he’s really shy. He grew up in a small town with strict parents so the city might be a little much for him. Especially with you two living in it.”

Hanamaki placed his hand to his chest. “That cuts deep, man. That cuts really deep.”

Koushi almost collapsed to the floor with relief, thanking Iwaizumi for being a quick thinker. And the fact that their stories magically lined up. That would’ve been one hell of a mess to clean up, and Koushi was not willing to pull the pin on that grenade.

“Who’re they?” Oikawa asked quietly while Iwaizumi distracted them.

“They’re really good friends of mine,” Koushi murmured. “I go to school with them. Well, at least Hanamaki. Matsukawa’s working now while Hanamaki goes to school for his master’s degree.”

“Oh.”

“They’re good people, I promise. They can be a little loud, but they’re honestly great friends, and I wouldn’t have made it through my sophomore year without them. I met them through Iwaizumi if that reassures you any.”

“They’re Iwa-chan’s friends, too?”

Koushi nodded. “Yup. They went to high school together.”

Oikawa nodded, his shoulders easing a bit.

“By the way, Suga,” Hanamaki said, drawing the other’s attention, “they have some really great books in the psychology section that I think you’d enjoy. Any luck with your thesis?”

Koushi offered a dry laugh. “I’ll get back to you on that.”

“Have you started?”

“I’ve got some ideas. You?”

“Fantastic question.”

“You haven’t, have you?”

“Does an outline count?”

“It’s more than what I’ve got.”

Hanamaki clapped him on the back. “You remember that guy in our class who showed up to class like 40% of the time? He hasn’t started at all.”

“How do you know?” Koushi raised an eyebrow.

“Because I know people, Suga,” Hanamaki said. “And because I asked when I ran into him. But still. You’ve at least got an idea. He doesn’t have jack shit.”

Koushi rolled his eyes, unable to resist catching Hanamaki’s infectious optimism. “Thanks, Makki. I appreciate your attempt at comforting me.”

“Did it work?”

“Yes.”

“Then my work here is done.”

“Did you wanna join us for lunch?” Matsukawa asked, his voice interjecting their conversation. “We were gonna go to that Korean barbecue restaurant a couple of streets over. Bring your cousin.”

Iwaizumi glimpsed at Koushi again, who left him to steer this one in whatever direction. They had eaten lunch about an hour before heading out, but judging by the way Oikawa was holding onto his jacket, maybe straying from the plan wouldn’t be wise. Then again, they might wanna ask the deciding party.

“Kataoka-san?” Koushi looked over his shoulder to the man in question when everyone else turned to them. “Did you wanna join them for lunch? Are you hungry?”

Oikawa looked at him, and Koushi hoped that he could read what was in his eyes: _Don’t feel obligated to go. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to._

“I’m not really hungry,” Oikawa murmured.

“Well, we did eat lunch not too long ago,” Iwaizumi said. “Don’t feel like you have to say yes to these two idiots. They’ll live.”

“I take offense to that,” Matsukawa said.

“You take offense to nouns.”

“And here I was hoping that Iwaizumi would tell us more about this mysterious cousin that he failed to mention.” Hanamaki huffed. “That’s fair, though. Besides, you’ve gotta carry all that porn home.”

Iwaizumi’s brow furrowed. “What?”

“He’s insane, don’t listen to him,” Koushi said.

“I’m just kidding.” Hanamaki laughed. “Your face was priceless, though. Anyway, we’ll see you guys around. Gotta get a table before everyone else tries to, if it’s not already busy.”

“You sure you three don’t wanna join us?” Matsukawa asked.

“Positive. Appreciate the offer, though,” Iwaizumi said. “Maybe another time.”

Hanamaki bumped his shoulder into Iwaizumi’s “We’re gonna hold you to that.”

“Remember what happened the last time you didn’t go through with your word?” Matsukawa smirked.

Iwaizumi shuddered – visibly shuddered – and Koushi wondered what exactly they were talking about. “Don’t remind me. I still get nightmares about it.”

“Do I even wanna know?” Koushi asked.

“No, absolutely not!” Iwaizumi managed to say over Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s attempts to tell the story. “I swear if you bring that up to _anyone –”_

Hanamaki grinned, something in his eyes that told Koushi he’d be hearing about it via message later. And again, what Iwaizumi didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. 

Matsukawa took his hand, smirking. “We’ll see you guys later. It was nice meeting you, Kataoka-san.”

“Yeah, it was nice to meet you. I’d love to hang out with you sometime.” Hanamaki snickered. “That way you can give us the nitty gritty on our dear Iwaizumi’s life before we met him. I’m sure you’ve got all kinds of stories to tell.”

Oikawa chuckled low and even, and Koushi couldn’t help but smile.

“Go away, I hate you both,” Iwaizumi said.

“You love us!” they sang as they walked away.

Koushi hummed in thought as he watched them leave. “Well, they’re not wrong.” 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and looked to Oikawa. “You okay?”

Oikawa nodded. “They’re funny. I didn’t know you had other friends, Iwa-chan.”

And the pure, innocent way those words left Oikawa’s mouth and Iwaizumi’s unamused expression sent Koushi into a fit of giggles.

“I have a question,” Oikawa said when they were heading towards the register. 

“What’s up?” Iwaizumi said.

“What’s porn?”

Iwaizumi blanched, and Koushi laughed so hard he drew the attention of nearly every customer as tears pricked his eyes and his sides ached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's graduating from college in less than a week? This girl right here! :D /throws confetti
> 
> I'm so scared you guys what if I trip and fall?


	7. the order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru looked down at the page he was reading before he drifted off into the memories he’d burned away countless times. He had swept away the ashes, left it there to rot in the back of his mind, forgotten, but it always came back. Every time he closed his eyes, every time he found himself easing, letting his guard down, they’d come back. Those people were looking for him.
> 
> They’d try to find him.
> 
> They’d take him away from Iwa-chan again. From Suga.

_“No! No! Stop! Let me go!”_

_He squirmed in the arm holding him, toting him, and pulled at the restraints binding his hands together as sobs blubbered out of him. He didn’t know where he was. It was too bright, even behind the tear-soaked blindfold, and the one carrying him smelled awful, like cigarettes, an odor that easily overpowered his sensitive nose. They were talking, saying things he couldn’t understand, didn’t want to understand – awful things about shifters, that they were filthy, nothing but disease-carrying vermin that polluted the population, and him being the last one of his kind and them trying to create more._

_He wanted…_

_He wanted to go home._

_He wanted to go back to Iwa-chan and his parents._

_He wanted his parents._

_He wanted his mom and dad._

_“Someone help me!”_

Tooru blinked at the sunlight washing over him and rubbed his eyes, the memory fading into it, and he sat up a little straighter. He was on a bench in the courtyard, bundled up in his jacket, alone, save for the occasional tweet of a bird or gust of wind that ruffled his hair. He drew his knees up to his chest, locking his arms around them, wiggling his toes as the breeze tickled his bare feet. Being out here reminded him of the days – or was it weeks? – he spent on the streets. The harsh, freezing nights. The bitter days. But now…

Now he had a roof over his head.

The apartment had been quiet, Suga was still sleeping, Iwaizumi having gone somewhere, while Tooru was alone in the living room, and the books he and Iwaizumi were reading last night rested on the coffee table, still open to the page Tooru fell asleep on last night. Iwaizumi and Suga had been helping him a lot, and even though Tooru struggled with some of the words, he found that he enjoyed reading, and he couldn’t wait to tear into the books lining Suga’s shelves. According to Suga, none of them focused on wolves like the books Tooru picked out but he found that he didn’t mind all that much. He wanted to read _everything._

Reading let something pleasant, familiar, brew inside of him.

Iwaizumi had picked up some books about wolves, too. They didn’t tell stories and instead gave facts about wolves that lived in the wild. Iwaizumi told him that since wolves were extinct in Japan, the book mainly focused on wolves in other parts of the world, mainly North America and Canada. And Tooru sat there next to him, watching him read, listening to any facts that Iwaizumi gave, soaking in the pictures of the wolves that were similar to his fur color and ones that were completely white. White as untrodden snow.

Tooru looked down at the page he was reading before he drifted off into the memories he’d burned away countless times. He had swept away the ashes, left it there to rot in the back of his mind, forgotten, but it always came back. Every time he closed his eyes, every time he found himself easing, letting his guard down, they’d come back. Those people were looking for him.

They’d try to find him.

They’d take him away from Iwa-chan again. From Suga.

They’d strap him down, poking him with needles, filling with his blood or pushing a sickly yellow liquid that made him sink and float all at once, a feather and a cinderblock, everything moving in slow motion as garbled, white noise, blurring his vision. He’d wake up in the Darkness. Arms wrapped in bandages, dark bruises surrounding his wrists and ankles from his struggling, his head wading in dense fog. Making it hard to remember where he was, _who_ he was. But most of all, it made it hard to fight.

He was out of there now.

He had to remember that.

Tooru sighed and looked up at the sky, his breath pooling past his lips and into the air, drowning those memories in thoughts of the present when he caught the dark shape of a bird soaring above him, seeming tiny when it was way up there. It was peaceful to watch, majestic, gliding easily through the air. He wondered what kind of bird it was. A crow? A pigeon? Maybe a swallow or a sparrow. From his position, it was hard to tell, and – oh wait, it was getting closer. And larger. Larger than any of the birds milling about the city.

His eyes widened as the bird dove closer to the apartment complex before swooping over the other side and out of sight, but not before Tooru caught a glimpse of the brown feathers expanding over most of its body and white, glistening feathers adorning its head to its neck. Tooru thought he remembered seeing one of those in a picture book when he was a child with Iwa-chan and out in the woods when they went exploring. What was it called again? 

Tooru craned his neck over his shoulder, a hopeless attempt to find the bird again, and pouted when it didn’t return. He really wanted to know what it was called. He should ask Iwa-chan or Suga when they woke up. Tooru returned his attention to the book lying open beside him, tucking it in the space between his chest and knees, sounding out each word as he read it on the page. He remembered having specific trouble with this paragraph. Iwaizumi had gone over it with him, helped him pronounce the sound of each character that made up the series of words to construct a sentence that described an idea. And instead of trying to go through the whole paragraph at once, Iwaizumi broke it down into each sentence, asking Tooru what he thought it meant, and guiding him in the right direction if need be.

Suga pitched in, too. When Iwaizumi had to answer the phone, or went to cook lunch or dinner, Tooru sat next to Suga and the lesson continued right where it left off. Suga was also kind and gentle in his teaching. Tooru never felt under pressure, like he had to get it right on the first try.

And Oikawa loved every second of it.

He was learning. Soaking in new words and their meanings each day. Even when he was frustrated, wanting to pull his hair out and close the book because he just didn’t understand what the page was saying, Iwaizumi’s and Suga’s gentle encouragement and Tooru’s innate stubbornness didn’t allow him to back down. He pinched the ear of the page between his thumb and index finger, tempted to go to the next page but determined to nab this last sentence down. He was going to reread the whole page again, all in one fell swoop, ruminate on the information presented to him, and then move on to the next.

Tooru smiled. Yeah, he could do that.

He stuck his tongue out in concentration, not minding the cold nipping at the tips of his toes, and turned the page.

“Good morning, Oikawa-san.”

Tooru whipped around, coming to face… oh no, what was his name? He was tall, dark brown hair, broad-shouldered with defined muscles evident even under that jacket and sun-kissed skin with piercing olive eyes. Tooru remembered meeting him before he, Iwaizumi, and Suga went to shop for his clothes. He’d never forget those eyes. The way they seemed to pick apart every inch of someone, discovering the deepest, most guarded secret, even if it wasn’t intentional. He was also a shifter.

Tooru wondered what he shifted into since he never got the chance to ask, but then he remembered Iwa-chan saying that it was something many people kept close, something that wasn’t revealed to complete strangers, so it was best not to ask even if both parties were shifters unless there was an agreement.

What was his name again?

Ushi… something. Waka… what was it?

_Crap, he’s coming closer._

Tooru averted his gaze as soon as the man approached, ears folding back, tail whipping slowly behind him. “Um, hi… Ushiwaka, uh, san.”

Ushiwaka’s brow creased, a frown pulling at the corners of his mouth, not in scorn but rather confusion. “I’ve never been called that before.”

Tooru rubbed the back of his neck, playing with the tiny hairs, and instead stared at his feet. “I’m sorry. I just… can’t remember your name.”

“Ushijima Wakatoshi.”

Tooru nodded. Yeah, Ushiwaka was so much simpler.

“What’re you doing out here by yourself?” Ushijima asked.

Tooru squirmed. “Um, Suga’s asleep and Iwa-chan left so, uh, I’m waiting for him.” His eyes flitted to the side, to his hands, to his toes.

“I see.” Ushijima nodded, eyes falling to the book in Tooru’s lap. “What’re you reading?”

Tooru felt his stomach drop. Oh no, what was he supposed to say? What if Ushijima found out he couldn’t read all that well or that he was reading a children’s book? Would Ushijima make fun of him? Well, Ushijima didn’t seem like that type of person but Tooru didn’t know him all that well. So, instead of answering, Tooru opted to show the other man the cover of the book, almost hiding his face behind it.

“I remember reading that book as a child,” Ushijima said. “I’d probably go back and look through my favorite childhood stories if I had the chance.” He looked down at Tooru’s feet and while he didn’t show much outward reaction there was curiosity painted all over his eyes. “Is there a particular reason why you’re outside barefoot in the middle of winter?”

“Oh.” Tooru wriggled his toes again. It wasn’t that Tooru didn’t like wearing shoes. They came in a variety of colors and styles, and it wasn’t like they weren’t comfortable to wear even if they did feel heavy on his feet since he hadn’t worn them in so long. His toes weren’t squished at the front anymore and the soles weren’t worn thin. He especially liked wearing socks. Many of them had crazy colors and patterns, much like the ones Suga had with tiny shrimps and cookies on them, and they kept Tooru’s feet warm at night and when he was walking on the cold hardwood floor in Suga’s apartment. It was just… hard to get used to. So much so that Tooru often needed to be reminded to actually put them on before leaving the house.

Much like now.

“Um…” Tooru trailed off. “I… forgot.”

“Well, you should try to remember from now on. You don’t want to catch cold.”

Tooru’s ears flicked towards the sound of two new voices passing through the complex, a man and a woman descending the stairs to the parking lot in the back, and Tooru’s hands flew to his hoodie to cover his ears, his mind falling back to the clothing store – the people whispering, staring, the mother’s reaction to her own child shifting. Despite Ushijima being a shifter, did he accept that half of himself? Did he accept that in others?

Tooru didn’t know. And he’d rather not risk it.

“No, it’s fine,” Ushijima said. “I don’t mind.”

Tooru stopped. “You don’t?”

“Of course not.”

Tooru dropped the hood. “You… you’re a shifter too, aren’t you?”

“I am. I’m glad we had a mutual understanding the other day. I was afraid I might’ve been wrong,” Ushijima said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a wolf shifter before. You are a wolf shifter, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Tooru said. Another breeze trickled through, bringing a variety of scents with it, and Tooru sniffed the air, the pure cold stinging his nose a bit. “You kind of smell like a bird.”

“Oh. Yes. I’m an eagle shifter.”

Tooru thought back to the large bird in the sky, his eyes widening with surprise and the utmost interest. “That was you? Flying up there earlier?”

Ushijima nodded.

So that’s what those birds were called. Eagles. Tooru hadn’t seen too many as a child, but when he did he was never able to take his eyes off of it, and he thought about what it was like flying way up there. Where no one could touch you. Where you could be free. With nothing but the clouds ahead and the world at your feet. It must’ve been absolutely exhilarating. Liberating. Something he hadn’t really known before.

Until now.

“Aren’t you scared?” Tooru found himself asking.

Ushijima’s head tilted a bit. “Scared? Of what?”

“Humans.” Tooru wrapped his arms tighter around his legs. “People.” The little girl being scolded by her mother replayed over and over again. Her words. The sound of her voice. He could only imagine the look on her face. “People… some people don’t like us. They don’t want us around, even in their own families. I was always told that people hate our kind. And you’re not afraid to fully shift, not caring who sees you or how people are gonna react. I want…”

_I want to be like that. But… those people…_

_If I fully shift, they might come after me. After Iwa-chan. After Suga… I can’t let that happen._

Ushijima hummed in thought as Tooru’s answer faded into the air. “I see where you’re coming from. And for a long time, even throughout some of my high school years, I was worried about how people would react or what they thought of me once they found out I could shapeshift.” He rested against the back of the bench. “But, after a while and many talks with my father, I realized there’s no reason to hide who you are for the sake of what others might think or feel. You need to be who you are, otherwise you’re going to be miserable.”

Tooru just listened.

“Admittedly, there was a lot more prejudice towards shifters when we were kids than now. Our society has progressed miles compared to where we used to be. People think we’re violent, aggressive, simply because we have animal and human DNA within us. But that still doesn’t mean you should hide who you are. I’ve used my form to protect my family, my friends, and if that makes me a monster then so be it.” Ushijima looked at Tooru. His eyes still held that same strong gaze, but there was something softer behind it. Something that Tooru couldn’t quite place. “From one shifter to another, I speak from experience. And though you’ve known Iwaizumi longer than I have, you’ve found another great friend, Oikawa. Sugawara is a very kind person.”

Tooru smiled, gentle and timid.

“Wakatoshi!” came a voice that Tooru didn’t recognize, and on reflex he pulled up his hood to cover his ears. Ushijima turned towards it, and the sound of gravel crunching under shoes grew closer. “Making new friends, Wakatoshi-kun?”

Tooru looked over his shoulder to see who it was, and a man with the same piercing gaze as Ushijima and bright red hair that absolutely defied every law of gravity was next to them. But he was smiling and called Ushijima by his given name, and Tooru took that as a good sign. This Tendou character also smelled very much human.

“This is Oikawa Tooru. He’s friends with Iwaizumi and Sugawara,” Ushijima answered.

“Ah! I see! Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Oikawa-kun.” The man grinned and held out his hand. “I’m Tendou Satori.”

Tooru clasped it in his own, remembering the handshake. Grip not too firm but also not too light, just like Suga showed him. “Nice to meet you.”

“I hope Wakatoshi-kun here wasn’t causing you too much of a fuss. He can be such a chatterbox sometimes.”

Tooru glanced at Ushijima, who didn’t exactly look amused but there wasn’t any negative emotion on his face either. If anything, there was fondness, a sense of ease radiating from him. And Tooru couldn’t help but smile, even if he was a little unsure of this newcomer. “No, he’s fine. He wasn’t bothering me.”

“Why would you think I was bothering him, Tendou?” Ushijima asked, getting to his feet.

Tendou raised an eyebrow, smirking. “You remember that conversation you had with Eita-kun about the logistics of each position in volleyball?”

Ushijima shrugged. “He shouldn’t have asked.”

Tendou laughed. “Yeah, he kind of set himself up for that one. Anyway, I got us stuff for lunch. Did you wanna join us, Oikawa-kun?”

Tooru looked between them, fidgeting. “Um… thank you, but I should probably head back inside.”

“How long have you been sitting out here?” Ushijima asked.

Tooru bit his lip. How long _had_ he been out here? The sun was up when he first sat on the bench so it couldn’t have been too long. “Maybe a few hours?”

“Yikes!” Tendou said. “Go warm up, dude. You’ve gotta be freezing. Also, you should totally come visit sometime. Ushijima doesn’t talk much to people he’s just met, but he seems to like you so maybe that’s why he went off on a tangent.”

Ushijima raised an eyebrow. “How long were you standing there?”

“Long enough.” Tendou grinned. “Now, come on. I’m starving.” He took Ushijima’s hand and started walking away. “It was nice meeting you, Oikawa-kun! Feel free to pop by anytime!”

Tooru waved, watching them go up the stairs and around the corner to Ushijima’s apartment, and turned back to the book as a shudder passed through him. He should probably go back upstairs too before –

“Oikawa-san?”

Tooru once again turned, even though he already knew that voice well, down to the last note and pitch, to find Suga descending the stairs and coming towards him. Suga, too, was bundled up but was in a blanket instead of a jacket, and his boots were unlaced, a sign of his haste to get out the door.

“I was looking for you,” Suga said, sitting next to Tooru. “How long have you been sitting out here by yourself?”

Again, Tooru still didn’t know the exact answer. “Maybe a few hours. But I talked to Ushiwaka.”

“Ushiwaka?” Suga asked. “Oh! Do you mean Ushijima?”

Tooru nodded.

Suga chuckled. “That’s an interesting nickname. Never heard him called that before. What’d he say?”

“Same thing you did – he’s never been called that before,” Tooru said. “Oh, and I met his friend Tendou. He seems nice.”

“Oh yeah, Tendou comes by pretty often but we haven’t spoken much. Even if we did play against each other in high school.”

“Played against each other?”

“Yeah, in volleyball. Mine and Daichi’s team went up against Ushijima and Tendou’s team for a spot at nationals. It was a pretty intense game. Remind me to show you the DVD. It’s back at my parents’ place so I’ll have to do some digging.”

“That’s the team in the picture, right? The one in your living room next to your family’s?”

Suga smiled. “Yup, that’s the one. Karasuno High School Volleyball Club. Those were great times.”

Tooru fiddled with the hem of his sleeve, eyes downcast, a tinge of red in his cheeks though he couldn’t exactly tell if it was from the cold. “You looked like you were having fun.”

“A lot of fun.” Suga’s smile then slowly disappeared, and his brow furrowed, which happened when something was on his mind. “But Oikawa-san, are you okay? You said you’ve been out here for a few hours. Is there something going on?”

Tooru thought about it. Nothing particular was weighing on his mind. At least, nothing more than the usual dread of returning to the Darkness that itched in the back of his thoughts. But he didn’t want Suga to have to worry about that. Suga had done so much for him already.

“No, I’m okay,” Tooru finally said.

“Are you sure?”

Tooru nodded and another shiver passed through him.

“I bet you’re freezing. And – wait a minute, are you not wearing any shoes, Oikawa Tooru?”

Tooru offered a sheepish grin. Well, probably more wolfish all things considered.

Suga huffed though there was no real frustration behind it. “That’s exactly how you catch cold. Here.” He removed the blanket from his shoulders and draped it over Tooru’s despite the latter’s protests. “Come on, let’s get you inside. Iwaizumi’s gonna pitch a fit if he finds you out here with no shoes on.”

Tooru allowed Suga to lead him inside, allowed Suga to sit him on the couch, wrapped in that same blanket, and make him hot chocolate with large marshmallows and whipped cream in it, even if Suga made him put a pair of striped, fuzzy socks on to warm up his feet. And the entire time, Ushijima’s words about how wonderful Suga was rang in his head.

Yeah, Suga was pretty amazing.

“Where’s Iwa-chan?” Tooru asked, staring at the miniature Christmas tree in the corner of Suga’s living room as it twinkled with lights and ornaments. Suga had even let Tooru help him decorate it. Tooru didn’t really remember Christmas, it was mostly just noise, bursts of color, and blurry faces like everything else was in his mind, and Tooru listened intently as Suga talked about how he and his family spent Christmas. And Tooru couldn’t help but want that experience as well.

“He messaged me and said he went for a run in the park,” Suga answered from the kitchen. “I’m surprised you didn’t hear him leave, which is I’m sure he thought you’d still be asleep by the time he got back.” He returned to the couch with a cup of his own hot chocolate and covered himself in a quilt resting off to the side. “He should be back any minute now. The guy’s got crazy endurance.”

Tooru nodded, sipping at the hot liquid steaming in his cup, the whipped cream tickling his nose, and licked his lips. And Suga took one look at Tooru before bursting into laughter. 

Tooru tilted his head. “What’s so funny?”

“You’ve got whipped cream right here.” Suga pointed to the tip of his nose. “It’s all over.”

Tooru tried focusing on the tip of his nose, wriggling it a bit, and wiped it off with his sleeve as he watched Suga take a sip of his own whipped cream ladled hot chocolate. He smiled. “You do, too.”

“What?” Suga touched his nose and sighed when his fingers were topped with the airy white substance, a chuckle brushing past his lips. “Yeah, I deserved that.”

Tooru laughed. And wow, did it feel so great to do that. It still felt kind of awkward since he hadn’t done it in so long, but the way it made him feel like he was up in the clouds with the world at his feet completely outweighed that. Sitting here in this apartment with Suga…

Felt right.

Suga rolled his eyes, unable to contain a smile. “It’s not that funny.”

“It is a little bit,” Tooru said, covering his mouth.

Suga dabbed his finger in a bit of whipped cream and swiped it across Tooru’s cheek, the latter trying to duck but was too slow. “Punk.”

“Hey!” Tooru did the same, a healthy helping of whipped cream on his finger, except he got a touch of hot chocolate with it and winced. “Ow!”

“You okay?” Suga asked, concern leaking onto his expression.

Tooru nodded, slowly, and immediately swept his finger along Suga’s cheek, grinning at the surprised look on the other’s face. “Gotcha.”

“That innocent face isn’t gonna fool me anymore, you can be sneaky when you wanna be, Oikawa-san.” Suga wiped his cheek with the back of his hand, smirking.

“Sounds like a party in here.” Iwaizumi’s voice came in with the sound of the door opening, and Tooru perked to attention as soon as the recognizable rhythm of footsteps drew nearer. Except… there was another set following right behind him. A set Tooru didn’t know, and that set him a little on edge.

Until he smelled it.

Iwaizumi came into the living room, toting a back from one of the many stores that lined the blocks. “And look who I ran into on my way back.” He nodded towards the man standing off to the side behind him, Tooru catching that unmistakable glint of affection in his eyes. Had that always been there?

Suga’s smirk collapsed. “Daichi?”

It was Daichi’s turn to smirk, even if it was one laced with exhaustion, it peeled off him in minute waves, even in the high way he held his shoulders, an obvious attempt to not worry anyone there. And something else lingered there that Tooru didn’t quite understand but knew that Suga would. Suga always understood. Tooru remembered that Suga had said that Daichi went home to visit his dad. Could it have something to do with that? 

“Don’t look so happy to see me, Suga,” Daichi said. “Jeez, calm down. It’s embarrassing.”

Suga sat up further on the couch. “No, no, it’s just… you’re back early. A lot early.”

Daichi shrugged and set his duffel bag to the floor. “Dad left so I saw no point in staying. I’ve got better things to do than twiddle my thumbs.” He looked between Tooru and Suga and tapped his cheek. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

Suga quickly wiped his face and went over to hug his friend. “Not at all. I’m glad you’re back safe though.” And then quieter, added, “I was so worried.”

Daichi’s arms tightened around Suga’s frame. “I fall asleep on the train for a couple of hours and you think I’ve fallen in a ditch.”

“It could happen.”

“I appreciate your undying faith in me.” Daichi smiled at Tooru. “Oikawa, it’s nice to see you again. How have you been holding up? Hopefully Suga hasn’t given you too much trouble.” That comment earned him a smack on the arm and he just laughed.

“I’ve been good.” Tooru smiled, happy to see someone he knew, even if it had only been for a short time, completely forgetting that his wolf ears and tail were out in the open and that Daichi didn’t even know he was a shifter. Daichi was Suga’s best friend, and anyone who made Iwaizumi smile like that was okay in his book. Iwaizumi approached him then, sitting on the arm of the couch.

“What the hell happened to your face?” Iwaizumi wiped Tooru’s cheek with his sleeve. “Did you and Suga have a whipped cream war or something?”

“Kinda,” Tooru said. He then sniffed and scrunched his nose. “You stink.” And he laughed when Iwaizumi huffed and ruffled his hair in feigned annoyance.

“So, Iwaizumi and I were talking about the mini-Christmas party you mentioned, Suga. That’s still on, right?” Daichi said. “When was it gonna be?”

Tooru lit up at the mention of the holiday. 

Suga nodded. “We figured we’d have it as soon as you came back if you were feeling up to it since I’m leaving town, too. And it’s on as long as you stay away from the oven.”

Daichi held up his hands. “Trust me, Iwaizumi and I already discussed that.”

“Oh?” Suga raised an eyebrow, smirking now. “What else did you guys talk about? Sure as hell took your time getting back here.”

“Nothing that you need to be concerned with.”

“Now that’s just rude.” Suga flung his arm across Daichi’s shoulders and grinned. “But if we’re gonna have a Christmas party, then we need to go shopping for presents.”

Tooru liked the sound of that.

“Well, Daichi and I already bought yours and Oikawa’s presents,” Iwaizumi said.

 _“What?”_ Suga shouted.

“Yeah, we decided to stop by a store or two on the way back,” Daichi said. “You’re incredibly nosey, Suga. There’s no way we all could’ve gone together, I had to go behind your back.”

Suga crossed his arms. “I am not that nosey.”

“Suga, you bought Matsukawa ten boxes of Lucky Charms offering that limited-edition glow-in-the-dark Superman tattoo so he’d tell you what I had planned for your birthday party.” 

“To be fair, the tattoo was pretty badass.”

“The tattoo wasn’t even real. And Hanamaki explicitly said for him not to buy anymore boxes. They already had 15 in their pantry. They’re only getting through their fifth box today.”

“In his defense, Makki said that _Matsukawa_ couldn’t buy anymore boxes. Not that anyone else couldn’t buy him boxes. I was just trying to help a dear friend in need of a limited-edition Superman tattoo. Almost worked, too. Do you know the lengths I had to go to make sure Makki didn’t find out?”

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. “Do I even wanna know?”

“I’d be happy to tell you.” Suga smiled. “You’d like to think that Makki is the one who always acts extra. No. That is specifically reserved for Mattsun. You know why? Because he not only had me knock on the door four times with exactly six seconds in between each one, I had to say ‘Lucky’ in an Irish accent so he knew it was me.”

Tooru listened to this, processed it and tried to imagine Suga speaking with an Irish accent even though he’s never heard someone from Ireland speak before, and Iwaizumi snorted out a laugh.

“That’s exactly what you get for being nosey,” Daichi said.

Suga then put his hands on his hips, a look of determination but also obvious displeasure. And was that a slight pout? “You know what, fine. Oikawa-san and I will go Christmas shopping on our own.” He looked at Tooru and grinned. “Won’t we?”

Tooru’s ears stood upright, tail wagging with intrigue, and nodded.

“Great! Now let’s get dressed so we can give these two some alone time. They need to… talk.” Suga wiggled his eyebrows, smirking, and disappeared into his room despite Daichi and Iwaizumi’s words of protest.

Tooru tilted his head, looking back and forth between the duo that was left a stuttering mess. Embarrassment leaked from their every pore, deep columns of red seeping up Daichi and Iwaizumi’s necks. It was comical, but also a little disconcerting how flushed they were.

“Iwa-chan, you shouldn’t have been running outside for so long. You’re running a fever,” Tooru said.

“I’m fine, Oikawa. Don’t worry,” Iwaizumi mumbled. “Y-You’d better pick out something to wear so you and Suga can go.”

Tooru stood from the couch and moved over to the bag that held his clothes. He pulled out a red flannel shirt, grabbing the white shirt placed right beneath it, and a pair of jeans. “Are you and Daichi gonna come, too?”

Iwaizumi chuckled. “Kind of defeats the purpose of Christmas shopping if the people you’re shopping for go along with you. That’s why I went with Daichi earlier while you were here. I was getting your Christmas present. It’s supposed to be a surprise.”

Tooru thought back to a cartoon he had seen yesterday centered on a family’s daily shenanigans. They had a huge Christmas tree decorated with ornaments and lights, and underneath the tree was a stack of neatly organized presents wrapped in glistening paper – reds, greens, blues, polka dots, some even had snowmen and reindeer on them. No one except the giver was supposed to know what was hidden within that gorgeous paper. He could feel excitement bubble inside his chest, thrumming his heart against his ribcage, and he hurried to change out of his pajamas in the bathroom, making sure his wolf ears and tail were no longer out and that he actually put shoes on.

He and Suga were out the door within ten minutes, Suga throwing out teasing remarks to Iwaizumi and Daichi who met them with as much retaliation as before, something about keeping it “PG.” Whatever that meant. Tooru was adjusting to the constant pedestrian traffic outside of Suga’s apartment. He was getting used to the flow of conversations moving over each other in a jumbled mess. He was getting used to seeing the faces passing by that he didn’t immediately recognize. It was getting easier to breathe in the crowd.

Suga turned to Oikawa and smiled once shutting the door. “Okay, where to first?”

Tooru paused. He hadn’t really thought that far.

“You’re gonna get something for Iwaizumi, right?” Suga asked, continuing once Oikawa nodded. “Hmm…”

Tooru bit his lip, tapping at the ground with the toe of his shoe, fiddling with the hem of his jacket. “What does… what does Iwa-chan like now?” He paused, taking a small breath. “I’ve been, um… away for a long time.” _Been in the Dark far too long. Too long, too long, too long._ “Does he still like the same things?”

“What do you remember Iwaizumi liking when you were kids?”

“Bugs,” Tooru said. That much he knew. “And he liked exploring.” Tooru smiled, practically feeling the leaf-dappled light on his face, the humid air clinging to his skin, the cool grass curling between his toes. “We used to go all the time.”

Suga chuckled. “You know, he still likes those things. That picture of me and Daichi in my living room? That was a hiking trip we took last year up in the mountains. It was hot, but Iwaizumi was right in his element. He seemed really excited – I mean he talked to us about the type of biome we lived in – but I felt that there was something slightly off about him while we were out there. Like he was missing something.” He smiled. “Now I know it was you.”

Tooru tried to imagine tagging along with them, taller and stronger than he was when he was six or seven, laughing at Suga and Daichi’s constant bickering, teasing and deflecting Iwaizumi’s playful insults, being out in the open, in the light, _fitting in,_ and he followed Suga down the stairs. “Did Iwa-chan talk about… what happened? When we were kids?” 

He didn’t want to think about that day – being thrown into that black van, a blindfold immediately slipped over his eyes and a rag over his mouth that made him heavy and sleepy, not waking up until he was in that dark, damp room he’d come to know so well. A bed in the corner with a worn mattress and creaky, rusting springs. No blankets. A toilet that was broken more than half the time. Cold, plain food that was more for meeting basic nutritional needs rather than taste. The only source of light being the gap underneath the door unless it was opened so they could drag him out.

Suga waited until a gap presented itself in the crowd before melding into it with Tooru close behind who grabbed a piece of his jacket out of habit. And Suga didn’t seem to mind. “No, not really. He mentioned the trouble he and his childhood best friend used to get into from time to time, but he never went into too much detail. I think it hurt too much. And Daichi and I figured it was best we didn’t push him.”

Tooru nodded. He probably would’ve done the same thing. Then another thought occurred to him. “Why does Iwa-chan get all weird around Daichi? He turns all red even though he’s not sick. Daichi acts funny, too. They’re not sick, are they?”

Suga laughed as his eyes passed over the signs of various stores. “No, no, not at all. They’re perfectly healthy, I promise.”

“Then why do they get all red?”

“Well…” Suga hummed in thought. “If I tell you, you have to keep it a secret from Iwaizumi, okay? You can’t tell him no matter what.”

Tooru thought about what that meant, keeping something from Iwaizumi, and though he was hard pressed to not keep anything secret from his best friend due to a promise they made when they were five, Tooru nodded anyway, his curiosity burrowing further and further.

“Daichi has a huge crush on Iwaizumi for the past few years now, so if he gets super flustered that’s why.”

Daichi… had a crush on Iwa-chan?

Daichi liked Iwa-chan?

“Like the kissing kind of like?” Tooru asked.

“Exactly,” Suga said.

Tooru thought back to Iwaizumi’s face, red and radiating warmth. “Does Iwa-chan like Daichi, too?”

“I’m almost certain he does. And since they’re both stubborn as mules and thick as brick walls, I’m gonna do something about it.”

“What’re you gonna do?”

“Just gonna give them a little push in the right direction.”

They wandered a couple of blocks, Suga once again asking Tooru what he wanted to get Iwaizumi. Tooru said that he thought Iwaizumi would like a captured stag beetle in a jar, something he always did despite insects making his skin crawl, and Suga said that maybe he’d be able to do that in the summer for Iwaizumi’s birthday. They stopped by a few stores, one to grab a new watch for Daichi since the latter’s gave out on him a few days ago, and another for Iwaizumi’s present – a set of nice drawing pencils, colored pencils, and COPIC markers. And as Suga was buying these items, a very important fact crossed Tooru’s mind: he didn’t have any money.

“All right, Oikawa-san. Your turn,” Suga said as they walked away from the register. “Did any store catch your eye?”

Tooru picked at his slightly mutilated cuticles. “Um… I don’t… I don’t have any money.” He mumbled this last part, Suga clearly not hearing him, and repeated it. “I don’t have any money.”

“Oh! Don’t worry about that. I got you covered.”

“But, Suga –”

“Nu-uh.” Suga put his finger to Tooru’s lips. “Nope. Not another word. It’s Christmas, Oikawa-san. Pick something out, okay?”

Tooru nodded.

They went back to the bookstore, Tooru poring through the nature section until he found two books, one on insects and the other on arachnids from all around the world. Tooru couldn’t read half the words on the page, but the pictures were nice and it seemed to offer valuable information on each creature. Suga had gone to another section of the store, making a promise that he’d be quick, and returned with a bag from the store while Tooru had barely gone through half of the spider book. He had purchased something. And he didn’t want Tooru to know.

“What’d you buy?” Tooru wondered, trying to see through the bag’s plastic beige color.

Suga grinned. “If I told you it’d ruin the surprise for you, silly.” He kneeled down. “Find one you like?”

Tooru slipped the spider book back into its proper place. “Mhm. Iwa-chan likes spiders, but he doesn’t like them as much as these other guys. I think they’re all gross.”

Suga laughed. “You and me both.”

With the book purchased and making another stop at the bakery to buy warm, mouthwatering apple crunch muffins that crumbled with perfection and swiping the last box of strawberry tarts that Daichi absolutely loved (Daichi’s present from Tooru, courtesy of Suga), Tooru was feeling much happier that he had something to give his friends for Christmas.

Well, all except Suga.

What would he get Suga?

What _could_ he get Suga?

Suga had clearly bought something for Tooru back at the bookstore (otherwise there’d be no point in the secrecy), and with Suga right behind him how was he supposed to buy it? He could always come back with Iwaizumi, but the party was going to be tonight since Suga was going to visit his family soon. He wouldn’t have another chance. He gnawed on his bottom lip, teeth catching some of the loose, flimsy skin and pulling, just as his eyes caught sight of a display window lined with animal plushies. There were of course the generic animals – dogs, cats, horses, bears, and rabbits. There were also the more exotic animals – lions, tigers, leopards, just to name a few. But what Tooru focused on was the wolf plush. It was clearly meant to be a wolf pup, but its fur was colored a deep chestnut and so were its glassy eyes. Tooru felt like he’d had one when he was a child, a wolf plush. It was smaller, handmade, love and care placed in every stitch. All in all, it was cute.

And all in all, it looked like Tooru.

“Did you wanna stop in here?” Suga asked, pointing his thumb to the front doors.

Tooru nodded.

Customers of all ages were roaming around the store – more were children of course dragging their parents along, but also middle and high schoolers, and even college students and adults were doting on the adorable animal designs, all contemplating on buying one for someone else or themselves. Now Tooru didn’t feel so out of place for wanting one.

But Tooru didn’t need to scour the shelves to figure out what he wanted. He knew exactly which one.

“Oh hey, they’re having a buy one, get one free sale!” Suga announced as he stood in front of the propped-up sign next to the door. “That’s pretty neat.”

Tooru played with his bottom lip between his teeth again. “Um, Suga?”

“What’s up?”

“Can you, uh, wait somewhere else while I pick one out?”

“Hm? Why?”

“If I told you it’d ruin the surprise for you.”

Suga blinked, obviously recognizing the words he said to Tooru less than 30 minutes ago, and laughed. “All right, you got me there. I’ll wait somewhere else. Just holler when you’re ready to pay.”

And Tooru bolted once Suga was out of sight, scanning the shelves and avoiding children that weaved between legs to show their parents the plush they wanted. The wolf pup plushies were right next to the foxes and dogs, all having different colors and patterns on their fur, and Tooru stopped, staring at a mostly white one with grey and beige markings as something chimed within his heart, vibrating against his ribcage in familiarity.

He felt like he’d seen those markings, those colors on a large wolf standing over him. Growls that brought comfort and security above all else. He remembered being small, feeling afraid of the large creature snapping and snarling before them. He didn’t know what it was. But it was huge, and its black fur stood on end. The wolf was crouched low over him just as the other creature was, both ready to attack.

 _Go away!_ the wolf snarled.

And only one word came to Tooru’s mind, one word that cut through the haze of time gone by.

_Mother._

He didn’t remember her voice. He didn’t remember her face. But he knew that was her.

Tooru picked the wolf plush, along with the solid brown one he saw in the window before heading up to the counter. He was almost bouncing on the tips of his toes as he moved through the line, and he asked the cashier if he could bag it before he paid since it was a surprise. Tooru called Suga over once it was bagged, and Tooru avoided each question Suga threw at him about what it was. And honestly Tooru wanted to give it to him now. He wanted to give everyone their presents now.

“Suga?” Tooru piped up on their way back to the apartment.

“Hm?” Suga was typing something on his phone.

“Is it…” he started, stopped, the plastic bag crinkling in his hands, and wondered if this was such a good idea. No, keep going. “Is it okay if I give you your present now?”

Suga looked up from his phone, the tip of his nose and ears red. “You wanna give it to me now?”

Tooru nodded. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, of course. You can do whatever you want, Oikawa-san.”

Tooru reached into the plastic bag, fingers grazing over the soft fur of the white, grey, and beige wolf, and pulled out the brown one, holding it out to Suga. And suddenly the cold air wasn’t cold enough as it tickled his cheeks. “Merry Christmas.”

Suga’s eyes fell on the plush, glanced back up at Tooru, and took the plush in his hands, their fingers ghosting over one another. Suga’s fingers were tender, smooth, like the gentle moonlight of his hair. He grinned, pearly white and making Tooru’s heart flit in a funny way. “It’s so cute! Thank you so much, Oikawa-san.”

Tooru smiled, rubbing the back of his neck and gaze falling off to the side, but his next words died on his tongue when his eyes landed on a line of parked cars along the sidewalk. The world slipped away, Suga’s voice going with it, and his entire core iced over. 

A van.

A black van.

With… with…

His fingers twitched at his side, almost curling into fists but not having the strength to. He was getting dragged away, yanked from the world he knew. The Darkness was coming. Blindfolds. The drone of machinery. Needles. The sickly yellow liquid injected into his veins. Sleep. He can’t breathe. Oh God, he can’t breathe.

“…kawa-san? Oikawa-san?” Suga’s touch on his arm made reality come rushing back. “Oikawa-san, are you okay?”

“They…” Tooru swallowed, his panic billowing up his throat like smoke, thick and dense and making his eyes water. He never looked away from the van. “They’re here.”

“What? Who’s here?”

Tooru wished his mouth would move, for words to come out, but stopped trying entirely when he heard it. Smelled it. A brusque voice followed by a stoic one. Cigarette smoke. Aftershave. Cheap cologne. The smell of other shifters. It made his stomach churn, hair stand on end. And Tooru awoke every muscle in his body, used every breath to ignite his veins and move. He grabbed Suga’s hand, sprinting past people, not caring who they bumped into, ignoring Suga’s rapid fire questions, and pulled the into an empty alley, startling a stray cat sifting through the dumpster and crouched down beside it.

Suga’s shoulders heaved in trying to regain his breath. “Oikawa, what’s –”

Tooru placed his hand over Suga’s mouth, and glanced at him, hoping to register the plea in his eyes, listening, listening, and listening still.

“The boss is gonna skin us alive if we don’t find him soon. It’s already been a week! We’ve searched everywhere. Where could that son of a bitch be hiding?”

“Getting angry isn’t going to solve anything. It certainly won’t clear your judgment.”

Tooru peeked out and around the side of the dumpster, growing still when he saw four men standing in the mouth of the alleyway. One was tall, burly, dark, cropped hair and wearing a coat that made him seem even larger. The other was, while still tall, was leaner, a neutral expression lying on his face with sandy blonde hair. 

His kidnappers.

After 15 long years… he finally saw their faces.

The burly one huffed. “Look, we’ve got shifters from the lab working for us. You figured they’d be of some use with their sense of smell. Don’t they have some kind of sixth sense or something and they can tell when another shifter is nearby?”

The other two men beside them were silent, unmoving, almost like statues, and the light was drained from their eyes. Tooru had never seen them before, but he knew they were the shifters being used to track him down. Both had black hair and dark eyes, falling in their deadened eyes, and one was taller than the other. Who were they? What was the life they left behind? The life ripped away from them. Did they have parents? Brothers and sisters? How many friends did they have? What school did they go to?

What were their names?

The burly one started moving down the alley and Tooru pressed himself and Suga against the wall as much as he could, listening for the ever-nearing crunch of gravel beneath his boots. He could hear Suga breathing next to him, fighting to keep his heaving chest under control, feel his breath warm against his hand. Could hear Suga’s heartbeat practically bruising his ribcage. Suga was afraid. 

And Ushijima’s words earlier rang through his head.

_“I’ve used my form to protect my family, my friends, and if that makes me a monster then so be it.”_

_I have to protect him,_ Tooru thought. I have to keep Suga safe. Suga is important. Like Iwa-chan.

And Tooru could feel his stomach tighten. He was afraid. He didn’t want to be captured again. He didn’t want to be taken away. But he couldn’t let them hurt Suga either.

“While that may be true, Tokyo has a population of 13 million people, and 20% of the population are shifters. Not to mention there’s no guarantee he’s even in Tokyo. He could’ve gone anywhere. It’s not going to be that easy. We’ve already acquired some of his DNA for testing, remember? There’s no rush.” The leaner one turned to the two shifters. “Kunimi, Kindaichi – let’s go. We’ll set out for the next city.”

The raven-haired duo merely followed him, saying nothing. The larger man huffed and jammed his hands in his pockets. “If he wasn’t so valuable I’d put a bullet in his head.” Then he walked away. 

Tooru moved his hand from Suga’s mouth, sucking in shallow breaths as his heart battered his ribcage. He figured he wasn’t alone in the facility they kept him in, but he’d never met any of them. He’d heard the screams, the cries for help, mixing and melding with his own, falling on deaf ears. He was scared. Just like the rest of them. He had escaped. Unlike the rest of them. He couldn’t go back. He couldn’t go back to that place. Not when he had seen everything, smelled everything, touched everything. Met so many wonderful people.

He couldn’t let that go.

He wanted to help them, his fellow captured shifters.

He wanted…

“…kawa-san. Oikawa-san.”

Tooru turned to Suga, meeting the concern head-on with his fear, the world hurtling back to him all at once, crashing into him like a freight train. “Suga…”

“Those people,” Suga said. “Who are they?

Tooru looked back down the empty alleyway, making sure they were gone. “They’re here,” he murmured. “They’re looking for me. I didn’t think they’d find me so soon. They…”

_They’re dangerous._

“Hurry, let’s go back,” Suga said, taking Oikawa’s hand, helping him to his feet. “Come on, we can’t stay here any longer.”

Tooru let himself be dragged down the sidewalk, through the maze of people, up the stairs to the apartment, his senses on overdrive. “Don’t tell Iwa-chan,” he said. “Please.”

“What?” Suga turned to look at him, keys in hand. “Oikawa-san… are you sure? This is really important.”

“I don’t… I don’t want to ruin anything.” Tooru shuffled on his feet, staring at the ground. “It’s Christmas… this is supposed to be happy. I want to be happy. I want everyone to be happy.” He glanced up at Suga to gauge his reaction. “Please. Don’t tell Iwa-chan.”

“You won’t ruin anything, Oikawa-san. I promise.”

“Please, Suga.” Tooru gave Suga’s hand a light squeeze.

Suga stopped, clearly searching Tooru’s expression for some sort of falter, some sort of indication that he didn’t really want to do this. “Okay. Okay, I won’t tell him.”

_Iwa-chan, Suga, Daichi… I have to keep them safe. They’re important to me. I have to keep them safe. No matter what._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys. After graduation, everything's been kind of hectic especially with family and finding a job, not to mention writer's block hit me like a freight train and exhaustion just in general so I made this chapter longer than normal. I hope you all enjoy it.
> 
> Your continued support is always appreciated <3
> 
> Shoutout to my friend Emily for the bribe between Matsukawa and Suga. She really delivered when I asked for it to be silly <3
> 
> And shoutout to Aja for listening to me cry about this story for forever <3


	8. halo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Shapeshifter children mature physically faster than human children. This, of course, sometimes varies, but nine times out of ten the animal physiology in their DNA will help them hit growing milestones faster than other children their age."
> 
> \- _What to Expect When You're Expecting,_ Vol. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not dead. 
> 
> Well. It feels like I am. But that's not the point. I just wanna thank you all for being so immensely patient with me and my lack of time management skills. Being an adult is hard and I 0/10 recommend it. Also, just a quick tidbit of information before we begin.
> 
> Because Erin here cannot count, I completely forgot to add the sixth child in Koushi's family. So to remedy this, I simply corrected it to being five children total with Koushi, Michio, Hisoka, Aiko, and then finally little Takeo. Sorry for the continuity issues, you guys. Math makes my brain all gooey.
> 
> Expect fluff in these next chapters, my friend.

“You live here, Suga?” Oikawa asked, unable to take his eyes off the house looming over them from his spot in the backseat, his nose practically touching the glass, warm breath fogging it, his tail wagging side to side like a whip.

Koushi chuckled at the shifter’s unbridled excitement. “Yup, this is where I grew up. I was born and raised in this town.”

“Wow…” Oikawa marveled, looking around as much as his window seat would allow.

“I appreciate you letting us come with you, Suga,” Iwaizumi said, watching his best friend thrum with unsettled nerves. “I know it means a lot to Oikawa. Me, too.”

“It was no problem, Iwaizumi. I’m happy to have you,” Koushi said “Those four hours are always so boring, and Daichi is awful on road trips. 45 minutes out of town and he’s already asleep.”

Iwaizumi smiled, soft and fond. “Yeah, I remember our hiking trip. He can fall asleep pretty much anywhere.” He looked at Koushi. “We’re not kicking him out though, are we? By tagging along with you?”

“Not at all,” Koushi said. “Daichi said he needed to do something for a big final project due at the end of spring and that he was gonna try and get together with some of your teammates for practice.” _Besides,_ he thought, _he said he needed some alone time. Sort things out. He’ll talk when he’s ready._

“Oh yeah, he was telling me about that. You told him not to overdo it, right?”

“Way ahead of ya.”

Koushi was worried about his best friend. That was easily determined through his eyes, his words, the way he set his shoulders, but Daichi told him to have fun with his family and not dwell too much on what he couldn’t change and to tell his family that he said hi and to save a piece of Koushi’s dad’s famous blackberry cobbler. The strawberry tarts Oikawa gave to him were already halfway gone, Koushi having to swipe the box away from Daichi so the man didn’t send himself into a sugar coma in one evening. But Koushi couldn’t help but notice that Daichi’s mood had lifted considerably by the end of the night. The enticing aroma of food and Iwaizumi’s pineapple upside down cake that Oikawa helped prepare. Conversations overflowing with laughter and jokes. Glittering paper strewn about the floor after the present opening frenzy. Sunlit eyes and starry smiles. A few days had passed since the party, and Koushi could still see his reflection in the ornaments adorning the tiny Christmas tree in his living room.

It was everything Koushi wanted.

For himself and his friends.

And as he promised, he didn’t tell Iwaizumi or Daichi about what happened in the alley.

Oikawa had confided in him the night before they left that he was worried about dragging Koushi’s family into this, dragging them into unnecessary danger, but Koushi assured him that everything would be fine with warm blankets, _Princess Mononoke_ , and hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream.

The cold in the small town of Kawasaki was much different than that of Tokyo. It was gentler, quieter, whispering, a subtle breath. And Koushi honestly missed this. He missed this town and all the people in it. He missed the childhood familiarity, the way he could let his feet guide him where he needed to go without thinking, the sounds of nature echoing from the snow-topped mountainous woods stretching out along the town on all sides. Koushi’s childhood home was settled right along the edge of the forest, a garden of vegetables burgeoning in the backyard, neighbors few and far between until further into town.

But most of all, he missed his family.

They grabbed their luggage from the trunk, Oikawa sniffing the crisp winter air, his ears flitting this way and that to take in each new sound, tail swaying low and easy along his legs, still marveling at the two-story house that was perched on the cusp of nature. Anticipation was seeping through his pores, leaking from his every limb. Oikawa wanted to take a run through the thicket, that much Koushi could see. And Iwaizumi couldn’t help but laugh.

“Someone’s excited,” he said.

Oikawa grinned, clutching the strap of his duffel bag. “I’ve never been out here before. Or, well, at least this part of the forest. It looks fun.”

Oikawa had become more talkative, his personality shining through more and more each day after years of it being repressed. He was outgoing, a little whiny at times, especially when he was tired, deceivingly sly, and teased Iwaizumi to no end, much to Koushi’s amusement. It made dinnertime conversations immensely interesting. But most of all he was observant. Almost frighteningly so. He noticed the tiniest things, the subtlest of expressions, the softest twitch of a finger, a flicker in the eye. 

Just like yesterday when Koushi had received an email from Akagi during their Christmas party. Koushi scanned at the preview of it, but once he saw that it was only to invite him out for coffee again, he didn’t respond. In fact, it was still sitting in his inbox, unread and pushed to the furthest part of his mind. He’d done some thinking about the proposition offered to him by his professor. Becoming a teaching assistant would look fantastic on his curriculum vitae, which would ultimately help him get into doctorate programs, but then he thought about the glances, the smiles, the frequent coffee outings. He stuffed his phone in his pocket, making it a point not to let that message consume his thoughts for the rest of the night.

Koushi hadn’t been in the kitchen for more than five minutes, phone in his back pocket, when Oikawa came in to refill his tea cup and picked up on it as soon as he stepped foot in the room. He didn’t ask too many questions, as clear as it was that he wanted to pry, and simply asked if Koushi was okay, leaving it at that.

Oikawa’s reading was also improving by leaps and bounds. The shifter was sharp, absorbing everything thrown at him like a sponge, and was constantly asking questions about what things were or how to get to different places. And Koushi and Iwaizumi were more than happy to oblige.

“Oh, Oikawa-san, before I forget,” Koushi started, shutting the trunk and zipping up the new jacket Daichi bought him. “You don’t have to hide your ears and tail if you don’t want to.”

Oikawa turned to look at him. “It’s… it’s okay if I leave them out? Your family doesn’t mind?”

Koushi smiled. “Not at all.”

Oikawa’s gaze trailed off to the side, and then he grinned, sharpened canines glinting in the light. He moved towards the edge of the surrounding woods, ears flicking this way and that to the sounds leaking from the thicket – a bird’s wings, the snap of a twig, a squirrel rushing through the bushes.

“Don’t get lost on us, now,” Iwaizumi said, a teasing lilt to his words.

“My nose will guide me back, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa grinned, the furthest thing from innocent. “It’s so nice that Iwa-chan is worried about me though!”

“Shut up, idiot.”

“Be nice to me!”

“Big brother!”

“Brother, you’re home!”

Every head turned towards the voices coming through the front door, Oikawa instinctively gripping onto the edge of Iwaizumi’s sleeve, and two children, a boy and a girl, all ran out, barreling into Koushi, nearly knocking him clean over. Hisoka and Aiko grinned as much as they could with a few missing baby teeth, and they jumped up and down. He laughed, ruffling their hair, a sharp contrast of earth and snow, and they were talking over one another, each trying to hog Koushi’s attention from the other.

“Koushi, you’re never gonna believe this!”

“We didn’t tell you because we wanted it to be a surprise!”

“It’s so cool!”

“Takeo finally did it!”

“And we were all cheering for him because we were so excited!”

“You have to come see it!”

“You just have to!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, you two! One at a time!” Koushi chuckled. “Now, what exactly happened?”

“Koushi!” Michio was at the door, coat hanging halfway off his shoulders and shoelaces undone, and he came running over, hugging Koushi with just as much force as their younger siblings, almost knocking the air clean out of Koushi’s lungs. He was almost as tall as Koushi now, only half a head shorter, and Koushi could hardly believe it. All of them had grown so much in the months he’d been gone, and he was starting to feel old.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” he said, giving his older brother one last squeeze. He then dealt a solid blow to Koushi’s shoulder. “You missed Christmas last year, you jerk!”

Koushi rubbed his arm. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I was busy.” He grinned hooked his arm around Michio’s shoulder and pulled him close, grinding his knuckles into his brother’s head. “And it’s about a hundred years too early for you to be talking to me like that!”

Michio laughed, trying to pry his brother off.

“Wow, mister! I like your ears and tail!”

Koushi turned, finding Aiko and Hisoka right at Oikawa’s side, staring at the shifter’s softly swishing tail with absolute awe. Oikawa, however, didn’t seem to know how to react to the children’s curiosity and harbored a nervous smile, his ears folded to each side, meeting their eyes with obvious apprehension. Iwaizumi, who offered the children a small wave, was right beside him so that no doubt made everything easier, but Koushi knew his younger siblings could be very… inquisitive.

Hisoka raised an eyebrow, mouth upturned into an indignant pout. “Big brother said that Daichi wasn’t coming over for Christmas this year. I thought he was joking but you’re definitely not Daichi.”

Iwaizumi scratched the back of his head. “I’m afraid not.”

Koushi immediately went over with Michio close behind, putting his hands on their shoulders and guiding them into taking a step back out of Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s personal space and smiled. “Hisoka, Aiko – these are my friends. Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime. Go on, say hello.”

“Hi,” they said in perfect unison, Aiko grabbing onto the hem of Hisoka’s jacket.

“Hi,” Iwaizumi said. “It’s very nice to meet both of you.” He gave Oikawa slight nudge with his elbow.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Oikawa said.

“I’m Michio.” The second eldest brother held out his hand, which Iwaizumi and Oikawa both shook. “We’re glad to have you here. Mom’s been talking about it nonstop.”

“She has…?” Koushi asked.

“Yeah.” Michio nodded. “She’s super excited. She’s cleaned everything twice over. It doesn’t even look like we live there.”

Koushi looked at Iwaizumi and Oikawa, smiling apologetically. “I’m gonna go ahead and apologize ahead of time for the interrogation you’re about to go through.”

“Big brother, big brother!” Aiko tugged at Koushi’s arm. “He’s a shifter! Just like –” 

“Koushi? Is that you?” a voice came from just inside the house, echoing in the winter stillness, and out came Sugawara Chiharu, their doting mother, in the doorway, zipping up her coat and her silver hair strewn about her face. She lit up as bright as the afternoon sun. “Koushi! Koushi, you’re here!” She turned back inside the house, holding out her hand, and little Takeo, all bundled up in winter clothes, came toddling out, taking her hand so she could help him down the porch steps.

Now, Koushi felt ancient.

The last time Koushi saw his youngest brother, he was barely learning to say “mama” and “dada,” and now he was bobbling around on his own two feet. Koushi looked at his friends, pride swelling up in his chest, and Iwaizumi greeted him with a tender smile, Oikawa’s eyes trained on Chiharu and Takeo, the latter more specifically. Something sparkled in his eyes. Something like excitement. Knowing.

“Look, Takeo!” Chiharu pointed towards them, towards Koushi. “There’s your big brother!”

Takeo seemed to be mostly focusing on trying not to fall, even with his mother helping him keep his balance, and when they finally drew closer his wide, shimmering brown eyes stared up at Koushi in confusion that was quickly overrun by wonder and intrigue. And most of all, recognition. Takeo let go of his mother’s hand, a wide grin on his face as he squealed in delight, and Koushi knelt down to be at eye level with his youngest brother, smiling past the tears welling up in his eyes.

Takeo stumbled a bit on his own but quickly regained his balance as he ambled towards Koushi, holding out his arms to be held, and Koushi gladly picked him up, hugging him close to his chest.

“Big brother, did you see that? Did you see that?” Aiko jumped up and down. “Takeo can walk all by himself now! He’s a big boy!”

Koushi smiled, brushing back her glinting silver strands of hair. “Yes, he is.”

Chiharu came over then, all grins and shining eyes as she hugged her eldest son. And Koushi returned it, honestly feeling like he was a child again, as he hugged his mother tight. “I’m so glad you’re here, honey.” She pulled away, placing her hands to his face, tears in her eyes. “My handsome boy. I swear, you’re growing taller every time I see you.” She then looked at Iwaizumi and Tooru, grinning and walking over to them. “And you must be Koushi’s friends that I’ve heard so much about. Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru, right?”

“That’s us,” Iwaizumi said, offering a smile. “I’m Iwaizumi, and this is Oikawa.”

“My, my, my, you’re both handsome young men, aren’t you?” Chiharu crooned, making both Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s cheeks turn a healthy shade of pink.

Koushi groaned. “Mom…”

Chiharu grinned, nothing but mischief pulling at her cheeks. “Well, we’re very happy to have you here! As sad as it is that Daichi-kun couldn’t join us, it’s nice to see some new faces. I know my husband will be happy to meet you, too.”

“Dad’s not home?” Koushi asked.

“No, he got called into work for an emergency operation,” Michio said. “He should be home soon though.”

Koushi nodded, smiling as Takeo buried his face in the crook of his neck.

“We’d better get inside,” Chiharu said. “Before we all catch cold by Christmas.”

They all shuffled inside, shedding their coats and shoes to let the heater melt the cold from their limbs, and Aiko, Hisoka, and Michio were vying for Koushi’s attention even as Koushi tried showing Iwaizumi and Oikawa the rooms they’d be sleeping in. Chiharu sent them off further into the house, promising that Koushi would still be there. Koushi was worried that Iwaizumi and Oikawa would be overwhelmed by his younger siblings’ boundless energy, but Iwaizumi said that growing up as an only child deprived him of having this experience and said that it was rather refreshing to have a horde of kids running around him. Though, Aiko seemed to have taken quite a liking to Iwaizumi. 

Oikawa also didn’t seem to mind too much, either. He seemed at ease around Hisoka and Aiko even as they asked him tons of questions and touched the soft fur of his tail despite Koushi telling them not to do so. He sat on the floor with them, Iwaizumi right beside him, as the two showed them a variety of toys and they listened with rapt attention. Aiko was currently showing Iwaizumi one of her favorite picture books, retelling the story with every ounce of her young heart but asking Iwaizumi to read it so he could see how “amazing it was for himself.”

Takeo, on the other hand, was overly cautious about Oikawa’s presence in their home. He toddled around, giving wary glances in Oikawa’s direction, never drawing too close and instead opted to stay by Koushi or one of his other siblings or follow their mother wherever she was going in the house. Right now, he decided to stick by Michio and play with a rattle and gnaw on a toy to soothe his sore gums as new teeth emerged.

“Iwaizumi-san, come look at this!” Hisoka said, holding up a book about snakes. “Doesn’t this look way cooler? It’s about snakes all over the world!”

“No, he’s hanging out with me right now, Hisoka!” Aiko huffed, sticking her tongue out. “Wait your turn! Besides, snakes are gross and mean and I don’t like them!”

“No, they’re not! They’re amazing and cool and way better than your dumb fairytale!” Hisoka scowled. “You’ve heard that story a hundred times, Aiko! Iwaizumi-san doesn’t wanna read that dumb book!”

And then they were off. Koushi made a move to scold them, not too harshly but enough to get the point across, when another voice drifted off from the other section of the living room.

“Hisoka, Aiko – that’s enough. Be nice,” Michio said, gaze and voice firm even as he was lounging sideways on the recliner with his feet hanging over the edge, phone in hand.

They both looked at him and whined. “But Michio!”

“No buts. You’ve gotta be nice to each other. We have guests.”

Koushi smiled as Michio tapped away on his phone, impressed and proud of how much Michio had grown over these past few years. Sure, he could still be a little immature but that was to be expected out of any growing teenager. Their mother had told him that Michio had really been helping out on the days Hisoka’s anxiety was through the roof or when Aiko would throw fits when she didn’t get what she wanted. And Koushi was so glad to see that Michio had stepped up to the plate to make sure their younger siblings were taken care of.

“How about this,” Iwaizumi said, garnering the duo’s attention. “I finish reading Aiko’s book and then you can tell me all about those cool-looking snakes, Hisoka. Sound like a good idea?”

“Yeah!” they both chimed.

“Oikawa-san, do you wanna see?” Hisoka plopped himself down next to the other brunet, opening the book and apparently not giving Oikawa much of a choice. “I really, really want a snake when I get older but Mom said that I could when I’m Michio’s age and it has to stay in my room. Mom really, really hates snakes. Do you like snakes, Oikawa-san?”

“Well…” Oikawa started. “Not really, but I think they look cool.” He pointed to one in the book. “Like that one with all the patterns on its back.”

“That’s a Honduran milksnake!” Hisoka grinned. “Its scientific name is _Lampropeltis triangulum hondurensis,_ and they’re usually confused with the venomous coral snake, but see how its red and black colors don’t touch the yellow? That’s how you can tell the difference! If the red and black both touch the yellow stripes then it’s a coral snake, but if not it’s probably a milk snake! Just like this one over here.” He flipped through the pages and pointed to another. “See how the black stripe is between the red and yellow? That means it’s not venomous! When an animal looks like another venomous to protect themselves, that’s called batesian mimicry!”

Oikawa nodded, listening with obvious interest, always eager to learn. He had packed one of his bags completely with the books he was reading, some he had already read and ones he was still having trouble with, and the journal Koushi had bought him for Christmas so he could write down whatever he wanted in it – words and phrases he didn’t understand, practice kanji, his thoughts that occurred to him, the memories that obviously troubled him. It was leather-bound, pages colored an aging yellow, that clasped shut with a lock.

As for the plush Oikawa got him… well, it was sitting snugly in his bag.

Oikawa lifted his head from the book. “It stinks in here.”

Koushi sniffed the air. “Is something burning?”

“My cake!” Michio scrambled from his seat and into the kitchen, nearly knocking over Chiharu when she walked into the room while carrying a tray of drinks for everyone. “Sorry, Mom!”

Chiharu sighed, shaking her head in amusement as she set the tray on the table and handed out everyone’s respective drinks. Tea for herself, Koushi, and Oikawa, coffee for Iwaizumi (which Oikawa promptly wrinkled his nose at), and hot chocolate for Hisoka and Aiko. “I hope you’re not too overwhelmed, Iwaizumi-kun, Oikawa-kun. It can be a madhouse in here.” She settled down on the floor next to Koushi. “Let me just say how glad I am to have you two here.”

“Thank you very much for having us here. I hope we aren’t putting anyone out,” Iwaizumi said.

“Trust me, you’re not.” Chiharu smiled. “We’ve got plenty of room. We just want you to be comfortable here during your stay.”

Iwaizumi returned it. “Everything’s perfect.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” She took a sip of her tea. “Daichi usually spends the holidays with us, but Koushi said that he had some project to do for school.”

“He’s getting his master’s in business and finance so he stays busy,” Iwaizumi said.

Chiharu sighed. “I don’t know how that boy does it.” Especially with everything that’s been going on, Koushi heard his mother mentally add.

“Well, he’s always been a math wizard,” Koushi chimed in. “Iwaizumi, too. He’s going for architecture.”

Chiharu’s eyes widened. “Really, now? That’s so interesting! What made you want to be in architecture?”

“Oh, uh, well…” Iwaizumi trailed off for a moment. “I haven’t always been going for architecture. I tried majoring in art and that was a bust, so I wanted to do something where I’d be able to draw and still make a living. And I’ve always thought it was fascinating how someone can design a structure in their head, put it on paper, and then make that a reality. They have to look at the big picture and see the smallest details all at once. And I happen to like math, so it worked out perfectly.”

“Nerd,” Koushi said.

Iwaizumi didn’t miss a beat. “Says the psychology major.”

“Oikawa-kun, what’re you majoring in?” Chiharu asked. “Or did you start working after high school?”

Oikawa stiffened but only slightly. “I’m working. I help run my parents’ flower shop.” He didn’t falter in his statement. And Koushi could only wonder if he imagined working in a flower shop he conjured in his dreams. What did it look like? Was it spacious with tall windows that let in tons of light and a colorful, purposeful display of flowers laid out to receive optimal sunlight and for the world to admire. Sunflowers. Lilies. Wisteria. Roses and daffodils. Tulips. Gardenias and poppies.

“That’s nice. I’m sure they appreciate the help.”

Koushi could see that Oikawa didn’t quite know how to respond, the shifter only nodding. He sighed. “Mom, what’s with the 20 questions? They’re visiting, not sitting in an interrogation room.”

She nudged him with her shoulder. “I’m just trying to get to know them better, dear.” She looked back at Iwaizumi and Oikawa. “Koushi told me you’re from Miyagi, too. A neighboring town, right?”

Iwaizumi nodded. “Yes. We’re from Shibata.”

“Ah okay, not too far from here.” Chiharu smiled. “Koushi was also telling me you’ve been friends for a long time. Did you two go to university together?” 

Koushi coughed into his teacup, Chiharu glancing worriedly at him, as Oikawa fidgeted next to Iwaizumi.

“We did until Oikawa was about eight when he moved away to Hokkaido,” Iwaizumi said, smooth as can be. Like this was rehearsed. Maybe it had been. Maybe he’d gone over it with Oikawa dozens of times. Figuring out what to say. How to say it. Still answering questions without raising suspicion. 

Chiharu rested her hand on the heel of her palm. “Wow, I’m sure that was tough.”

“It definitely was.”

“Iwaizumi-san, didn’t you play volleyball against big brother and Daichi?” Hisoka asked, tugging on Iwaizumi’s shirt and grabbing his attention. “You were wearing blue and white! He played against you right, big brother?” he looked at Koushi.

“That’s right.” Koushi nodded.

“What position did you play, Iwaizumi-san?” Aiko chirped, her eyes admiring and sparkling. “Were you a setter like big brother? Or a libero?”

“Psst, Aiko,” Koushi whispered, putting his hand to the side of his mouth and smiling when she looked at him. “He was a wing spiker. And the captain.”

She gasped, turning back to Iwaizumi. “Really? Wing spikers are way, way cool! I wanna be a wing spiker too when I get bigger! Momma even put a volleyball net outside so I can practice when I want to!” Then she pouted. “But it’s too cold outside.”

Iwaizumi beamed, ruffling her hair. “Keep working and I’m sure you’ll make a fine wing spiker.”

“Will you practice with me?”

“Of course.”

“Oikawa-san, do you wanna practice volleyball with me, too? It’ll be a lot of fun!”

“S-Sure,” Oikawa said. “I don’t know how to play, though.”

“That’s okay! It’s super easy!” she grabbed Oikawa’s hand, staring into his eyes with all the determination her six-year-old heart could muster. “I’ll teach you everything I know!” She studied Oikawa’s lithe hand in hers, tracing his palm and turning it this way and that. “You’d make a great setter.”

“What’s a setter?” Oikawa asked.

“They’re like the control tower of the team! They’re the ones who give the ball to the spikers so they can score, or they can pull a fast one and do a setter dump! It’s the coolest thing ever! Hang on, I have a DVD I wanna show you!” she took off running up the stairs.

Chiharu laughed. “You two are never gonna hear the end of it now that she’s on a roll.”

“Not that Iwaizumi minds. He plays on the volleyball team with Daichi, remember?” Koushi smirked, leaning forward until his chest bumped against the table. “Actually, speaking of Daichi…”

Iwaizumi glared at him over the rim of his mug, hazel eyes on fire.

Chiharu looked between the two of them. “Hm? What about Daichi?”

“Oh, nothing,” Koushi said, an innocent lilt to his tone that screamed anything but. “I was just remembering that I should text him to let him know we’re here. You know how he worries.”

“That’s how you’ve always been with each other, son,” Chiharu said. “There was this one time when they were in second grade where Daichi fell off the monkey bars and broke his arm and Koushi was absolutely convinced his best friend was gonna die.” She chuckled. “You should’ve seen him, he was an absolute mess.”

“I was eight!” Koushi huffed.

“I know, dear, but it was still pretty funny after everything was said and done.”

“Mama!” Takeo called out from his place next to the armchair, wobbling to his feet and reaching out for her with one hand.

Chiharu smiled at her youngest son, holding out her arms, beckoning him forward. “Come on, Takeo. Come on.”

He shuffled forward, dimpled hands out, smiling and showing off what little teeth he had. “Mama!”

“You can do it, my love. Come on.”

Takeo giggled, covering solid ground until he took a misstep, losing his balance and landing right on his rear end. He looked dazed for a minute, obviously trying to figure out what just happened, and sneezed, shaking his head afterwards. And two russet, pointed, black-tipped ears appeared from his brown tufts of hair, and a fluffy, white-tipped tail of the same color waved easily behind him.

“Whoa, that was a close one!” Chiharu said, keeping her tone light so as not to alarm Takeo.

Koushi held his smile, waiting for Iwaizumi and Oikawa to say something, do something – a hitch of breath, eyebrows raised half a fraction higher, a frown twitching in the corner of their mouths, a hushed comment passed between them – _anything,_ but nothing came. It was something he’d come to expect. Something he’d become used to countering. And with good reason.

Chiharu wanted to have Takeo at home, but with the increased health risks due to her age and the umbilical cord furled around Takeo’s neck, it was in hers and Takeo’s best interest to be at the hospital. And when she wouldn’t stop bleeding, Koushi thought his heart was going to stop as he sat out there in the waiting room. Pacing, pacing, and pacing. Working grooves into the floor with his feet. He could only imagine how his father felt. But once Chiharu was stable and Takeo was given a clean bill of health where Chiharu could finally hold him, Takeo had half-shifted in his upset when a nurse picked him up to give him a bath, and the shadowing nursing student audibly gasped. It was a shriek more than anything. Like they didn’t see it every day. Like they weren’t expecting to deliver babies with shifter blood coursing through their veins.

It made Koushi’s own blood run molten hot. 

The student nurse had been ushered out of the room, of course, and the head nurse apologized profusely to Koushi’s parents before he left the room, too. And they didn’t see that nursing student for the rest of their stay in the hospital. Which was no skin off Koushi’s back.

Takeo was back up on his feet but instead of continuing towards Chiharu, he was distracted by a toy that rattled when his foot nudged it. He carefully bent down to pick it up and ambled over to another area to play, Hisoka joining him and Takeo’s round face lit up at the sight of one of his older brothers.

Chiharu smiled, turning to look at Iwaizumi and Oikawa. “I’m sure you’re wondering how.”

A smile crossed Oikawa’s face too, his eyes shimmering with the light pooling into the living room from the windows as he watched Takeo with interest. He looked absolutely ecstatic, his tail swaying from side to side. “I knew it. I knew he was a shifter, too. That’s why you’re okay with me having my ears and tail out!”

Iwaizumi elbowed Oikawa’s ribcage, throwing over a disapproving stare. Oikawa rubbed his side, pouting with an “Ow, Iwa-chan!”

Chiharu’s laughed. “Of course! Even if we didn’t have a child who could shift you’d still be more than welcome to that however you please, Oikawa-kun. We have no right to take away whatever you’re most comfortable with.” She turned to look at Takeo and Hisoka. “But yes, fox shifter blood does run in our family. Specifically, my husband’s side of the family. It’s very thin but it’s there.”

“It’s skipped a few generations,” Koushi added. “The last shifter in our family was my great-grandmother. And we never got to know her.”

“She passed away a few months after Koushi was born,” Chiharu said. “I never thought that I’d have a child who could shift, and since my husband can’t shift either we never thought about how to raise a child who could. It’s been hard, but it’s also been very interesting. We’re at the teething stage right now and I’m on my last pair of tennis shoes. He’s tearing into everything right now – books, the legs of my kitchen table. He also has a hard time controlling when he shifts.” She chuckled. “One moment there’s a baby crawling around, and the next I find a baby fox hiding under the bed.”

“It’s been a ride,” Koushi said, easily recalling the times he’s visited home and there’s a trail of his shoes around the halls, half chewed, or he’s woken up to Takeo right next to him on the futon, fully shifted and sleeping soundly. And Koushi wouldn’t trade those moments for the world.

“Mom, where’d you put the volleyball DVDs?” Aiko called from the top of the stairs.

“They should be in your room,” Chiharu answered.

“I can’t find them!”

Chiharu sighed, standing. “I’d better help her find those DVDs or we’re never gonna hear the end of it. Excuse me for a moment.” She hurried up the staircase, hers and her daughter’s voices fading away.

Koushi propped his elbow up on the table, resting his head in his hand. “We’ve only been here for an hour and it already feels like it’s been two weeks.” He smiled at Iwaizumi and Oikawa. “Sorry if it’s a bit much. We’re always on the go around here.”

“I like it,” Oikawa said, his slender fingers settling around his steaming teacup and looked out the window that offered the perfect view of a distant mountaintop. “Your family’s really nice. I like them.”

Iwaizumi chuckled. “Yeah, I second that. You've gotta stop apologizing, Suga. No more apologizing while we're under this roof, got it?”

Koushi started. "But -"

"No buts."

Koushi paused, realizing his own words being used against him and let out a feigned scoff of annoyance. “I’m really glad you two decided to come with me,” he said. “I don’t know how I was gonna survive that car ride without you guys talking my ear off. Specifically Oikawa-san.” He smirked, chuckling at the bewildered look Oikawa gave him.

“I did _not_ talk your ear off.” Oikawa pursed his lips. “What’s that supposed to even mean?”

“It means you talk too damn much,” Iwaizumi said. “Which I’m inclined to agree with.”

Oikawa pouted, his ears lying flat to the side. “Do not.”

“You kinda do.”

“Do not.”

“Do to.”

Oikawa huffed. “Iwa-chan should learn to be nice to me and other people otherwise you’re not going to be very well-liked.”

“Yeah? Good. I don’t need a whole lot of people to like me anyway.”

“You need _someone_ to like you…” Oikawa murmured, making Koushi actually almost choke on his tea in a futile attempt to hide his amusement.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Nothing, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa grinned, mischievous and knowing.

Iwaizumi hooked his arm around Oikawa’s neck, bringing him close and rubbing his knuckles into the brunet’s hair, a devilish smirk on his face even as Oikawa begged for mercy. Koushi laughed. It was like they never even left Tokyo. And he was glad his friends were comfortable enough to act like this. It brought a sense of normalcy that Koushi craved sometimes. Well, as normal as things could get in this situation he’d been in for almost two and a half weeks now. 

They fell into an easy conversation for the next few minutes, Hisoka occasionally chiming in with his opinion and Takeo shaking a rattle in an obvious attempt to direct Hisoka’s attention back to him.

“Koushi, honey, I’m sorry to cut this short but I’ve gotta go to the store to pick up some groceries for tonight’s dinner. There’s some leftover rice, chicken, and fish from lunch if you guys are hungry.” She plucked her coat from the rack. “Iwaizumi-kun, Oikawa-kun – is there anything you’d like to eat in particular for dinner? You’re our guests, after all.”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa shared a glance for a moment, carrying an entire conversation in that single moment, before Iwaizumi spoke up. “Oh, it doesn’t really matter to us. We’ll eat just about anything.”

“Are you sure?” Chiharu asked. “My husband’s the cook in the family, so you just name the dish and he can make it.”

“I promise, anything is fine with us. Right, Oikawa?”

Oikawa nodded. “Right.”

“Okay. I’ll be back in a bit.” Chiharu smiled, heading to the door with Koushi following and Takeo stumbling along behind them. “Hisoka – you wanna come with me?”

“Nu-uh!” he said. “I wanna hang out with Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san!”

“Mom, can you grab another box of strawberry cake mix please?” Michio called from the kitchen, the sound of a utensil clattering to the floor echoing after him.

“What happened to the cake you were making?” she asked.

“I accidentally burned it, and I don’t have any more mix in the box. This is practice because Tachibana-san said I could sell one of my pastries! You guys are my taste testers, and it has to be perfect!” he said, poking his head around the corner, dark hair frazzled and a bit of pink frosting smeared across his cheek. “Can you get another one please? I have the money for it!”

“You keep your money, son,” Chiharu said. “I’ll grab you three more boxes, how about that? Strawberry, chocolate, and the confetti mix for cupcakes. Sound good?”

“Yes! Thank you!” Michio disappeared into the kitchen again.

“Need anything for the lemon bars?”

“No, I’ve got everything!”

Koushi chuckled. “Nothing’s changed.”

“Not a single thing,” Chiharu said. “He’s stress baking again. Worried about his exam grades and all that. We’re gonna have 10 cakes and 40 cupcakes by the end of the week.”

“And I’m gonna gain 20 pounds.” Koushi glanced down as Takeo grabbed onto his leg, clutching tight onto his jeans.

“That’s no lie.” She slipped on her shoes. “I won’t be too long. Unless you want me to take the kids.”

Koushi looked at his younger siblings, watching their eyes sparkle as they talked to his friends. And smiled. “I think they’ll be just fine.”

“Takeo, too?”

Koushi put his hand atop the baby’s dark curls of hair, watching out for the small fox ears, and looked down at his youngest sibling, meeting those iridescent cocoa eyes and smiled. “Yeah, I’ve got him.”

“Do you need anything?”

“Nope, I’m good.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back. Thanks for doing this.” She looked down at the infant, her smile sweet. “I’ll be right back, okay? Be good for Koushi.” And then she left.

“Mama?” Takeo tilted his head as the door shut.

Koushi knelt down to be at eye level with Takeo, and the young shifter placed his hands to Koushi’s cheeks, grinning wide and giggling. Koushi lifted his brother into his arms, the baby nuzzling into the crook of his neck, and carried him back to the living room.

“Big brother, big brother!” Aiko said, bouncing up and down. “I found the DVD! Can we watch it?”

“Of course we can.”


End file.
